Demi Moore recently posed for the cover of W magazine.
WHY? Does anyone care?

What the hell is she wearing? This metallic swimsuit toga with epilettes reminds of something out of the movie Mad Max. Who picked out this silly frock?
And talk about smoke and mirrors! Her photo must of had to jump through hoops to achieve the more than obvious photo shop and airbrush -a-rama. If her name was not on the cover, I wouldn’t have known it was her.

There comes a time when someone should just accept that they are getting older, and stop trying to nip and tuck their way back to their youth. When everyone knows your age and they see little evidence of any aging, people just think it’s ridiculous and fake.

Although of course Demi, (make sure you pronounce it De-MEE, ick) completely denies that she has ever had any plastic surgery. Yeah, OK De-MEE. *laughs holding sides*

To make everyone really roll their eyes even more…
Apparently, Ms. Brat Pack has just announced that she would like to be called a puma rather than a cougar.

Bitch please… you are forty seven years old. Pumas are women in their thirties dating older men. Your barking up the wrong tree Ms. Hot Flash!

I never cared for Demi Moore. 
She is not that talented and completely full of herself. Top that off with her early interest in Scientology… and that really sealed the deal for me. Thank you Bruce Willis who had the common sense to put his foot down and say no to his kids being raised as Scientologists. Bravo Bruce!

But of course on the other hand, she is seen everywhere with that silly red Kabala string around her wrist. I guess they photo shopped it out of the pictures? 
Kutcher and her also got married by a Kabalah minister or whatever the heck. Silly celebutards. *Rolls eyes*

So on to her MUCH younger and prettier half, Ashton Kutcher.
Women are still crazy over him, and I think he was once perceived as a likable fun loving character. But now I think everyone just looks at him and thinks he is pretty much whipped by Demi and has lost totally his mojo. woo pah!

It seems that Ashton doesn’t do much of anything any more, except those stupid camera commercials. Not that he was some great big talent before. He has his Punk’d show and some crappy movies he did. But what does he do now? Or have I missed something major?

Same goes for Demi. What has she done lately? Would anyone take the risk and hire her for one of their movies? That seems very doubtful.

One thing that Demi has been busy doing, is biding her time by tweetin’ on Twitter. She loves to tweet about guess who? Ashton of course. All about their ooey gooey romance. Made me throw up a little. 

Yeah ok, we get it Demi, you landed yourself a young one with a pretty face. WE KNOW. Now what?

Eonline wrote:

Demi Moore is on the cover of December’s W wearing a festive holiday getup. The reigning Queen of Twitter talks about (what else?) being a cougar and how great Ashton Kutcher is. Feels like we’ve heard this all before from the actress, but let’s do it anyway.

While everyone considers Demi to be the O.G. cougar, she doesn’t see it that way.

“I’m certainly not the first person to be in a relationship with a younger man, but somehow I was plucked out as a bit of a poster girl,” she says.

“I don’t know why that is. But I just kind of step back sometimes and say, ‘There is some reason, and what is it that I have to share in a positive way?’ I’d prefer to be called a puma.”

(”Puma” is already used to describe women in their 30s who go for younger men, so 47-year-old Demi doesn’t really fall into that category. But she thinks “she came up with the new designation,” so maybe it’s best to let her go on believing that?)

Now about her 31-year-old husband. She loves him. A lot.

“The most overwhelming part of meeting someone that you already felt you had such a deep and old connection with is that your feelings are greater than the time you’ve had to actually be with one another. Now we’ve had the physical time together. The love he has for me makes me a better person by giving me the courage to take risks. I can fail and have someone who loves me just the same. I never knew it was quite possible.”

If she’s not gushing about her hubby on Twitter, she’s gotta gush somewhere. Now let’s wrap this up with a photo of Demi looking like she’s ready to join the next round of Dancing With the Stars. (That’ll happen at some point, right?)

So what about that dress that E is talking about?
Here it is below.

Hey Demi! The ’80’s called they want their dress back!
And what is that thing on her thumb? A grey bandage? Or am I seeing that wrong?

Such an awful pose she struck with that boney chicken wing of an arm sticking out. Why would W magazine and Demi approve of that picture? Were the other pictures to pick from that much worse? Hard to imagine.

Back to the inigma of their relationship.
I wonder if Demi’s cub (Ashton) will still be into making love to a 65 year old saber tooth when he turns a meer 49 years old?

Hey Demi, I hope you’re up for a hoo-ha rejuvenation? Or have you already had one? Well by the time you hit 65, you will be in need of yet another hoo-haw hoist anyways, because gravity is not kind.

Ashton was and still is considered quite the looker. I doubt he will ever have a shortage of women who want to jump his bones. He’s only 31 years old and has his whole life ahead of him. The older he gets… the better the young ones are going to start to look to him. It’s usually the way it goes. Sorry, fact of life. Get over it.

And don’t start with the “if Demi was a man, it would be more accepted” BS.
It goes both ways.

I have a friend who married a MUCH older man. They have a huge age difference. She did NOT marry him for money, he didn’t have any money. She still loves him of course, but the more he ages, the more his personality is changing, and he wants to do less and less. He is pretty content with just sitting around and watching TV when he is not working and of course that is normal for many. She jokes about him being a senior citizen, but I know it’s really starting to bother her. And no my friend is not shallow. I think when they got married, she convinced herself that his age wouldn’t be an issue. But now that he is in his sixties and he is changing his ways, she wishes for the younger man she married. It happens.

But maybe Ashton will feel differently.
Maybe he will stay with Demi, even when her ta-tas go completely south for the second time and she has to keep dying her pubes, so the rug will match the drapes. (ok, now I am grossing myself out) 

Hey Demi! I wouldn’t hire any cute young things as maids to hang around the house, if you catch my drift. And I think it would be a little tough to see Ashton smooching it up with a younger gal in a movie. Which has already happened. And as much as Demi acts like she is secure about their relationship, there’s bound to be insecurities. Especially when some of the girls are twenty years younger than her. It’s normal.

And what if Ashton wants to be a baby daddy? What if he wants his own kids? That has to weigh heavy on Demi too, especially that her baby making years are over. I know he considers Demi’s kids as his own, but it’s not the same as having your own child. He may be filled with a lot of regret when he gets a little older for not having one of his own.

Ashton still has PLENTY of time left for that. But Demi? Nope! She is done. I guess they can always hire a surrogate. But again, not the same.

Only time will tell if this puma cougar can hold on to her cub.
Who knows… maybe Demi will leave Ashton for a younger cub!

Not sure how many lives out of nine that Demi the puma cougar has already used.
I am just telling it like it is.

FYI… In the animal kingdom….
Cougars and pumas (and mountain lions) are all one in the same.
But don’t tell Demi that… she will then want to be called a kitten. MEOW!

Way back in the days when vampires used to be scary instead of sexy….
Halloween was a different beast. 

In elementary school, we would get dressed up in our costumes and march around the different classrooms in the Halloween parade. We scarfed down orange frosted cupcakes and candy right in the middle of the school day. Man, that was really living!

Going Trick or Treatin’ back in the day was also very different than today. It was an art form. 

I lived smack dab in the middle of suburbia. Our house was situated within a continual maze of friendly streets and adjoining neighborhoods. We would carefully map out the best route for the most possible coverage. This  of course would insure that we would come home with a giant sack of Halloween goodness. We would travel which seemed like miles away from our house to accomplish this.

Every year we made it a point to visit the trick or treatin’ hot spots. Like the lady who always came to the door with a bowl of nickles. She used to let us grab as many as we can with one try. For some reason I can’t see that happening today, nor would kids think that it would be much of big deal to get nickles. Well, quarters maybe. *snicker*

I remember dressing up as a gypsy EVERY single year and wearing the same skirt which was passed down from my two older sisters. The costume was topped off with a kerchief on my head worn sideways, a single gold earring sewn to the kerchief and two circles of rouge on my face. (not very PC back in those days)

Every year my mother would add a few extra buttons and bells to the skirt so it would jingle when I walked ran from house to house. It really didn’t matter what my costume looked like, since my mother ALWAYS made me wear my coat over it. Of course this annoyed me to no end and sweat would always pour down my face from wearing too many clothes.

I remember one year my mother actually broke down and bought me a costume, after caving in to my sad puppy dog eyes. We were never allowed to bug my parents for things, and I always cringed when my father would say “well..we’ll see”. That used to drive me totally nuts.
 
At the department store I picked out my favorite costume out of the stack of boxes on the table, and my mother gave me the very serious ”ARE YOU SURE?” 
I nodded my head yes like a bobble head doll. Needless to say, I was beside myself with joy.

Looking back, I get so silly when I think about that costume today. It was either a princess or cinderella costume, I don’t think the box even specified. It was nothing more than a shiny piece of blue fabric cut into a square which had a slit in the back at the top of the neck with strings to tie it closed. And it probably cost all of $2.98, if that. 

“The gown” had yellow lines painted down the front to give the illusion that it had some sort of shape, and to make it look more ”gown like”. The plastic mask that came with it had blonde hair with pink painted lips that sported an eternal smile. It really was a piece of crap. But to me, this costume was the creme de la creme.

I remember I could hardly eat my dinner that night, as I knew trick or treating was just an hour away and I had visions of fellow trick or treaters ooohing and ahhhing over my magestic costume and I couldn’t wait to show it off.

I hurriedly gobbled down my dinner and put on my costume AND my coat,  *grumble* grabbed my pillow case and bolted out the door with my sisters. By the time I got to the end of the driveway, I noticed that trying to see out of my princess mask was going to be quite the challenge, especially in the dark. My eyelashes were rubbing up against the eye holes which of course were cut way too small. I didn’t notice any problem before when I tried it on in the house in the bathroom mirror. I guess I was too busy admiring the mask and did not pay attention to it’s functionality. Besides, I didn’t want my mother to think that I had made a bad choice.

My mask problems coupled with the fact that I was running in a tube sock shaped gown and trying to keep up with my sisters, didn’t make trick or treating very easy. By the time I got to the forth house, I was struggling to climb the stairs. Mainly because I just couldn’t see the stairs through the slits in that stupid mask. A layer of sweat was starting to form between my face and the mask and the elastic was already starting to tangle in my hair every time I adjusted it, which was every five minutes. I was no longer liking my princess costume and I found myself wishing that I had worn that dern gypsy skirt again.

But all that seemed to dissapear into the night as my pillow case bulged with precious candy.
FREE CANDY!

Going back home with my “loot” for the evening, I always had mixed emotions. Should I have gone down one more street? Maybe get one more Crunch bar?

Of course since my sisters were much older, many times they would drop me off and go back out. But that didn’t bother me. I was sweaty, tired and looking forward to the best part of the evening …
which was the almighty candy sort.

Apples (why did people hand out apples?) and unwrapped candy were tossed immediately and all the yucky candy like Mary Janes and “old people hard candy” was thrown in the “icky” pile. My Dad always had dibbs on the Hershey candy bars with almonds, but I didn’t mind one bit. It wasn’t my favorite candy bar back then.

I think my favorite candy bars as a child were Milky Ways and Nestle Crunch Bars. Besides my other candy favorites, which were Candy Dots, Twizzlers, Chuckles, (not the green one) Good n Plenty, Pixie Stix, and Jujubes. I never liked the wax whistles and lips. I couldn’t understand why kids would chew on those huge balls of wax. Yuck! Even back then I thought that was gross. 
Ironically today, my favorite candy bar is the Hershey bar with almonds. I find it’s simplicity equisite. *snicker*
But Good n Plenty and Twizzlers are still very dear to my heart.

So back to the trick or treating after glow….
My parents would let me choose a few pieces of candy to eat and then it was off to bed. Another one of my favorite holidays was done for the year. But at least the candy would last for weeks.

These days, I don’t hand out candy on Halloween any more.
I used to.
I would make trays of goodie bags stuffed with candy and even dressed up to hand the candy out. But now I only make goodie bags for the little ones in my neighborhood of the families of whom I am friendly with.

I stopped handing out candy when I noticed that there were really BIG and much older kids that were trick or treating. College kids. Most of these older kids didn’t even wear costumes when they came to my door. Apparently to them, wearing a “hoodie” with the hood up was considered costume.

Some of the kids, although younger, were being dropped off by their parents by CAR. An SUV would pull up on the corner of our street and about 5-8 kids would jump out. Can you imagine that? Trick or treating by car? That’s all I would have to do is ask my parents to drive us around trick or treating. They would have laughed us into the following year. NOBODY did that back then. Besides, what fun would that have been?

So between the trick or treating college kids and the other kids that were being bussed into our neighborhood, it just kind of disgusted me and I said that’s it, no more.

We decided to turn off our lights and keep our door closed. We thought that would suffice. After all, when were were kids, we never went to houses that didn’t have lights on, that was the rule. But that didn’t stop the kids around my way from ringing our bell and knocking on the door. So rather than sitting through the constant door bell ringing while trying to watch TV, we said the hell with it and decided to go out for dinner.

Our Halloween tradition these days consists of going out to dinner and perhaps a cocktail.
Gone are the days of making trays of goodie bags and going to costume parties and staying out till all hours of the night.

Tomorrow night, I will wear my black jacket and my rhinestone spider pin out to dinner. That is the extent of my costume these days. Although today I don’t have to wear my coat over it if I don’t want to. *snicker*

And to my Mom…
for all the years I put up such a fuss when I was a kid about wearing that hand me down gypsy skirt another year, I have to admit that the store bought princess costume that you reluctantly bought me was not nearly as grand as I imagined it would be. I guess mothers are always right. 

Who would of thought that the gypsy skirt that I loathed so much as a child, would end up being my fondest memory of Halloween today. *smile*

A very safe and Happy Halloween to you all!

Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

Seriously people. Has everyone lost their damn minds?
The AMA Awards (American Music Awards) recently announced the nominees for 2009, and Michael Jackson is up for FIVE awards. When I read this news, I actually thought it was some sort of spoof.

But no, Jackson was nominated for Best Artist, Best Male Artist, Best Album, Best R&B Male Artist and Best R&B Album.

I just can’t sit back and watch this stupidity unfold without asking WTF?
This may be the only time I will ever stand up for Lady Gaga.

The AMA Awards are actually based on sales and radio data from Nielsen. And for the last three years, fans were able to vote for the winners on AMA’s website.

So although Jackson’s album “Number Ones” is selling like hot cakes now,*shakes head*, it was RECORDED BACK IN 2003.
SIX YEARS AGO.
So why the HELL was it eligible for a nomination? And how is this fair to the other artists?
It’s not.

A tribute to Jackson at the AMA Awards would have been more than enough. Even although I am sick to death of ”Jackson mania” and do not understand the worship that this man is receiving. It just blows my mind that people have such short memories.

If you think the award nominations are insane, hold on to your sequined glove, because just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any more ridiculous, I happen to see a petition online, for Michael Jackson to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I kid you not.

Here is a snippet from the petition, and it is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time and I have bolded the parts I find most hilarious.

Dear Norwegian Nobel Committee,

We the undersigned, would like to nominate legendary performing artist and global humanitarian Michael Jackson for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. He was and will continue to be one of the most famous, and influential men on earth. Michael’s message for humankind has always been rooted in compassion, and kindness. He has succeeded a lifelong dedication to the well being of humanity. Moving beyond all political, social, and economic borders Michael Jackson consistently spread a positive message of global unity, healing, and love.

Wait…. I have to get off the floor, I was laughing too hard.
I know I always say this, but I swear, you can’t make this crap up.
Surprisingly, there are over 45,000 + people supporting this petition. *pinching myself*

Yes Jackson has helped some people over the years. Ok.
But the Nobel Peace Prize?
He doesn’t exactly have the best reputation. *snicker*
Remember?

Remember that tiny little court case where he showed up in his PJ’s?
You know, the one where they let him go even though the evidence was a mountain high? *grumble*

So back to the most ridiculous AMA Awards in the history of the AMA.

A truthful snipette LA Times:

Michael Jackson’s “Number Ones” will compete for favorite album in the pop/rock field against Lady Gaga’s “The Fame” and Taylor Swift’s “Fearless.”

Both of the latter have a decent shot at being represented at the upcoming Grammy Awards, but the latter won’t feature any albums from Jackson.

That’s because his “Number Ones” was released back in 2003. What’s more, the album is simply a greatest hits compilation, featuring only a pair of songs actually released this decade. Regardless of retail impact, a 2009 award show should be restricted to albums actually recorded within its recent history. At last check, Jackson has already won plenty of American Music Award trophies for the songs on “Number Ones,” including an artist of the century accolade in 2002.
A segment or two honoring Jackson would have been a better way to recognize the King of Pop’s contributions to music. The MTV Video Music Awards opened with a tribute to the star, and the 2010 Grammy Awards will surely feature some sort of Jackson memorial. Yet giving the artist posthumous awards, especially when said artist hasn’t released an album of new material since 2001, seems an unfair slight to today’s current crop of pop stars.

 

Yes! Exactly!
Thank you LA Times!

I think it is a damn shame that other artists are going up against someone that recorded an album SIX YEARS AGO, and who won’t be present to accept, because of a little minor detail that can not be rectified. What is it again? Oh yeah.. HE IS DEAD.

Further more, do people think that Jackson would have been nominated if he was still alive?
HELL NO!
Under these circumstances, and besides that other little thing about Jackson…. what was it again? Oh yes… the fact that he was an alleged child molester, who admitted on camera  to sharing his bed with young boys…
I think if he wins ANY one of these awards, it will show just how insane people really are and I may have to donate some money to NASA so they can continue working on an alternative planet for me to move to. (certainly not the moon, Jackson was already there too)

 Now you can bash me all you want in the comment section, because I know that all the Michael Jackson blind sheep without memories will be out in droves praising their fallen King.
So go ahead…bash away.

But keep in mind that these nominations for Jackson are simply NOT FAIR to the other artists, besides the fact that is beyond RIDICULOUS.

Yes the man was talented. We get it, I would never dispute that. But enough is enough!
Give the other artists the chance they deserve.

If Jackson ends up winning any awards, the best thing the Jackson estate could do, is to not accept it and pass up the award (s) to the most deserving artist. At least that would show some class.

If you were one of the artists that busted their tails to get where they are today and then lost to someone who would have not won if they were alive, whose album was recorded SIX YEARS AGO, and again that little minor detail of them being DEAD, how would you feel?
How would YOU feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Or in this case…. the glove on the other hand?

Wow!  Just when I thought I was all done hearing about what a buffoon Bush is, and being tickled silly that this idiot is no longer our President, I hear that he snubbed J.K. Rowling, author of all the Harry Potter books because and get this… the books encouraged WITCHRAFT!

OMG!! Are you freakin’ kidding me?
Where was Bush’s head at? The Salem Witch Trials of 1692?

Gee, too bad stoning and hanging for suspicion of “witchcraft” was outlawed, hey Dubya?
I guess there’s always water boarding… oh wait, that’s right your veto on outlawing waterboarding thankfully failed. Sorry you out of luck Dubya!

Hey Dubya…. by the way…
Just how on earth does one encourage witchcraft from a children’s book, you dumb ass?
They weren’t written by Aliester Crowley for crying out loud!

Eonline wrote:

Noted Muggle/compassionate conservative George W. Bush was apparently a devout Harry Potter hater.

The former commander in chief wasn’t about to honor J.K. Rowling, the talent behind the book series, with the Presidential Medal of Freedom…and for quite the logical reason.

“People in the White House…actually object[ed] to giving the author J.K. Rowling a presidential medal because the Harry Potter books encouraged witchcraft,” writes former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer in his book, Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor.

That’s right. Good ol’ Dubya and his administration dissed the mega-selling British author, refusing to let her join the ranks of James A. Michener, Harper Lee and John Steinbeck. (Guess he figured the Secret Service could handle any Avada Kedavra curse flung his way.)

Bush distributed 81 medals during his time in office, mostly to war-related allies.

The medals went to mostly war-realted allies? Gee, why am I not surprised?

Now I am not outraged that this author didn’t receive a medal.
I am outraged over the REASON why she didn’t receive a medal.

Long winded rant alert!
Deep breath…..
If any of you right wingers out there need proof that Bush is an idiotic, over conservative, totally incompetent FOOL that was jointly responsible along with his bunch of deluded administrators for putting this country in a total cluster f*ck, (and I am being kind) then here’s some further proof of the total idiocy that enveloped the White House!

And in the sheer brilliance of George W. Bush …
Only one of many of his pearls of wisdom… and I quote:

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we”

Every once in a while you read something that just makes you cringe and say, Oh come on!
This is one of those stories.

Apparently, Simon Cowell has written a letter, excuse me… a VERY LONNNNNNG letter to his younger self and it was published in the Daily Mail. I didn’t read all of it, because #1…. I have a life, and #2… it was just making me cringe so much I was getting a crick in my neck. And also one of my pet peeves is someone talking in the third person.

First off, who does this? 
Or if you are so silly to do so, do you have it published so everyone can say EWWWWW and think you are a total douche? Really, can Simon be any more full of himself?

Simon must have started at a very early age. The picture below is probably how Simon started out.

Simon Give Us Kiss Now.. You Handsome Dog!

He wrote this letter to himself because his 50th birthday is right around the corner on Oct 7th. I was speechless as I skimmed over the letter and just couldn’t believe what I was reading. We couldn’t post the whole letter here because it was beyond HUGE.

It’s best to read the entire letter yourself on the Daily Mail website.
The letter was entitled, “SIMON COWELL: A letter to my shallow, reckless, cocky younger self“.
I kid you not. Oh! Be sure to have a bucket handy. Click here and gag.

Eonline reported:

Simon Cowell’s Gone Soft (and Long-Winded) in His Old Age

Someone needs to pull the pen from Simon Cowell’s fingers.
While we love it when the crotchety American Idol judge decides to air his dirty laundry in public (that Susan Boyle botch list was a classic), is an absurdly lengthy diatribe really necessary?

On the cusp of his 50th birthday next week, Cowell wrote a letter to himself published in yesterday’s Daily Mail in the U.K. In it, he looks back on the past few decades, scolding himself for poor decisions he made in the ’80s and ’90s and patting himself on the back for the good ones.

It would be a good, self-deprecating, third-person about-face, but regardless of what he says, nearly 3,500 words makes for nothing but a puff (as in puff, the magic ego) piece.

“You are on a roll and you think the good times will last forever but, oh dear, Simon. You are so, so wrong,” he writes to the 1980s version of himself. “You look like a complete idiot…you are overconfident, far too cocky and dressed from head to toe in expensive designer gear…It hasn’t dawned on you yet, you idiot, that you can’t afford any of this stuff.”

Of course, Mr. Tight T-shirts takes it easy on himself for the final 1,000 words or so.

“I must say, despite everything, I’m quite proud of you, Simon,” he says. “You’re happy, you’re content and just incredibly grateful for where you are.”

Then he goes on to list what’s changed for him over the years—really important things like what he drinks and snacks on and how he doesn’t like to bum $5 from anyone. He pats himself on the back for never marrying because he’s such a workaholic, and for staying friends with his exes.

“Your job, Simon, was to make celebrities, not to become one yourself, dear boy,” he says. “Underneath it all, Simon, you are a realist. You don’t believe the hype about yourself. You can see what you do well and what you do badly. People think you are this Machiavellian character, forever plotting and scheming.”

He ends his diatribe as Hallmark would have intended—”So happy birthday! Love Simon”—although we’d hate to see the card size needed to print this self-loving loathing opus.

“Happy Birthday LOVE Simon“? I think I just threw up a little.

The definition for narcissism is as follows:

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
2. Psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche characterized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits

Well I am not sure if #3 applies to Simon, but it would not surprise me one iota!

His letter did remind me of a little poem from my grammar school days when people used to sign your autograph book when you graduated. The all so familiar ”roses are red” rhymes and those little clever ditties like “2 great, 2B, 4 gotten”.

No it wasn’t the “roses are red, violets are black, go sit on a tack“ rhyme that came to mind. (although it certainly would apply)

It was the following little poem, which I would like to dedicate to Simon on his upcoming 50th birthday….

You love yourself you think your grand..
You go to the movies and hold your hand.
You slip your arm around your waist…
And when you get fresh.. you slap your face!

With new reports of Cowell doing American Idol for another two years and also producing “The X Factor” in the US, he will be making over 100 million by this time next year. *shakes head*

It is quite obvious that he can care less that this letter to himself makes him look like a total conceited, pompous ass. Or maybe that is exactly what he wanted. His popularity seems to stay afloat by people loving to hate him.

Oh crap, I think I just contributed to that!
Touche’ Cowell!

During a press conferece  in Venice, actor and perpetual bachelor, George Clooney kept totally cool when he gets an unusual question from an admirer in the crowd. He didn’t seem surprised, nor were his feathers ruffled when the man proclaimed his love for George and said:

“George! Take me! Choose me, Please! Please choose me George!  May I kiss you please? Just one kiss!”

For a minute there I thought I was watching a scene from a Borat movie.

Clooney’s reaction was classic. He remained cool, calm and collected and totally owned the moment. He told the buff admirer:

“It’s hard when you take a big chance and it really doesn’t work. It’s always embarrassing when you take one real swing for the fences and it just falls flat. It’s a good try though!”

Yep, he stayed cool as a cucumber, continued cracking jokes and interestingly, complimented the man’s tie adding:

 ”There’s little ambulance on its way here. You stay there, we will get back to you.”

He was obviously dissing the man’s package size.

Then when someone from the Daily Mail gets up to ask him a question, George quips:

Take your clothes off before you answer this question.

I think George meant before you ASK this question, but we all know what he meant.

Personally, I think Clooney rather enjoyed the little (no diss intended) distraction and always seems ready to crack some jokes.
So to you Mr. Clooney…I take off my hat — that’s it though. I promise!

Rumors have been circulating lately about the gender or shall I say the genders of Lady GaGa. Many people thought that The Princess of Pop (yeessh) is a hermaphrodite. For those of you who do not know what a hermaphrodite is, it is a person born with both male and female genitalia.

The picture that had everyone a-buzz, is the one below. It clearly shows a “bulge” of some sort in the crotch region.

People were wondering, if this was carefully placed “package” for shock value for her career? Or a photo-shopped picture? Or is Lady (I use the term lightly) more than just a lady?

Well Lady finally came forward and put an end to the rumors and said that “she was not offended, but her beautiful vagina was very offended”.  Thank God that is cleared up, I will no longer have sleepless nights. *snicker*

Wait….what did she say? Her beautiful vagina? Who the hell talks publicly (or at all for that matter) about having a beautiful vagina? (with the exception of the Vagina Monologues)
Wow!  Talk about being totally full of themselves.

The Examiner.com reported:

Since the hermaphrodite rumors started circling around Lady Gaga back in August, the singer has kept quiet about whether or not she has both parts.

Lady Gaga reportedly told an Australian radio station, “My beautiful vagina is very offended. I’m not offended; my vagina is offended. I’m not embarrassed. I sold four million records in six months; I’m not embarrassed about anything. I think this is society’s reaction to a strong woman.”

“The idea that we equate strength with men and a penis is a symbol of male strength, you know, it is what it is. But like I said,” the dance-pop diva reiterated, “I am not offended at all, but my vagina might be a little bit upset,” she added.

The singer has been flaunting her naked body in various magazines since the rumors began, hoping to disprove that she may have both man and lady parts, but we all know what a little Photoshop can do.

What do you think? Is Lady Gaga telling the truth or just deny, deny, denying?

My reply? Who gives a damn? Sorry, I could care less what she’s packing, and besides, what’s the difference? Are people saying if GaGa was a hermaphrodite that they wouldn’t be fans any more? Why, can’t a hermaphrodite be a diva too?

This story oddly peaked my interest and I decided to look more into GaGa’s music, since I wasn’t too familiar with it, and I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. What I discovered wasn’t much. I found an ok looking gal who loves to dress in kooky outfits and writes some really lousy songs.

GaGa is going the ol’ shock diva route because she basically needs those costumes and stage performances to hide her lack of talent. Her audience needs a lot of distractions. And now that she has a following, he crappy songs wont’ matter as much.
 
Her voice and song style comes pretty close to Madonnas, although Madonna’s songs were better written. Now I am not a fan of Madonna’s either, but nobody can deny that when Madonna blew up big in the 80’s that she was at least original and her songs were much better than GaGa’s. 

I have to say, that some of GaGa’s outfits are very cool, I will at least give her that. I love the way she sometimes meshes a vintage look with wackiness and forms some pretty outrageous get-ups. BUT…is that it? Yes, that’s it.

Let’s not forget this has been done a hundred times over in the music biz, and way before she strapped on that bubble suit for the cover of Rolling Stone.

Performers have been making names for themselves via shock for years. Way back when, Liberace was one of the first shockers and was the king of outlandish outfits. He was one of the first pioneers of  “putting on the dog“.

Although Liberace’s voice was far from good, he did play a mean piano. And look at Elton John, who started out as sort of a meek country bumpkin and ended up going all Liberace on everyone, once fame came knocking on his door.

Elton was not only an elaborate dresser, but he had quite the collection of outrageous glasses, which became a signature for him. So was Elton copying Liberace? It really didn’t matter, because he can sing and play piano to boot.

There was David Bowie who dressed up as Zigggy Stardust, and Cyndi Lauper who started an entire fashion craze with her gobs of costume jewelry, and her poofy crinoline slips.

But again like Elton, this girl can sing.

Take the band Kiss for instance, who was popular in the 1970’s. They rose up in the ranks due to their alter ego wild costumes, pyrotechnics on stage and Gene Simmons spewing blood and wiggling that long snake of a tongue. It was freaky to see a band dressed like that with full face paint back  in the 1970’s, and it was very innovative. (I was never a Kiss fan though, I think their movie ruined it for me *snicker*) But they did have some talent to back up their look.

Alice Copper, another unusual performer, used to hang himself on stage complete with an entire gallows set up on stage. He also would whip bloody plastic baby dolls on stage during his Dead Babies song… but again…Cooper had the talent to rock the house.

Let’s not forget Dee Snyder in Twisted Sister, ok… never mind, we can forget that one.

(Just have to mention, and way off topic, but I think Christina Aguilera definitely stole Dee’s look when she did the video for Moulin Rouge).

And what about Boy George? He started out rather tame with Culture Club (well sort of) and then showed up in an airport one day dressed like a Geisha girl, and got more outrageous from there. But nobody can deny that the man possessed decent set of pipes on him. We won’t get into where he is today.

Back to Madonna…
But wait, there’s more…

The Big Bang Theory, no I am not talking about ”a cosmological theory holding that the universe originated approximately 20 billion years ago from the violent explosion of a very small agglomeration of matter of extremely high density and temperature”. (Thanks Wiki)

I am talking about the CBS hit show about a bunch of geeks that nabbed the TCA (Television Critic’s Award) this past summer.

Yes geeks have been cool for quite a while now and the word geek has received some long awaited respect. Who can forget Revenge of the Nerds? 
Nerds really became popular for a while there. That is, I should say MOCKING them was popular. Many people dressed us as Nerds for Halloween parties and I even came across a Revenge of The Nerds Cruise!

Times have changed, and nerds or geeks, (which ever you prefer) have been totally reinvented since the Revenge of the Nerds movies. Geek seems to be the popular term now over nerd. They are no longer portrayed nearly as geeky as before. The days of bullying and being beat up are long gone. (well a t least in the movies and on TV) It’s no longer the norm to show a geek with tape on their eye glasses, pants hiked up to their nips and sporting a pocket pen protector.

Yep, geeks finally have their much deserved recognition. Not only in Hollywood, but in the real world too.

Geekdome even hit reality show status with Beauty and the Geek, and let’s not forget the geeks on the TV sitcom Chuck where they run the fictitious ”Nerd Herd” at  the “Buy More”.

In real life, Geek Squad and Rent a Geek company cars can be seen scurrying on their way to fixing people’s computers in many states.
Years ago, it would have been considered rude or a joke to name your business with the name geek or nerd in the title and have it blazed all over the company cars.
But now more than ever, geeks and nerds are respected for their smarts and it has become the new sexy.

The Big Bang Theory’s geeks certainly fit the new criteria of geeks. Although their clothes and personalities are not de-geeked completely, their look is nowhere near the full blown high water pants  and taped glasses stereotype and they don’t laugh like braying donkeys.

I have to say, I just plain adore  this show. The cast members mesh so well together.

The show is based around it’s two main geek characters in their twenties and also their neighbor Penny played by Kaley Cuoco.
Dr. Leonard Leakey Hofstadter is played by Johnny Galecki and Dr. Sheldon Cooper is played by Jim Parsons. Their character’s MO’s are two Caltech prodigies and their ditzy neighbor Penny who is a waitress at the local Cheesecake factory.
Leonard and Penny had a little thing going on and went on a date.

The classic beauty and the geek strikes again. But their date was a disaster and their brief affair fizzled out. Although… Leonard’s and Penny’s little tryst is far from over, as the show clearly hinted in it’s season finale. We will get to that later.

Leonard and Sheldon have some super geeky buddies that visit, hang out and eat nothing buy Chinese food in their walk up apartment with the constant broken elevator which is located in Pasadena. I’ll tell you one thing, if they ate as much Chinese food in real life as they do on the show, I think the cast would be sporting some serious moobs and spare tires and would be candidates for Celebrity Fit Club.

Their buddies of course are also total brainiacs.
My favorite geek is Howard Wolowitz played by Simon Helberg. On the show he still lives at home with his Mom. His fashion sense is hysterical in his 1960’s threads, complete with big kitschy belt buckles.
He portrays a corn ball loser with the gals and he is just plain hilarious. There is a great video on Youtube that  has some real classic Wolowitz clips.

His bed (in his bachelor pad) at his Mom’s house has black satin sheets, red fur blanket and leopard print pillows. But he also has some geeky collectibles here and there in his room of course.

His Mom who you never see, and only hear is played by Carol Ann Susi. Who has had a very long and impressive career on television.
Her character of playing an over bearing Jewish Mom with a raspy accent and how she treats Wolowitz like a ten year old, is just a riot.

Over the years there were many people in comedy you never got to see or hear. Like Norm’s wife Vera in Cheer’s, Nile’s wife Maris in Frazier, or even more recently Dr. Kelso’s wife and his gay son in the TV comedy Scrubs, just to name a few. Even though you never got to actually see these people, fans formed their own mental picture of what they looked like.

Speaking of which…I don’t want to spoil it for Big Bang fans, so if you don’t want to see the real Mrs. Wolowitz, close your eyes, because the next picture is of the lovely Mr’s Wolowitz , known on the Big Bang Theory for her brisket that melts in your mouth.

Although Mrs. Wolowitz’s better half, Mr. Wolowitz has not been mentioned on the show as of yet, rumors have it that Beatles Ringo Starr may be doing a cameo as Wolowitz’s Dad. YES RINGO STARR. With Wolowitz’s big snoz, it totally makes sense. Wolowitz can definitely pass for a child of Ringo Starr who was also known for his big snoz. I hope that rumor turns into a reality. It would be hilarious.

Now Wolowitz had a couple of brief encounters with Leslie Winkle, Ph.D played by Sara Gilbert.

Fact… Many people may not remember that Sara Gilbert’s boyfriend David on Roseanne was none other than Johnny Galecki who plays Leonard on the Big Bang. Also Laurie Metcalf, who played Jackie on Roseanne, did a few cameos and played Sheldon’s mother.

Sheldon, the star of the show, whose charachter idolizes Star Trek is played by Jim Parsons. Sheldon is socially inept, and an over all finicky pain in the butt who is a giant laugh and a half.

Jim won the well deserved award for individual achievement in comedy this past summer.
Oddly enough when Jim accepted his award for his genius contribution to the show, (no pun intended) he sounded an awful lot like his character Sheldon. I got a big kick out of that.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to memorize his script which is loaded with physicist jargon that would make any one’s head spin. He also has the uncanny talent of spewing out his very difficult lines at breakneck speed like a well oiled machine gun.

I wondered if Sheldon’s scientific sputum was in fact mumbo jumbo or if it had any validity behind it. After all, he plays a theoretical physicist. 

Since everyone knows how people love to challenge a shows’ ability to get it right, I looked into it and found out they actually went to a real physicist and consulted him on not only the script, but also the props and diagrams used in the show.
They explain on wiki:

“David Saltzberg, a professor of physics and astronomy at the University of California, Los Angeles, checks scripts and provides dialogue, math equations and diagrams used as props. According to executive producer/co-creator Bill Prady, “We’re working on giving Sheldon an actual problem that he’s going to be working on throughout the first season so there’s actual progress to the boards … We worked hard to get all the science right.”

Hmmm, smart cookies… since any geek who tunes into this show will certainly be watching with a very discerning eye and would jump at the chance to disprove or argue any incorrect data found.

Back to the cast.
That leaves us with last but not least the meek Dr. Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali played by Kunal Nayyar. His character is unable to talk to women unless he drinks. He wears mismatched clothes and tries to talk hip and talks to his parents in India via we cam every now and they totally disprove his lifestyle. Koothrapali, like all the others is a sheer delight to watch.
All together these characters meld into one hell of a show.

But who is the real genius behind the show besides it’s talented and brilliant writers?

The Big Bang Theory is the brain child of Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. 
Lorre was interviewed by GeekHeeb at Comic-Con, and it was posted on the Jewish Journal:

GeekHeeb caught up with series creator Chuck Lorre (“Two and a Half Men”) and actor Simon Helberg at Comic-Con to discuss the show’s Jewish characters: Howard Wolowitz, a Caltech engineer/ romantic loser who still lives at home with his never-seen, overbearing Jewish mother, known only as Ms. Wolowitz.

Lorre says that Wolowitz is based on his own Jewish background as well as that of Helberg.
While Wolowitz’s mother (played by Carol Ann Susi) has more than made her presence known (even if we don’t see her), we have yet to hear from Mr. Wolowitz.

The Big Bang Theory went through a real rough patch when they were hit with the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike and had to halt production. Whew! Glad everything worked out.
Thankfully the show is back in full swing and has been picked up for both 2010 and 2011.

The season premier is slated for Sept 21st, and it picks up where the end of season two left off.
Sheldon is approached by the Dean of the University and asked to hoof it up to the Arctic for a three-month mission to prove the validity of string theory. Naturally all the guys are convinced to join Sheldon, even though he is impossible to live with in his apratment, never mind a tiny shack in the Arctic.

Penny knitted a scarf and hat for Leonard and gives it to him before he leaves along with a snuggie. Of course Leonard still has feelings for Penny and asks what the gesture meant, and Penny says “to keep you warm”, but then goes into her apartment and behind the door says “It means I wish you weren’t going”. Awwww.

The new season’s teasers are showing Penny lunging at Leonard and giving him a big kiss on their return. So the plot thickens…
The guys are shown with big bushy heads and beards from their stint up North and it looks like the season premier is going to be killer.

The theme song for the show was written and sung by the Bare Naked Ladies.

The show just oozes cool hilarity.If you haven’t had the chance to see The Big Bang Theory yet, free up your Monday nights.
If you don’t, you are really missing out on some serious dopamine level increases and some multiple endorphine releases.
And that’s about as scientific as I get.

Marilyn Monroe died in 1962. She lies at rest at the Westwood Village Memorial Park in Los Angeles with other great celebrities such as Dean Martin, Roy Orbison, Truman Capote, Natalie Wood, and recent arrival Farrah Fawcett, just to name a few.

The person buried directly above Marilyn is Mr. Richard Poncher. His last request was to be buried FACING down looking at Marilyn Monroe. Yes I think that is pretty creepy but yet comical at the same time. Richard originally purchased the crypt from baseball great Joe DiMaggio. As you may or may not know, Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn and they divorced in 1954.

So when Richard passed, his wife Elsie went along with his wishes and made sure that he was buried as he requested.
Below, in the red sqaure is where Mr. Poncher’s crypt is, which is of course directly above Marilyn.

But Richard Poncher’s final request was about to change. You see Mrs. Elsie Poncher decided to put her hubbie’s crypt up for sale, so she can pay off her Beverly Hills mortgage which was supposedly over one million dollars. She turned to, who else… Ebay.  Now of course his wife wasn’t going to leave Mr. Poncher out on a patio like Aunt Edna in the movie Vacation. She already owned a crypt for herself which is only over one spot from Marilyn, and she has now decided to be cremated. So Richard won’t be too far away from Marilyn, just no longer looking down at her.

Some may find  that not honoring or changing someone’s last request (within reason), is a bit crappy. But I guess his wife thought it was a pretty smart move . Or shall I say it WILL be a pretty smart move, because the ending bid on Ebay, after 21 bids that just ended this past Monday, was a whopping $4,602.100.00!

So poor Mr. Poncher’s request of eternally facing Marilyn will shorty be over. But wait…. the top bidder who was from Japan said he didn’t have the cash after all. So the bid will go to the next highest bidder and so on and so forth until the the deal is sealed. So that will buy Mr. Poncher a little more time next to Marilyn for now.

There were eleven bids over 4 million, so out of the eleven bidders, I imagine someone will eventually come forward with the dough. If you look at the actual auction above, you can see the “No Returns Accepted” in the auction details. I found that pretty amusing. Although “Local Pick-Up Offered” had me scratching my head a little.

Someone else who wanted to be next to Marilyn was Anna Nicole Smith. Her wish has always been to be buried next to her idol Marilyn.

It was brought up in court:

Anna’s mother; Virgie Arthur and boyfriends Howard Stern and Larry Birkhead all commented and testified in court that Anna wanted to be buried in California next to Marilyn Monroe. Virgie added, “She wanted to be buried with the stars.” Howard said he researched the possibility of burial alongside Marilyn, but the cost was an issue. Howard agonizes over money in the most clever ways, doesn’t he?
Anyhow, regardless of court testimony, burying Anna next to Marilyn was never even a remote possibility because of no space, that is, unless Hugh Hefner were to yield his, or somebody move out.

Shame this auction happened so late. Maybe Anna could have got her wish. It seems only fit that Anna Nicole should be laid to rest next to her idol? Maybe some day that will finally happen.

Will others jump at the chance to sell their loved one’s crypt on Ebay if they are near Marilyn? Maybe now that they have seen how much money can be made.

But who owns the crypts surrounding Marilyn?

A Genevieve Haney (if I read the name correctly from a picture) is below her, and to the right of Marilyn is Bruce Fred Fisher Jr. who was there before Marilyn. To the left of Marilyn is Hugh Hefner’s future crypt which he paid a pretty penny for not too long ago.
Fact: Marilyn was his first Playboy Playmate.

Maybe Heff will be struck with a surge of kindness and let Anna have his spot. It would be a very gracious gesture if he did. (and great publicity, not that he needs it)

If you want to know who ALL the stars are resting at this cemetery, go here for a list. It is a VERY impressive list at that. This cemetery is open to the public and anyone can visit. People are dying to get in there. Sorry.. I couldn’t resist.

Seriously… all are free to visit, which is pretty darn cool. It is located on1218 Glendon Avenue,Westwood, CA.

If you are lucky, maybe you will get to see Mr. Poncher getting moved to his FINAL? resting spot.
I wonder if Mr. Poncher will haunt his wife for changing his view?

Well I hope not, and if I was him I would keep quiet. If his wife doesn’t stay out of debt, who knows where Mr.Poncher may end up next? *snicker*