Wake Up Courtney! Time To Go To Court!

Courtney Love.
Just the name conjures up the feeling of Ewww.

Courtney has her knickers in a bunch (when are they not in a bunch?) over the way Activision used ex hubby Kurt Cobain’s image in Guitar Hero 5.

The agreement was to supposedly have Cobain sing only two songs in the game, which of couse incuded “Smells Like Teen Spirit“.  But Cobain’s character in the game is an unlockable character.

Cobain Ala Activision

For all you non gamers out there, an unlockable character means the gamer can make the image do other things. Like sing other performer’s songs.

So Love and former Nirvana band mates, David Grohl and Krist Novoselic, were not too tickled when they found out that Cobain is singing songs by Jon Bon Jovi and Bush in the game. (the band Bush that is, not Dubya, although that would be a riot)

Ex Nirvana band members were quoted about their dismay:

“While we were aware of Kurt’s image being used with two Nirvana songs, we didn’t know players have the ability to unlock the character,” they said.
“This feature allows the character to be used with any kind of song the layer wants. We urge Activision to do the right thing in ‘re-locking’ Kurt’s character so that this won’t continue in the future.”

Courtney called the avatar “vile” and “necrophilic” and Twittered:

” This Guitar Hero shit is breach of contract. I think Kurt would despise this game alone let alone this avatar.. We are going to sue the shit out of Activison”

When it comes to vile and necrophilic. Ms Love takes the cake.
We all know how vile she can be. And someone would have to be into necrophilia to be attracted to her these days.

As of late, Love has been looking mighty bad. The recent photo below, shows her beyond scrawny and way up there on the “Ewwww” scale.

Love Looking Like Death Warmed Over

 
I think it’s pretty cool that Activision agreed to include Cobain in their game at all. Love and ex band members should be thankful that Activision is keeping his memory and Nirvana’s music alive.

The ex band members are asking Activision to come up with a patch, so Cobain’s character stays locked. Fair enough, but a computer geek friend told me it can’t be done once the game is out. Don’t know if this is totally correct.

Love has her lawyer, Keith A. Finch on the case and he seems to think she indeed has a case.

Finch said,
“Activision was not given an unbridled right to use Kurt Cobain’s name and likeness. As for Cobain, his journals suggest that he’d be less than pleased about a game that shows him belting out “You Give Love A Bad Name”.
Writing about Bon Jovi in the late 1980’s, he issued a one word review: Evil.”

Well, I am not a fan of Bon Jovi myself, but I think the word evil to describe them is a bit silly and over the top. I am sure if Cobain was still alive today, I think his opinion would have matured a bit.

Besides, Nirvana was nothing to write home about. Nirvana themselves weren’t some ultra fabulous band. They were nothing more than a 90’s garage grunge band that literally “stepped in it”. And don’t even get me started on Love’s band “Hole”.

But hey, that’s my taste. Obviously if Nirvana sold over twenty-five million albums in the US, and over fifty million worldwide, they were very much admired.

But why some people continue to think that Cobain was some sort of iconic rock God is beyond me. He was a junkie who had a very short career, a raspy nothing voice and he had an average band. He met Love in 1990, they got married in 1992, and Cobain shot himself in 1994. (supposed self inflicted gun shot wound)
Many people blame Love for Cobain’s untimely demise. I guess we will never actually know the truth.

If you are driving around Aberdeen, Washington, you will see a sign which reads, “Welcome To Aberdeen Come As You Are”, which was purchased by the Kurt Cobain Memorial Committee back in 2004 as a tribute to Cobain. If you are not famaliar with Nirvana’s music… “Come As You Are” is of course one of their songs.

Let’s also not forget that Love and Cobain had a daughter, Francis Bean. I am sure her life has been far from enchanted due to her father’s death and her whacked out mother. 

So back to the lawsuit…
Ms. Love is not a stranger to lawsuits by any means. That is, people suing HER of course.

She was recently sued this past May by American Express for not paying $350,000 in charges. (gee I thought my card was bad)

Contactmusic.com wrote:

COURTNEY LOVE is facing a legal battle with American Express over the credit card company’s claims she has racked up more than $350,000 (£233,000) in unpaid charges.
The firm filed suit against Love in the U.S. District Court on Wednesday (27May09), demanding the rocker pay off the staggering debt on her Gold card.

The former Hole frontwoman had her plastic privileges suspended after she “failed and refused” to clear the balance, according to the lawsuit.
Love has been continuously struggling with her finances in recent years – it emerged in April (09) she had hired a team of private investigators to reclaim the millions of dollars she alleged were stolen from her late husband Kurt Cobain’s estate.
And just last year (08), Love was sued for $1 million (£667,000) by London & Co., an accounting firm which charged the star had failed to pay them profits from the sale of Cobain’s share of the Nirvana publishing catalogue.
A spokesperson for Love was unavailable for comment as WENN went to press.

 
Well, isn’t that interesting? She has two huge companies suing her.
Doesn’t stop there…
She also is being sued by her former body guard for $60,000.

TMZ wrote:

It costs a lot of money to keep the world safe from Courtney Love – her former bodyguards say she stiffed them out of $60,000 this year.

Screen International Security Services filed a lawsuit today in L.A. County Superior Court, claiming they provided “security services, in connection with the protection of Love, her family members, and her property” between April and August of this year.

SISS says Love never paid a penny for services rendered — totaling $58,222.50 — and are suing for the full amount plus interest.

Love’s attorney just sent us the following statement:

“This lawsuit should be placed in the Wikipedia page next to chutzpah. It has no merit and is based on a private security company’s attempt to fleece a celebrity.

SISS is claiming it is owed money for providing around the clock security for Ms. Cobain and her daughter at the St. Ives home for a period of time she and her daughter were NOT living at that home but were living at the Chateau Marmont. SISS has no written agreement with Ms Cobain to support their claim and on its face it is ludicrous.”

SISS was paid a substantial sum for the “service” it provided while they were living at that home. Despite knowing that Ms. Cobain and her daughter had moved out of the home they continued to provide security to an empty home by having someone sit in a car all day eating a ham sandwich while the Cobains were residing miles away!!!

AND her snarkiness doesn’t end there.
In 2007, Love was also quoted as saying,

 “I’m going to have a Christie’s auction,” to hock the bulk of Cobain’s belongings with a portion going to charity.”

I don’t know if this auction ever took place, I couldn’t find anything else about it.”

So do you think Love is really upset over this whole Guitar Hero thang? Or is she looking for some quick cash in all the wrong places? (see what I did there?)

Her lawsuit with Activision is starting to “smell like ”GLEAN” spirit to me”. *snicker*

Seems to me, that she has been living off Kurt’s fame and money for years, and doesn’t plan on stopping.
The lyrics from her song, “Celebrity” say it all.
“Use Once and Destroy“.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for performers getting credit where credit is due. And if there is a huge copyright issue, then it should be dealt with.

I think Cobain being included in Guitar Hero 5 was a compliment and an honor to both Cobain and the remaining members of Nirvana. And now Cobain will be forever immortalized in the gaming world. If gamers want to be more respectful, I guess they can always choose for Cobain to only sing the two songs by Nirvana. Easy solution. Those who don’t care, will have him wailing Bon Jovi.

As far as Courtney Love?  
What about your daughter Francis Bean Courtney? 
Doesn’t she deserve better?
Clean up your act and grow up woman.
And for God’s sakes, wash your hands and clean those damn fingernails!

Love’s Fingernails Looks Like She Clawed Her Way Out Of A “Hole”

It’s like some kind of precognition or something. Just this morning I was thinking about what it means to grow old with dignity, then for some odd reason, I thought of Pam Anderson and I figured “Hey, as long as I do the opposite of Pam, I am gold.”

Then I saw these pictures of the not-aging-well pin-up and thought how kind it was of Pam to give all women of the world a little ego boost. We can all point to Pam, regardless of how unattractive we may be individually, and say “Well, at least I look better than that.” Remember when Pam Anderson was the epitome of sexy icon? Now she’s like a caricature of all things gross and icky.

It’s not that she’s fat, she’s just really out of shape and wearing clothes far too small for her sagging frame. It’s not that she’s old, it’s that she refuses to accept her age and continues to cake on makeup like some kind of demented circus clown, without realizing it merely accentuates her prematurely lined and wrinkled face. Too much hard living will do that. Take note Lindsay Lohan, this is your future if you don’t get your shizzle together.

Pam, you have no shame, you never had class, you attention whoreish ways have lost their luster, and your empty shell of a soul continues to hop from one loser guy to another leaving a path of destruction in your wake. You clearly refuse to ever look at yourself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. You are like an accelerated Paris Hilton. And that is NOT a compliment. Used up and without a clue. You are only 41 years old, yet you look twice that age.

I realize it’s none of my business how your conduct your deteriorating life, but have some damn dignity. Your children are still young enough to need good role models, but instead they have you and Tommy Lee. We don’t typically like to be so cruel here at Glosslip, but honestly, your whole shtick is way beyond it’s expiration date. This is public service we are performing.

Now, go home, get some rest, bathe, throw out whatever controlled substances you use to drown the pain and above all, scrub your face. In other words, act your damn age.

You’re welcome.

(for more vomit-inducing pics, go to dlisted.com, but bring a barf bag.)

Joss Stone is not top on my list of musicians. She seems quite contrived, she tries too hard, she’s not Janis Joplin and last, but not least, she apparently uses her feminine wiles in exchange for hit songs. So right off the bat, she gets a thumbs down and a wet raspberry from me. So it was with great sadness I heard that hotass mo, rapper Nelly is dating this “alleged” musical depository.

See Nelly and I have a special relationship. He writes hip-hop/rap music that a rhythm-less white person like myself can enjoy and appreciate, he takes his shirt off for gratuitous shots of his most sexy bod and in general, he seems like a really nice sort of guy. Nelly’s sister, Jackie died of leukemia in 2005, despite Nelly’s greatest efforts to find bone marrow donors to save her life through a foundation he set up, “Jes Us For Jackie“. Nelly and sister were close and her death hit him really hard.

Perhaps in his extended grief, he has lost his mind, because according to HolyMoly (via Dlisted), Nelly has been dating Joss Stone.

Here’s more from HolyMoly!:

Soul singer Joss, affectionally known to some as, ‘will f*ck for tracks’ Stone, is reportedly dating rapper Nelly. Joss, who was recently rumoured to have offered more than just her voice to producer Mark Ronson, (which he later denied) has apparently been on a number of dates with the man responsible for ‘Hot in Herre.’

Joss had previously joked (although she doesn’t look like she has much of a sense of humour) that she may become a lesbian because of the trouble she was having finding a man. But surely a woman would find her just as annoying.

Joss had said:

“Every girl my age wants to be in a relationship. I haven’t had one in two years. I think I’ll have to turn lesbian.”

But that was before Nelly came along, the lucky sod. A source said:

“Joss and Nelly have been out on a few dates together. It’s early days but we haven’t seen Joss this happy in quite a long time. It’s great she has met someone as successful as she is and who understands the pressures being a performer can put on your life.”

And also the pressure of not being as successful as you once were.

The source continued:

“And it helps that he is hot too – he is just her type.”

Well, he is in the music industry after all…

Look, anyone with the skillz to make her not look like a grasping for straws attention-ho she is, is her type. If she wants to bump nasties with Mark Ronson, Justin Timberlake and Tiny Tim, hey it’s all good, but back away from the Nelly little Miss Skanky-pants, I called dibs. And here’s a little something to savor, including some Tim McGraw for k

Sidenote: I wonder if Mark Ronson was referring to another soul singer named AMY WINEHOUSE. Although I would think he would have said “twitchy, crack-weaved cracksinger” instead of “boring, bland soul chick”. Those two did have a bit of a falling out over the Bond theme song a while back. And Amy’s known for falling down on penises other than her Blaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee!

Pamela “ma boobs are bigger than ma brain” Anderson is pregnant. I have no clue who the dad is, but it’s anyone’s guess at this point. According to TMZ, she’s not only pregnant, but is also going ahead with her divorce from third husband Rick Salomon. The couple were married in October and after 68 days of marriage Pam filed for divorce, only to retract her filing a couple days later stating she and Rick were “trying to work things out.”

Whatever, that poor kid is doomed, between Pammy’s hep C and Rick Salomon’s herpes the poor little baby doesn’t have a chance. Let’s pray for a miracle.

More importantly, didn’t Pam claim she was pregnant while married to Kid Rock and use this information to make him fly to Canada when she was filming that lame movie with Denise Richards, only to then lie and say she had a miscarriage/wasn’t pregnant to begin with or some such sh*t?

These people are such attention whores. And regular whores for that matter. How much you want to bet she isn’t even pregnant? Like a conception could possibly take place in a toxic waste dump!

Pam is one classy broad.

I don’t know who this Shauna Sands person is, but I saw this grim picture of a *mom* with her daughters out in public dressed like a hooker.

I have kids, I know it’s shocking, and I can tell you my oldest (and youngest for that matter) would NEVER let me out of the house dressed like a cheap prostitute. Both are under eight years of age and even in their youthful immaturity they would be able to recognize an absolutely embarrassing ensemble like this Shauna Sands person is wearing.

TMZ says she’s a Playgirl model. Is that a euphemism for “whore,” ‘cuz if it is, that’s a new one to me.

Gawd woman, dress like a decent human being when you are out with your kids. What kind of lecherous old pervs are you hoping to attract? Those shoes scream “I dance on tabletops for a living and let sweaty, lonely men put dollars in my panties.”

*rolls eyes*

I realize that Paris probably thinks she looks sexy in this Alice and Wonderland get-up, but if you look again, you can see Marilyn Manson trying to claw his way out of her diseased body. Come to think of it, those two would make a great couple: the Prince of Darkness and the Heiress of Whoreville.

More of Paris being an ass after the jump. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
But wait, there’s more…

I’m not even going to bother writing a post for this.  The clip speaks for itself.

Now, if you don’t mind, after watching this I have an appointment to get a shot.  I don’t know what kind, but it is the sort that should remove any sort of infectious disease I may have contracted from watching this clip.  And I also need a shower.  An hour-long, steaming hot shower, and I’m going to scrub with steel wool and Barkeeper’s Friend until my skin bleeds.  And then I’m going to rub antibacterial gel all over myself.  Yes, friends, after watching this I do feel just that dirty.

If I have any energy left, I may gouge out my eyes, because I never want to see this again.

You’ve been warned.

In today’s edition of Sweet Hollywood High, or as I like to call Skanky Whore High, Paris Hilton was the victim of teen torture #101: the prank phone call. In this case, what would be the cyber equivalent of having her number written on the boy’s bathroom wall, Paris’ private number was broadcast around the web when former Dancing With The Stars‘ Shanna Moakler posted the private information of both Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan on her Myspace page.

The end result was a barrage of prank calls flooding Paris’ cellphone. The good news is, ten strangers now know Paris in an intimate way, which if you think about it, is just a normal Friday night for the heiress. Well, okay, maybe it wasn’t ten, but I bet at least one of the prankers got a date with the heiress. She’s not terribly picky.

And why haven’t we heard from Lindsay Lohan about this incident? She’s too busy returning calls left in her voice mail. Yes, only she’s arrogant and stupid enough to believe that she has 10,000 friends who want to talk to her.

Moakler has defended her decision to post this information as part of her one-woman campaign to keep these home-wrecking hos away from her irresistible man, Travis Barker,  and her family.

But really, her decision is secondary to the fact that for a brief moment in time, the entire world possessed something only a stadium full of STD-infested crackheads possessed. And that’s what I like to call empowerment.

And sweet, sweet Karma!

 

There are many times when I am sure we are at the end of days. 

Like when Britney declared she was the Anti-Christ, or when Angelina Jolie became a saint, and when a song of Avril Lavigne’s hit #5 on the Billboard Hot 100.  These are things that humanity, in a decent and acceptable world, should not have to face. 

But alas, even these aforementioned societal crises are nothing compared to this news:  Babyshamble’s leadsinger and the world’s-most famous-crackhead Pete Doherty, and his toothead and guttermouthed-former-supermodel-girlfriend Kate Moss, are considering throwing their hat into the baby-making ring.

The prolific Starpulse is reporting that Petey’s uncle Phil Michels has the low-down on the couple’s plans to populate the earth:

“Pete and Kate are so in love – they’re talking about starting a family together. Pete is already a doting stepfather to (Moss’ daughter) Lila Grace, and loves spending time with her. They’re setting up home together at the moment, and once that’s sorted they’ll have a massive showbiz wedding.”

Pete, who’s already a father (who knew) has a son named Astile with his former girlfriend Lisa Moorish. And the fact that I didn’t even know he had a son says it all right there about what kind of dad he will make.

So there you have it. If you’ve been putting off buying that life insurance policy or taking that once-in-a-life-time vacation, wait no more.  Because I assure that if there were a G*d who cared about this world, it has abandoned us out of complete disgust – and we are on our own.

Avril Lavigne isn’t fooling anyone with her half-hearted attempt to take potshots a Britney Spears. 

Avril, barely a footnote in the pop music annals, has recently been using Britney Spears’ rehab troubles to make a name for herself and her flagging record sales (her new single “Girlfriend” can’t even be found on the Billboard charts).  In an interview for Sun (UK) Magazine, Avril had these nasty things to say about fellow pop-singer and hugely popular celebrity Britney Spears:

“What’s happened to Britney is all down to who she is as a person. If you want a piece of this business, you have to be able to deal with it. You can’t complain about the pressures, the paparazzi, the madness, because that’s the job.”

That’s a rich piece of tapestry coming from a young lass who was recently dealt a PR blow by spitting in the face of photographers and signing “F*ck You” to autograph-seeking fans.  Avril was later forced to give a half-assed apology – ostensibly to her fans – for the spitting, as it became evident that no one was buying her “tough chick” angst anymore.  Even more ironic, she had the nerve to imply that Britney couldn’t handle her liquor, unlike Avril who states that while she also drinks “no one really gets to know” [about it] – ‘cuz you know, Avril’s so damn discreet.
But wait, there’s more…