What’s that?  This isn’t news, you say?  Well, it kinda is, since it wasn’t Salma’s baby.  The actress, in war-torn Sierra Leone with a camera crew to showcase the fight against tetanus, nursed the little baby when his mother ran out of milk:

The 42-year-old, who has a one-year-old daughter Valentina, was touring a hospital when she came across a mother who was unable to feed her baby boy.

Although TV cameras were there from ABC’s Nightline news programme, the actress did not hesitate.

Hayek said: ‘The baby was perfectly healthy, but the mother did not have any milk. He was very hungry – I was weaning my daughter Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk, so I breast-fed the baby.’

She added: ‘It was amazing because he’s really looking at me and he’s very little. My baby is one year so she can suck a lot harder.’

Hayek later admitted she worried about betraying her daughter, but she added: ‘I thought about it, am I being disloyal to my child by giving my milk away?

‘I actually think my baby would be very proud to be able to share her milk and when she grows up I will make sure she continues to share and be generous caring person.’

She went on to recall how her great-grandmother had helped out a woman in a similar fashion.

She explained: ‘My great-grandmother was in a Mexican village and they found a woman in the street inconsolably crying and the baby was also crying, crying, crying.

‘My great-grandmother went up to her and said “What is the matter?” and the mother said, “She is very, very hungry and I have no more milk”.

‘And in the street my great-grandmother took the baby and breastfed that baby who instantly stopped crying and went peacefully to sleep.

‘It was amazing (to breastfeed another child) because I was really impressed by (my great-grandmother’s) story. I’m here in Sierra Leone and I was able to feed a baby that was very hungry.’

In a world where we are constantly reading and reporting on the selfishness and self-centered actions of celebrities, including those who visit war-torn countries, it is like cool rain on a hot day to read about something like this.  And it’s awesome not only because she performed a charitable act of mercy, but because this footage is being shown on national television.  I haven’t given one of these out for a while, but she gets a Breath Of Fresh Air Award.

Angelina who?

Recent pictures showed a slightly heavier Salma Hayek than we are used to seeing.  Not that it bothered me any, when her breasts start to eclipse the sun, let me know, until then it’s a bouncing boobie free-for-all.

While many speculated that she was just eating one too many burritos, it turns out that she is in fact fully fecund, and with child too!!  And who’s the lucky guy to land this hot tamale? (Yes, I will make the obvious ethnic food references.)  None other than some guy I have never heard of. 

Francois-Henri Renault, who is the CEO for a company that sells stuff like Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent.  Some smelly cheese-eating Francophile.  Why France, why?  Isn’t it enough you have all the good wines, must you take all the good women too?

Thumbs up: he’s rich.  Thumbs down: he’s sub-optimally attractive. 

Why do his looks matter you ask?  Well I am not really sure, but my sponsors say that I have to keep things sexy around here and that guy just isn’t sexy.  I guess he could hold his wallet up over his face, that might improve things.  But hey, I don’t have to sleep with him, right? 

Wait a sec……Nope, I just checked my contract, I do NOT have to sleep with him. Lucky for Salma too, because once you’ve been with me, well, you know what they say. 

In any case, Congrats Salma and Francois-Henri Pinault!!   Make sure you say that with a heavy french accent, it makes you sound classy. Just like me.