The internet is abuzz over a story involving young actress Thora Birch and her dad acting like a total jackhole on the set of her new film, Winter Of Frozen Dreams. Apparently while filming a sex scene, Thora’s dad and manager Jack Birch demanded to be present, despite standard procedure being a closed set for such types of intimate scenes. An insider on the set said this about Thora’s sex scene with actor Dean Winters:

“It was so wrong. The director is saying, ‘Harder! Faster!’ and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up.”

There’s also some concern over Jack Birch bullying the director Eric Mandelbaum about camera angles, and on the first day of shooting the sex scene the insider stated: “All of a sudden, the front door is being kicked in. Her father was threatening to kill the assistant directors. Then he threatens to pull her from the movie with three days of shooting left.”

Jack Birch’s demeanor is both bizarre and unpleasant, and he’s described as looking “like Charles Manson,” wearing a “full-length leather coat and wraparound sunglasses, even at night” and in a review for an old movie he did  “Road of Death” (1973) he’s described as “a muscle-stud . . . so unphotogenic you can’t take your eyes off him.”

Oh, and he’s an old school porn star who met Thora’s mother Carol Connors on the set of their claim to fame film “Deep Throat.”

So, really, if you think about it, having parents who are porn stars is like the equivalent to having parents who are serial killers.  All the notoriety you could want, plus they aren’t in jail.  Why anyone is surprised that her dad acts like a freaking pervert and a digusting pedophile is beyond me.  Chances are pretty good that he is one.  Scandal solved. 

Reports and pictures have been circulating that Paris Hilton has a new man ensnared in her toxic web of STD’s and vacant stares.  This time the hapless victim is “Desperate Housewives” actor Josh Henderson. 

What possible motive would anyone have for dating a whore like Paris Hilton?  And I am not using whore as some kind of euphemism.  Seriously, she’s a total whore with herpes,videos showing her screwing guys, flashing her skanky lady bits and she doesn’t wear underwear.  I realize that Hollywood’s “different” than the rest of the world, but even Hell has standards, and they wouldn’t want Paris Hilton down there scuzzing the place up, leaving slime trails and herp pox everywhere.

Maybe I am just not enlightened, but if you KNOW that someone has something as permanent as herpes and whose name has become synonymous with terms like whore, useless, talentless and retarded - why would you still date them?  For all intents and purposes, Paris Hilton should have been branded with a huge W and then forced to languish her days in the South Pole where penguins would use her to block the wind and wipe their poop on.  I am so confused.

 

Can you imagine two more insufferable jackasses than Lindsay Lohan and Jude Law? Oh yeah, I suppose Paris Hilton and Gene Simmons, or Russell Crowe and Courtney Love? Perhaps even my racist Uncle Lou and his homophobe wife Judy. But that’s pretty much it.

Yep, two sluts like Jude Law and Lindsay Lohan shouldn’t be allowed to even share the same air, let alone swapping DNA, but alas, my idea of world peace and tranquility is not shared by the chaotic theory of hook-ups that is Hollywood.

Page Six reports that while Lindsay was in NYC this past weekend “she called Jude at 1 in the morning and met him at The Box, and the next night she joined he and his pals Sean Penn and Tim Robbins at The Box again.” A witness observed them “adoring each other’s company.” Lindsay’s rep Leslie Zelnick had no comment, and Law’s rep Simon Hall said, “We don’t comment on our client’s personal life.”

So is The Box some kind of euphemism for Lindsay’s vagina? Because I have to tell you, that’s not even subtle. I mean she might as well have called him and said “Hey Jude my vagina has a vacancy at approximately 1 am and I can fit you in. I can also fit in the LA Lakers, the Dallas Cowboys and the entire cast of Grey’s Anatomy, but the fire department said I would exceed my maxium occupancy and they’d have to shut ‘er down. Can I pencil you in?”

And would any of that deter Jude? Hells no, he’s slept with Sienna Miller and let’s face it, there are turnpikes with less mileage.

While I try really, REALLY hard to hide my disdain for certain celebrities, I just have to say that I hope the STD that emerges from this unholy union is enough to disintegrate their genitalia leaving them with burnt craters in their nether regions.

For images of Lindsay and Jude’s box and peeper pre-explosion click over. But prepare to laugh until you cry.

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This is either the greatest news on earth, or the greatest failure of mankind.

According to this story, AP entertainment editor, Jesse Washington, sent an official memo to staffers banning any stories about Paris Hilton from running on the wire service,”barring any major events.”  The story ran in the New York Observer and Washington is quoted as saying:

“There was a surprising amount of hand-wringing. A lot of people in the newsroom were saying this was tampering with the news.” Washington added that one editor’s response was: “This is a great idea — can we add North Korea?”

I wonder what they would consider a major Paris Hilton event? Like Paris bursting into flames after her vagina finally exploded from too much friction and herpes outbreaks? Or, if she were consumed by a angry swath of photogs on their way to Anna Nicole’s funeral?  What if Paris, overcome by philanthropic ectasy, adopts an abandoned orphanage in Africa overflowing with disease and squalor?

I don’t see why this is news, some sites have tampered with news stories concerning Paris Hilton since they received their last payment, theatening letter, ego-stroking obligatory correspondence from the heiress.

Worry not Paris Hilton faithfuls, this is one site that will not bow to the pressure of mainstream media.  I will not be bullied into suppression.  My mind is a steely oasis against conformity and I will carry the mantle of free speach like Ms. Liberty herself.  Because I am nothing, if not a slave to my passion for truthful journalism.  And porn.  I like that too.

From the geniuses at WWTDD.

YOU BITCHES BETTER BUFF FASTER OR I’LL BE BUSTING SOME SKULLS!

TMZ is reporting that rapper/singer Foxy Brown was arrested once again, this time on “battery and obstruction of justice” charges on Thursay by Broward County police, for charges stemming from an altercation at a Pembroke Pines beauty supply store. Last year Ms. Brown (Inga Marchand) was arrested in New York and sentenced to three years probation and anger management classes for assaulting two nail technicians, and was ordered to stay away from the technicians for five years.

I’ll tell you what, homegirl isn’t playing. You better get her polish smooth and shiny or she will shank your ass. For reals.

 

I saw this picture on Janet Charlton’s Hollywood, a site which can only be described as a “back alley tabloid,” dirty, but dangerous.  So as you can imagine, I like it. 

My first thought was, ‘Oh look, James Woods is out with his granddaughter.’  And then it hit me, like a crowbar to the frontal lobe - that’s his 20-year-old girlfriend Ashley Madison.  First of all, her name alone screams “I was born in the 80’s and my parents are enormous assholes,” (no offense to anyone with either of those names - if you have both though, screw you) it also happens to be the name of a site that helps married people find people to have sex with. Ta-da! Second of all, her face is fug a hundred ways to Sunday, which by the way, is the same number of ways that Woods has soiled this ho. 

I don’t mean to be all judgmental and whatnot, but Woods is 60 and this piece of gold-digging trash is 20, and if you add that up, that means she’s a whore and he’s a child molestor.  As I recall, they met through a friend of his when she was 18.  He supposedly has like a 20-foot wang so most likely she’s next in line to play the Lincoln Tunnel.  Either way, I want to kick him in the ballsack and give her a swirly in a truckstop restroom.

All of Hollywood needs to be launched into the sun.

Oh sweet mother of mercy could all my dreams of hope, happiness and hypocrisy finally be coming true?

Is it possible that the backlash and furor over Paris Hilton caught on tape using racial and bigoted remarks be enough to crush her, once and for all? It seems there is a movement mounting to have her lose her lucrative product endorsement contracts over her use of words beginning with “n” and some ending in “aggot” that are hurtful to African Americans and those seeking to enjoy a peaceful and hate-free alternative lifestyle.

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This is going to be a regular feature here on Glosslip and we are hoping someday there will be more than six of you reading the site, so in the meantime, you six go crazy voting!

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