Palin Relaxing With Her Snuggie

Sarah Palin has written a book called Going Rogue.
It hits book stores today.
It’s being called a memoir of her life.

I’m sorry, a memoir? It’s not like she has this great history behind her life as a hockey Mom and ex Governor of Alaska. And certainly her political career has been beyond laughable.

So the question now is…
will Palin’s book end up on the bestseller list? Or go over like a fart in church?

Besides the obvious that will plague this book, (Palin’s lack of popularity) I read that her book was ghostwritten by Lynn Vincent. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!
Why you ask? Whos’ Lynn Vincent?

Lovely Lynn is not only the ghostwriter of Sarah’s book, she is pretty cozy with well known, white supremacist, Robert Stacy McCain (no relation to McCain the maverick) and she co-wrote a book with him. 

Some snippettes The First Post about Lynn and Robert Stacy McCain,

She (Lynn) is also staunchly anti-gay, backing the controversial vote to re-criminalise gay marriage in California, and – this is where Palin and her publishers might have drawn the line, but didn’t – she is closely associated with a well-known white supremacist.

He is Robert Stacey NcCain, a former editor at the Washington Times, a paper he left two years ago after a steaming row with a colleague.

Another Vincent collaboration was with a retired general, William Boykin, former head of the US Army’s Special Forces Command. He described his career mission as to defeat Satan in order to save America as a Christian country. “We are hated because we are a nation of believers,” he said.

“Defeat Satan to save America as a Christian country”?
Yikes! What year is this again?

As mentioned previously, Lynn is also a credited author on Robert Stacy McCain’s book, “Donkey Cons: Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party”. Again, just lovely.

According to a comment left on Little Green Footballs

After resigning as governor in late July, Palin spent most of August in San Diego working with Vincent on the book, “Going Rogue: An American Life.” Rumors swirled about Palin sightings at Vincent’s condo complex in north San Diego County. Palin reportedly was joined here by her family and top aide, Meghan Stapleton. This month, Palin huddled with her editors in New York.

So out of all the ghostwriters that Palin had to choose from, she picked Lynne Vincent? As always, Palin shows her brilliance. And to think that she ran for VP. *shudders*

What did Mark Halperin of Time have to say about Going Rogue?

Based on discussions with various sources who have seen or been briefed on the book’s contents, here’s what you can expect from “Going Rogue”:

* just five chapters—but they are very, very long.

* some score settling with McCain aides she believes ill-served her (names will be named).

* a hearty bashing of the national media.

* an account of how her upbringing shaped her maverick sensibilities.

* a testimonial to the importance of faith in her life.

* a warm and personal tone, written in Palin’s own voice, despite the involvement of a collaborator.

Two things not in the book:

* Don’t look for hefty policy prescriptions.

* Once source who has seen  “Going Rogue” says it does not include an index.  That would give Palin a subtle revenge on the party’s Washington establishment, whose members tend to flip to the back pages and scan for their own names. If they want to know what Sarah Palin has to say about them, they will have to buy the book—and read the whole thing.

Let’s recap, shall we?
She picked a ghostwriter who is anti gay, who is a creationist, and who has has teamed up with white supremacist Robert Stacy McCain.
There’s nothing in the book on policy. (well no surprise, she can’t write what she doesn’t know)
There are FIVE chapters in her book with NO index.
She bashes the media big time, even though they are the ones who put her on the map.
She throws people she once worked with under the bus, and adds a touch of holy rolling goodness.

WOW! COUNT ME OUT.

Now according to Comcast News,

Palin doesn’t elaborate on her book compensation, describing the $1.25 million figure only as a “retainer” that appears to be a reference to her lucrative advance.

So $1.25 big ones for a ghostwritten ”memior”?
Again… wow!

I think once the right wingers are done buying Palin’s crappy book, (Elisabeth Hasselback probably camped out at Barnes and Nobles last night) this book may be headed right for the bargain bin.

Although it would make quite the dandy door stop! Gotcha!

Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

What’s That I Hear? Trouble Knocking Once Again?

It wasn’t too long ago, that we reported that David Hasselhoff aka The Hoff  had once again fell off the wagon.

Who can forget Hoff in a drunken stupor laying on the floor eating a hamburger and his daughter Taylor filming the whole thing. In the  sad video, you can hear his daughter pleading with him and asking him to promise her that he will stop drinking.

Well I guess her wishes are trashed once again. As Hoff got totally trashed at Simon Cowell’s b-day bash recently.
He was SO trashed, that Hoff tried to punch his assistant because his assistant called for help. Hoff missed the assistant, and punched a doctor by mistake. He was then locked up in the hotel basement until the ambulance arrived.
Bravo Hoff! Way to go!

So I guess when he means don’t hassle the Hoff, you best not hassle the Hoff!

Eonline reported:

America’s Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff clearly has a talent…for bad publicity, if nothing else. According to reports, the Baywatch bruiser and popular-in-Germany crooner had too much to drink and slugged the doctor at his London hotel after returning from Simon Cowell’s birthday bash.

The semi reliable New York Post and the oft-dubious U.K. Sun report that Hasselhoff was actually trying to slug his assistant for calling the doctor. According to a source close to the actor, “David was furious and lashed out at him—but he mistakenly hit the doctor.”

The source added that, “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he…was becoming a real pain to the staff.”

Hasselhoff reportedly had to be locked in the hotel basement until an ambulance arrived, according to the Sun. He was later taken to London’s Capio Nightingale Hospital, where he reportedly spent two nights in a private room before being released yesterday.
Stay tuned.

“Stay tuned” for what?
There have been SO many reports of Hoff crawling back into that bottle. He was denied boarding a plane at London’s Heathrow airport a while back because he was so lit. Of course his reps denied he was drunk.

He was recently hospitalized because he was found dizzy and unstable. His reps again denied he was drinking and said that the rumors were “complete fabrications” and that Hoff was taking anti nausea drugs for recovering alcoholics.
Uh… sorry, I am not buying it.

To continually hear that Hoff is not getting any better is just sad. Hoff has a huge following, especially in Germany and I am sure his fans are rooting for him to kick that bottle to the curb.

There are also many Knight Rider fans out there. Too bad Kitt wasn’t around to tell Hoff to knock it off. Maybe he would listen to Kitt. Nothing else has worked.

I always thought Hoff was a big goofball, but of course I still wish him the best. He has two beautiful daughters who need him to be a responsible father. Or at least awake at the very least.
But so far, he continues to jump off the wagon.

So back to his recent escapade…

The superficial, another source wrote:

The bender began at the weekend when the US actor joined about 400 A-listers at X Factor supremo Simon Cowell’s posh birthday party. He got smashed and was escorted out of a side door and back to the hotel.
A source close to the star said: “David is very hard to handle when he drinks, often very emotional and aggressive. On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed – ruining two mattresses – and was becoming a real pain for staff. His assistant Joe Townley was so concerned he called out a doctor. David was furious and lashed out at him – but mistakenly hit the doctor.
“They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived.”

Well Hoff is definitely off my holiday party guest list this year. *snicker*

But seriously, Hoff’s reps can’t keep lying for him. It becomes more than obvious that he has not stopped drinking. You can only cry wolf so many times.

Hey Hoff, once again….
Please get your sh*t together. Climb back on that wagon, there is plenty of room.
If not for yourself, then at least do it for your two beautiful daughters.

No I am not talking about his bathroom habits or Britney.

It looks like K-Fed is a real dirty bird and may end up as a jail bird if he doesn’t pay up!

TMZ posted pictures on their website which revealed the total mess and supposed damage that K-Fed left behind when he moved out of his rental property in Tarzana Ca. Gee K-Fed, just because you lived in Tarzana, didn’t mean you had to live like Tarzan. *snicker*
 
So I guess it is a case of white trash, leaving trash. No surprise there.

Although TMZ may have exaggerated things a bit, the place did look pretty darn unsavory. Most of the pictures they posted were kind of boring though. *Yawn*
But we included the two pictures that made K-Fed look like a total slob.

Laundry Day At The Federlines?

Other pictures from TMZ were almost laughable, like a few tiles missing here and there, or paint wear on the cabinets with a few knobs missing.

There was one picture of an outdoor lamp that looks like there was a bird’s nest behind it. Not sure where they were going with that one. Did they think K-Fed built the nest? Oh that’s right, he is a dirty bird. *snicker*

Of course the mini fridge was pretty disgusting and there was a myriad of ciggy butts all over the property and a busted lamp and some chips in assorted things here and there.

So I guess collectively it must have looked pretty darn bad to the owners. So bad, that the owners are asking for over $100,000.00 in payback for repairs and back rent. Yup! K-Fed skipped out on SIX MONTHS rent. Whoopsy!

Popeater wrote:

One-time rapper Kevin Federline, aka “K-Fed,” is being asked to pay over $100,000 in unpaid rent and damages for a ransacked home, TMZ reports.

Aren’t the parents supposed to clean up after the kids? One-time rapper Kevin Federline, aka “K-Fed,” is being asked to pay over $100,000 in unpaid rent and damages for a ransacked home, TMZ reports.

K-Fed has been accused of trashing a Tarzana, California home where he lived until this past May. The owners also claim Federline disappeared unexpectedly without paying his last 6 months of rent.

The owners are demanding $110,661 in damages and unpaid accommodation. The list of what has been wrecked is as bizarre as it is exhaustive. Via TMZ:

- Cigarette butts and empty beer bottles filling the gutters,
- A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island,
- Cracked light covers,
- Mangled light posts,
- Cracked tiles,
- Drawings on the walls,
- Dead plants and trees due to failure to upkeep,
- Unapproved conversion of a room into a studio,
- Malfunctioning dishwasher with broken baskets,
- Smoke detectors that have been dismantled,
- Oil damage on the front driveway,
- Unapproved tinting of master bathroom windows,
- Missing garage door opener,
and the pièce de résistance
- Permanent spit marks on the exterior paint! No camels were reported on site.

The letter threatens to take K-Fed to court if he refuses to pay.

Federline, 31, is a dancer, rapper, fashion model and, ahem, actor. He was married to pop princess Britney Spears for two years before their highly-publicized divorce. They were also involved in an ongoing custody battle over sons Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline. There is no word about how clean the boys’ rooms are.

“Permanent spit marks” Huh? Maybe from chewing tobacco? Does K-Fed or his buddies partake in a little pinch between the cheek and gums? (that’s chewing tobacco for all you non-rednecks) if not, does spit actually stain paint? Ewww!

And lately, K-Fed has not exactly been the picture of health either, he is really packing on the pounds as you can clearly see.

I have read rumors that he was supposed to be on the upcoming VH1 Celebrity Fit Club Season 7, but then he denied those rumors.

But guess what? Celebrity Fit Club has just confirmed it.

Can it be that K-Fed is packing on the pounds on purpose so he can have a paying gig? It certainly looks that way to me. It seems awfully ironic that a person who has always looked very svelte, suddenly packs on the pounds and then is going to be on Celebrity Fit Club. Hmmm… I smell a rat.

Of course this is all speculation on my part. But I wouldn’t put it past Sean and Jayden’s baby daddy to supersize himself for the cash. Yes of course I know that the pictures prove he is portly now, but did he graze on food just so he can get on the show?

And if so… it further proves that reality TV has little reality.

He will also be appearing with his other ex, Shar Jackson as well as perpetual loser and Whitney Houston’s ex,Bobby Brown.

Egad, “Celebrity Fit Club” will do anything for ratings. Perhaps they can bring back Dustin Diamond (I hate Screech) with K-Fed and they can duke it out in the ring together. Now your talking ratings! I don’t know who I would root for. It’s  a toss up, but a double KO would be totally SWEET!

But seriously…

It’s time to grow up KEVIN. You’re over thirty, your career *cough* is toast, and your living like a slob. Your parenting skills have become pretty questionable now, (well, I should say have worsen) since you are not paying your bills and you turned a rental property into a total sh*t hole in your wake. Not cool when there are kids involved.

So to K-Fed… time to nut up or shut up.

Wow!  Just when I thought I was all done hearing about what a buffoon Bush is, and being tickled silly that this idiot is no longer our President, I hear that he snubbed J.K. Rowling, author of all the Harry Potter books because and get this… the books encouraged WITCHRAFT!

OMG!! Are you freakin’ kidding me?
Where was Bush’s head at? The Salem Witch Trials of 1692?

Gee, too bad stoning and hanging for suspicion of “witchcraft” was outlawed, hey Dubya?
I guess there’s always water boarding… oh wait, that’s right your veto on outlawing waterboarding thankfully failed. Sorry you out of luck Dubya!

Hey Dubya…. by the way…
Just how on earth does one encourage witchcraft from a children’s book, you dumb ass?
They weren’t written by Aliester Crowley for crying out loud!

Eonline wrote:

Noted Muggle/compassionate conservative George W. Bush was apparently a devout Harry Potter hater.

The former commander in chief wasn’t about to honor J.K. Rowling, the talent behind the book series, with the Presidential Medal of Freedom…and for quite the logical reason.

“People in the White House…actually object[ed] to giving the author J.K. Rowling a presidential medal because the Harry Potter books encouraged witchcraft,” writes former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer in his book, Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor.

That’s right. Good ol’ Dubya and his administration dissed the mega-selling British author, refusing to let her join the ranks of James A. Michener, Harper Lee and John Steinbeck. (Guess he figured the Secret Service could handle any Avada Kedavra curse flung his way.)

Bush distributed 81 medals during his time in office, mostly to war-related allies.

The medals went to mostly war-realted allies? Gee, why am I not surprised?

Now I am not outraged that this author didn’t receive a medal.
I am outraged over the REASON why she didn’t receive a medal.

Long winded rant alert!
Deep breath…..
If any of you right wingers out there need proof that Bush is an idiotic, over conservative, totally incompetent FOOL that was jointly responsible along with his bunch of deluded administrators for putting this country in a total cluster f*ck, (and I am being kind) then here’s some further proof of the total idiocy that enveloped the White House!

And in the sheer brilliance of George W. Bush …
Only one of many of his pearls of wisdom… and I quote:

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we”

Looks like Tawny Kitaen just can’t stay out of trouble.

Tawny aka Julie “Tawny” Kitaen starred in Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks back in 1984. She was also in a movie that she is probably not too proud of called The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak  aka Gwendoline in 1985 and then a horror flick, Witchboard in 1986.
Gwendoline was about:

” a 1985 erotic adventure based on a French comic strip. Stowing away on a China-bound freighter to search for her long-lost father, virginal Gwendoline (Kitaen) ends up in the clutches of randy sailors — till a daring adventurer (Brent Huff) saves her. Heading upriver to find Gwen’s dad, they soon crosses paths with the female warriors of the Yik Yak tribe.”

Wow! How she was able to get any work after that movie is pretty amazing. 

Tawny is most famous for her romp atop the hood of a jag in a video for Whitesnake. For all you youngins’ out there… Whitesnake was a big hair rock band back in the 1980’s.

The video she starred in was for their song “Here I Go Again” sung by her ex HUSBAND, lead singer. David Coverdale. (ick… sorry, he always grossed me out)
For a blast from the past, click here to watch a fuzzy version of her friskyvideo that guys are stil talking about today.

Her marriage to Coverdale only lasted a few years. And six years later in 1997, she married St. Louis Cardinals pitcher, Chuck Finley. They had two children Wynter and Raine.

Earlier Picture Of Much Happier Times

But trouble came knocking again when Tawny was arrested for beating Finely with one of her stiletto heels while he was driving and she was on the passenger seat.  MEOW!
Yeah, I know all the guys out there are probably thinking that sounds crazy sexy and hot. But sorry guys, it’s just crazy. And that little tiff could have killed the both of them.

Needless to say, three days later and not surprisingly, Finely filed for a divorce, which ended their five year marriage. And it’s also when the custody battle started for their kids.

Tawny continued her spiral down with continuing her addiction to drugs and alcohol. She starred in the sixth edition of Surreal Life and I remember watching that show. She really came off as quite the whack job. It was evident that she was high as a kite on that show. (well to me anyways)

She continued her reality show career on a stint with Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I also watched this show.

Tawny with Dr. Drew

She was totally different on this show compared to her behavior on the Surreal Life. I thought she was doing pretty good, by the end of the show and she also “graduated”. (of course we all know to take these shows with a grain of salt and that the reality part of these shows is pretty slim)

On VH1’s Celebrity Rehab website , it read:

 Tawny thanked fellow rehabbers for giving her hope, and friendship, something she really hasn’t had in the past.

I wonder what ex husband Finely thought about that statement?

Tawny then went on to an outpatient program in Newport Beach, so that she can be close to her family. Sure glad that she didn’t pick to go Scientology’s phony Narconon program and I hope she never does. Why am I mentioning Scientology? Because Scientology pounced on another rehabber from the show, Jeff Conoway when he left the show early.

Thanks to fellow Grease star, John Travolta. Travolta gave Conoway a whole library of Scientology books and the service of a Scientology ”auditor” who visited Conoway almost every day. Out of the pan and into the fire I say. Shame on Travolta for getting Conoway mixed up in the cult. Just utterly sickening.

Even though Conoway may have been tricked into thinking that Scientology actually helped him kick his addiction, their success rate for helping drug addiction through their Purification Rundown is actually like 6%. Not the trumped up numbers they lie about.

I haven’t heard anything further on Conoway and Scientology. I hope he dumped them like a lead balloon and finds some REAL help and without the cameras rolling this time.

Let’s hope the Scientology vultures keep their mitts off Tawny, as she would be the perfect candidate with her rocky past, her fragile state of mind and her addictions. Which to Scientology…Tawny would be “fresh meat” and prime for the picking.

So what is going on with Tawny now?
Well that brings us up to her latest escapade of getting pulled over for alleged  *snicker* DUI.

Eonline wrote:

Better get Dr. Drew on the phone.

Celebrity Rehab alum Tawny Kitaen was taken into custody Saturday afternoon near John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, Calif., on suspicion of driving under the influence.

The 48-year-old former actress/reality star allegedly “made contact with officers after operating a vehicle while under the influence,” according to Sgt. Shontel Sherwood of the Newport Beach Police Department.

Kitaen, who has also appeared on VH1’s The Surreal Life, was busted in 2006 on drug possession charges, after police found 15 grams of cocaine in her San Juan Capistrano apartment.

The Whitesnake music video babe struck a plea deal with prosecutors in which they agreed to drop the felony drug charges after she completed a drug treatment program.

Geez Tawny!
Two failed marriages, drug addiction, alcohol problems, busted for felony drug possession and two rehab failures. Yikes! Aren’t you done yet?

So I wasn’t too surprised when I saw that the LA Times reported this past March that she put up her house up for sale in Newport Beach with an asking price is $3.45 million. *shakes head*

Egad Tawny!
Get your sh*t together! You have two kids!
You have obviously ignored several GIANT wake up calls.
Save what’s left of your life and got off that roller coaster before you become a statistic.

If not for you, then do it for your two kids who deserve to have their Mom be there for them.

Every once in a while you read something that just makes you cringe and say, Oh come on!
This is one of those stories.

Apparently, Simon Cowell has written a letter, excuse me… a VERY LONNNNNNG letter to his younger self and it was published in the Daily Mail. I didn’t read all of it, because #1…. I have a life, and #2… it was just making me cringe so much I was getting a crick in my neck. And also one of my pet peeves is someone talking in the third person.

First off, who does this? 
Or if you are so silly to do so, do you have it published so everyone can say EWWWWW and think you are a total douche? Really, can Simon be any more full of himself?

Simon must have started at a very early age. The picture below is probably how Simon started out.

Simon Give Us Kiss Now.. You Handsome Dog!

He wrote this letter to himself because his 50th birthday is right around the corner on Oct 7th. I was speechless as I skimmed over the letter and just couldn’t believe what I was reading. We couldn’t post the whole letter here because it was beyond HUGE.

It’s best to read the entire letter yourself on the Daily Mail website.
The letter was entitled, “SIMON COWELL: A letter to my shallow, reckless, cocky younger self“.
I kid you not. Oh! Be sure to have a bucket handy. Click here and gag.

Eonline reported:

Simon Cowell’s Gone Soft (and Long-Winded) in His Old Age

Someone needs to pull the pen from Simon Cowell’s fingers.
While we love it when the crotchety American Idol judge decides to air his dirty laundry in public (that Susan Boyle botch list was a classic), is an absurdly lengthy diatribe really necessary?

On the cusp of his 50th birthday next week, Cowell wrote a letter to himself published in yesterday’s Daily Mail in the U.K. In it, he looks back on the past few decades, scolding himself for poor decisions he made in the ’80s and ’90s and patting himself on the back for the good ones.

It would be a good, self-deprecating, third-person about-face, but regardless of what he says, nearly 3,500 words makes for nothing but a puff (as in puff, the magic ego) piece.

“You are on a roll and you think the good times will last forever but, oh dear, Simon. You are so, so wrong,” he writes to the 1980s version of himself. “You look like a complete idiot…you are overconfident, far too cocky and dressed from head to toe in expensive designer gear…It hasn’t dawned on you yet, you idiot, that you can’t afford any of this stuff.”

Of course, Mr. Tight T-shirts takes it easy on himself for the final 1,000 words or so.

“I must say, despite everything, I’m quite proud of you, Simon,” he says. “You’re happy, you’re content and just incredibly grateful for where you are.”

Then he goes on to list what’s changed for him over the years—really important things like what he drinks and snacks on and how he doesn’t like to bum $5 from anyone. He pats himself on the back for never marrying because he’s such a workaholic, and for staying friends with his exes.

“Your job, Simon, was to make celebrities, not to become one yourself, dear boy,” he says. “Underneath it all, Simon, you are a realist. You don’t believe the hype about yourself. You can see what you do well and what you do badly. People think you are this Machiavellian character, forever plotting and scheming.”

He ends his diatribe as Hallmark would have intended—”So happy birthday! Love Simon”—although we’d hate to see the card size needed to print this self-loving loathing opus.

“Happy Birthday LOVE Simon“? I think I just threw up a little.

The definition for narcissism is as follows:

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
2. Psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
4. The attribute of the human psyche characterized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits

Well I am not sure if #3 applies to Simon, but it would not surprise me one iota!

His letter did remind me of a little poem from my grammar school days when people used to sign your autograph book when you graduated. The all so familiar ”roses are red” rhymes and those little clever ditties like “2 great, 2B, 4 gotten”.

No it wasn’t the “roses are red, violets are black, go sit on a tack“ rhyme that came to mind. (although it certainly would apply)

It was the following little poem, which I would like to dedicate to Simon on his upcoming 50th birthday….

You love yourself you think your grand..
You go to the movies and hold your hand.
You slip your arm around your waist…
And when you get fresh.. you slap your face!

With new reports of Cowell doing American Idol for another two years and also producing “The X Factor” in the US, he will be making over 100 million by this time next year. *shakes head*

It is quite obvious that he can care less that this letter to himself makes him look like a total conceited, pompous ass. Or maybe that is exactly what he wanted. His popularity seems to stay afloat by people loving to hate him.

Oh crap, I think I just contributed to that!
Touche’ Cowell!

The word is out.
Michelle Dugger of the reality show 18 Kids and Counting will be giving birth to her 19th child this March. The new baby will be joining Joshua, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer,and Jordyn.

The Duggers have been married since 1984. That means with number 19 on the way, she will have given birth to 19 kids in 25 years.

Ok, I’m sorry when does it start to get gross? Michelle, the human pinata has already had three C sections. Her belly must be like a ziploc bag.

MSNBC reported that she was surprised when she found out she was pregnant. After all, she had just given birth to a baby girl only eight months prior. She sure is quite the Fertile Myrtle. I wonder what is in the water out there in Arkansas?
Hey Michelle! You must have been absent from school the day the girls had the talk about their changing bodies.

Of course there is a reason behind Michelle’s disregard for her body and her poor kids who have to take care of all the other kids. It’s called Quiverfull. Not too many people are familiar with this Christian movement. They believe that one should be fruitful and multiply and believe that every child is a gift from Providence.
And from Wiki:

“The Christian quiverfull movement derives its name from Psalm 127:3-5, where many children are metaphorically referred to as a quiver full of arrows.”

Yeah ok… having that many children is from way back when parents needed children to work on the farms. This is 2009 Duggers.

People have the right to believe in what they want as long as it doesn’t  harm anyone, and I know they also has the right to have as many children as they want as long as they can care for them, but sorry, having 19 children is utterly ridiculous in this day and age.

It also reminds me of something…

Are the Duggers yet another family that will be exploiting their kids for the fame and fortune of reality TV? Jon and Kate Plus 8 comes to mind.
Although Michelle Dugger is not at all like Kate Gosselin as far as being materialistic or having Kate’s cheery disposition *snicker* but she isn’t any brighter either.

Gee, I wonder if Kate is a tad worried that The Duggers will be taking over the lime light in child exploitation. Well you know Kate, you can always have a few more! Cha-ching!

I happen to catch a bit of one of the Duggger shows and I couldn’t watch it. They were preparing to go on some sort of bus trip, and between the packing, the bathroom stops and everything else in between, it just made me cringe and shake my head. Although the kids seem surprisingly very well behaved compared to some reality show kids, *ahem*
It seemed like a total hardship on the Dugger kids who have to use the “buddy system” and constantly care for the rest of the Dugger brood. When do these kids get to be kids instead of being instant parents? They are all home schooled on top of it. Talk about sibling rivalry and wanting to get the hell out of the house!

Although some will argue that home schooling is the only way to go, I think kids miss out on a lot of social interaction and activities that you don’t get with home schooling. Yes I know they are on a show, and probably see lots of other people, and they mosey into town and do play with some other kids, but what about having BFFs? I cherish my childhood friends, and some of  my fondest memories are of school. I still keep in touch with many people I went to school with. You would think that the Duggers would want their children to have these precious memories too. Obviously not.
Perhaps Jim Bob is forming his own little cult?
 
And what about Michelle?

Doesn’t she want a break? Yeah I know it takes two to tango, and it is ultimately her final say as to whether or not she wants to go through with any more pregnancies. But is she being prodded? (ok, I know what you were thinking there, snicker) 
Is Jim Bob or anyone else putting dollar signs in her eyes? Well I guess either way, if she come out with a tell-all book, she will be raking in the dough. 

She already maintains a blog on TLC’s website. I guess having a bevy of built in baby sitters does have its advantages? I did check out her blog. She says she is exhausted and she had this to say about her current pregnancy:

“I thought we might be done. I was a little sad about it, but I just accepted it was a stage of my life and perhaps God felt my family was complete.I told Jim Bob right away, and he was so excited, he couldn’t hold it in. We told the children right then, and they were excited, too.”

A LITTLE  sad? I would have ripped my freakin’ hair out. And Jim Bob (yes that’s his real name, honest) was excited was he? If it was Jim Bob that had to go through labor, I think the Dugger family member count would have been about four, and would have stayed at four, including himself and Michelle.

On a more serious note. What about the dangers associated with having this many pregnancies?
According to CafeMom, getting pregnant repeatedly can have some huge and nasty repercussions.
Not to mention that the possibility of having a child with mental or physical problems greatly increases.

They asked three nurses and this is part of what they said:

Medically speaking, with each pregnancy, you have an increased risk for postpartum bleeding because your uterus doesn’t want to contract down to normal size. It’s been stretched for so long and so often, it tries to be stubborn. Another risk is for the bladder to prolapse, meaning it drops downward and can come out of the vaginal canal. To fix it, they have a new procedure that’s fairly easy, but a lot of GYNs don’t like to do it until  you are done having babies.

Just lovely.
Well let’s just hope Michelle’s bladder doesn’t fall out of her “hoo ha” on the show. But I am sure the ratings would be killer, won’t they?
I can just hear the preview for the upcoming show… Tune in next week  when all “h”-”e” double hockey sticks breaks out when Michelle’s bladder falls in the batch of homemade soap! Oh the hilarity!

Michelle, you can be done now. Honest you can. I doubt your kids feel that they need another child to care for. Don’t start thinking that 20 is a nice round number, I think your quiver is quite full. God won’t be mad if you stop now. *snicker*

Really, when is Michelle and Sir Hump-a-lot, Jim Bob going to put a cork in it? Or when will Jim Bob have a couple of snips? Which seems MORE than fair to Michelle, wouldn’t you say?

The Duggers are not only on TLC, they have a book under their belts called The Duggers: 20 And Counting and I am sure there will be more to follow. Jim Bob is a former state legislator, and is involved in a number of businesses, including commercial real estate. So even though having a huge family like the Duggers would be financially devastating for most, they supposedly make ends meet. I am sure TLC is making it a lot easier for them financially, if not helping them to survive. Of course the Duggers plan on going forward with yet another season. But what happens when their audience goes away, and TLC no longer finds them bankable? Will their quiver be finally full then?

Speaking of TLC, you have to love TLC, huh?
They have some real quality shows. *snicker* From Toddlers & Tiaras to I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. Hey Michelle maybe you can be on that show too!

TLC is known as the “Learning Channel.”
I am sorry, what are we learning here again? How to have a litter of children? Or how to put a pair of flippers (fake teeth) on your child and dress them up in a hooker outfit with big hair and caked on make up and watch them bump and grind to I’m A Little Teacup?
People pa-lease!

I guess TLC is always on the look out for more children and families to exploit.Yeah I know, it’s the parents that choose to do the shows. But how many of these yahoos are being tantalized by the reality show dream of getting their little ones on TV and banking in on them?

Of course TLC would have LOVED the Vassilyev family.
Nobody can compete with the first wife of Feodor Vassilyev of Shuyu Russia. She bore 69 children between 1725 and 1765. She had 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets.

Now your talking! Too bad TV wasn’t around back in the 1700’s, this family could have been reality show gold.
They could have called the show “The Hump-a lots!”
Oh wait… that’s the Duggers.

Hey Now! Knock it off!
Will someone please turn a hose on these two? Geez!

Kirstie Alley has long been ridiculed over the past few years about her weight. From appearing on the failed sitcom Fat Actress to being Jenny Craig’s spokesperson, both of which ended in disaster. The National Enquirer has been dogging Kirstie through her weight gain and recently came out with a gem of a front page article stating that Kirstie Alley only has four years to live.

The Enquirer has always been known as a tabloid rag, and most stars let it roll off their backs like water on a duck — but not this time around. Apparently Kirstie’s 85 year-old Dad saw the article and called her very upset and asked her if she was dying. That infuriated Kirstie SO much, that her current obsession with Twitter helped her to show her true colors once again.

Kirstie took aim at the National Enquirer employee who wrote the article and posted some pretty nasty and threatening tweets, and asked her “Twitter buddies” to help her out.

The National Enquirer article that enraged Kirstie:

Kirstie Alley has just four years to live, an expert predicts. Locked in a deadly cycle of binge eating and yo-yo dieting, the former “Fat Actress” star has shaved years off her life span, according to doctors who have reviewed her medical history.

At 5-foot-8 and 250 pounds, the 58-year-old Emmy winner is “playing Russian roulette with her life,” warned Patrick Wanis, Ph.D., a human behavior expert from Miami Beach, Fla. “I added up the stressors in her life, and unless she adds more balance to it, Kirstie may only live to age 62.”

That frightening scenario is the conclusion of a longevity guide that he’s developed known as the “Life and Death Calculator.” The calculator determines a person’s estimated life expectancy by evaluating five principal body indicators.

“There are emotional, mental, physical, nutritional and spiritual stressors that can define how well we age,” explained Dr. Wanis, author of “Secrets to Losing Weight, Being Thin and Loving Your Body,” a set of three CDs. “We also look at relationships and how much support one gets from friends and family. Finally, we take lifestyle – where you live and the quality of life – into account.”

The former “Cheers” star – whose last serious romance ended in May 2000 when she called off her engagement to actor James Wilder – lost 75 pounds nearly three years ago as the poster girl for the Jenny Craig weight-loss program. But she’s regained some 90 pounds since then with a weakness for fat-laden Chinese takeout and other unhealthy foods.

And such a dramatic weight gain can dramatically shorten life span, according to a top anti-aging expert.

Now I don’t doubt that her weight is an issue to her health, but four years to live is a tad ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I am not sticking up for Kirstie in any way. It’s extremely difficult to have respect for someone who supports a cult, a cult btw, which claims to hold ALL the answers to any mental, physical or spiritual problem you might be having. Which of course, begs the question, why can’t Kirstie turn to Scientology to help her with her weight, and to a greater extent, her overall health?

Kirstie is supposedly an OTV on Scientology’s Bridge To Total Freedom and has “donated” over five million dollars to the cult in the past. Their promises of telling members that their courses and auditing will enable them to be “at cause” over everything. They also boast about having special “OT powers” and are able to cure many afflictions. *ahem, SNICKER*

It is quite obvious that Kirstie is not  “at cause” over her weight or the constant “PR flap” she continues to be for Scientology. Which couldn’t make me happier. But it is not only a problem of Kirstie being duped by the deceptions of Scientology and giving them bad PR, now she has decided to go on Twitter and go after the employee who wrote the article by asking her Twit buddies to “Fair Game” this person.

As you may or may not know, Fair Game was actually a policy written by founder L. Ron Hubbard in which he states:

Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed. October 1967 Policy Letter (HCOPL 18 Oct 67 Issue IV, Penalties for Lower Conditions)

Some snippets and Kirstie’s actual tweets were listed on Celebitchy, (of course the names and personal info were redacted):

Alley is predictably outraged about this, and claims that the cover upset her 85 year-old father. She is urging her followers on Twitter to harass an employee at the National Enquirer, who I won’t name here. Regardless Alley seems to think this woman had a hand in the story despite the fact that she’s not listed as an author at all. Alley’s tweets on the matter are ominous and she practically threatens the woman, calling her “fair game” and saying she’ll expose her photos and secrets. Alley lists the Enquirer employee’s contact information, including her e-mail and phone number, and asks people to contact her. The term “Fair Game” is used by Alley’s cult, Scientology, and refers to the practice of revealing damaging information about detractors and harassing them relentlessly until they back down.

That’s [name redacted] [phone number redacted]. [email address redacted]..

show S SOME LOVE..tell her my DADDY sent you..More news on S to follow
about 23 hours ago from web

Please call Ms. [name redacted].Your natural instinct will be to be kind.
Pretend your father just called you panicked that you were dying. Bang Bang
about 23 hours ago from web

@mladenstanisic SHe IS famous isn’t she? Now she really IS a public figure. Fair Game for Public photos and speech. Same terms as Me..lol
about 23 hours ago from web in reply to mladenstanisic

S[name redacted] …watch your back honey..two can play at the INFO and picture game and YOU are a public figure now too, girly girl..click click
10:07 AM Aug 16th from web

nasty writers dirty little secrets..and I will be happy to EXPOSE them right here on twitter. Nasty Writers beware of the truth..
10:04 AM Aug 16th from web

It also is never the answer to harm their loved ones when they are not even the target. I am NO DOVE, but I won’t hesitate to EXPOSE these
10:02 AM Aug 16th from web

IIT PROVOKES me to do the same thing to them and their families as I CAN GET THEIR PRIVATE DATA. But my religion teaches ignore and
flourish
10:00 AM Aug 16th from web

to buy this sh*t. It wreaks havoc on families and friends, just like any other bullying except it is on a world wide scale. Oo Daddy, look away
9:58 AM Aug 16th from web

I am sharing this with you because it truly is the highest form of insidious evil bullying that exists.What you CAN do about it, is refuse
9:57 AM Aug 16th from web

I don’t care for myself..If it wasn’t weight it’s been some other lies for 28 years..but it breaks my heart when my Dad worries about it..
9:56 AM Aug 16th from web

I DESPISE THE F*CKING NATIONAL ENQUIRER!!!! My 85 year old amazing father just called to ask me if “I AM DYING” Bless his heart..EVIL F*CKS
9:48 AM Aug 16th from web

Tisk Tisk! Kirstie! I would imagine both Twitter and Scientology would not be too happy about this? Twitter’s TOS is as follows and I put a WHOOPS! next to all that apply to Kirstie:

You must not abuse, harass, threaten, impersonate or intimidate other Twitter users. WHOOPS! 

You may not use the Twitter.com service for any illegal or unauthorized purpose. WHOOPS!

You are solely responsible for your conduct and any data, text, information, screen names, graphics, photos, profiles, audio and video clips, links (”Content”) that you submit, post, and display on the Twitter.com service. WHOOPS!

 You must not create or submit unwanted email to any Twitter members (”Spam”). WHOOPS!

You must not, in the use of Twitter, violate any laws in your jurisdiction (including but not limited to copyright laws). WHOOPS!

Violation of any of these agreements will result in the termination of your Twitter.com account.  WHOOPS?

So do you think Twitter suspended her account because of her threats and her telling her twittery dimwitted minions to email the employee from the National Enquirer? Speaking of someone rallying her dimwitted minions… that kind of reminds me of a someone.

But Wait There’s more……

But wait, there’s more…

Omarosa says she is headed off to Seminary school.
Why am I NOT surprised?
Because I think this breast implanted, famous for being a biotch on The Apprentice D-lister, will do anything in keeping her dream alive of trying to be famous, even though she lacks any talent, and is basically a real nobody in my book.

Omarosa going to Seminary school can only mean a handful of things. Either there is a reality show on the horizon, she may go the route of televangelist Benny Hinn, or she has changed her ways and really wants to become a bona fide minister. Which would you pick?

In case you don’t know who Benny Hinn is, he is a televangelist known for his “Miracle Crusades.” He claims he has been anointed by God and has the power to heal the sick, including cancer, blindness, deafness and AIDS.
Hey Benny! Why don’t you high tail it over to Africa and start there? Or perhaps visit your local hospice and bust out some of your “healing” moves there? No? I thought not.

The only true miracle here is that people are still forking over money to this con artist. Needless to say, the authorities are very interested in the wealth that Hinn has created for himself. Now I am not going to get into Hinn’s unfulfilled prophecies of God eliminating the homosexual community in 1995  and that the East Coast was supposed to be devastated by earth quakes. Let’s just say Hinn’s church, the Faith World Church is right next to Scientology in the con game of raking in the dough.

Of course the religious con game isn’t anything new.
Right? Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart? Who are BOTH by the way STILL preaching today, even though Bakker was caught cooking the books, guilty of mail fraud and allegedly raping Jessica Hahn, and Swaggart was caught red handed with a hooker more than once.

I am pretty sure if there is a God, he would not approve of  the “work” these con artists bible thumpers are doing in his name. Everyone remembers Swaggart’s tearful sniveling sermon when he begged his followers sheep for forgiveness. It’s hard to believe that these two snakes are still preaching today and that people are still padding their pockets. That IS a miracle indeed. *shakes head*

Swaggart in his hey day below.

Now I am not insinuating that Omarosa is going to go the route of swindling anybody, but perhaps the route of a reality show preacher, or reality show minister. There are subtle differences between a preacher and a minister, and some may overlap one another. In other words there can be a preaching minister. It’s all very confusing. 

I don’t think she really has the power to actually create a “Church Of Omarosa”, but there is tons of money to be made in becoming a popular preacher. Hell, if dumb asses are still willing to fork over money to Bakker and Swaggart, and Hinn is living high on the hog, Omarosa could sadly have a good chance of raking in some serious dough here.

Really all you need to do in order to become a rich preacher, is bury your head in the bible and bone up on some scriptures, (or go to Seminary school) be charismatic, gather a flock of sheep to follow you who are willing to fork over their hard earned money and most importantly, hire a damn good accountant who  is a wizard at hiding your cash. Hellooooo Luxembourg! (The Swiss have recently caved to the IRS)
Right David Miscavige? Miscavige is the leader of the cult of Scientology. Although Miscavige is not a preacher or a minister, or even religious for that matter, he has sadly found many deceptive and creative ways in continuing to bilk money out of his Scientology’s members. Hopefully some day our government will finally step in and put an end to all this madness. After all salvation is and should be free.

Back to Omarosa…
Since Omarosa already considers herself one of the most successful reality TV stars in the history of reality TV, half the work is already done here. Or can it be at all possible that Omarosa is really changing her ways? Can a leopard change her spots? 

The Dayton Daily News writes:

Omarosa Manigault Stallworth is a person who knows herself and knows how the public perceives her.

She is completely comfortable calling herself one of the most successful reality television personalities ever, after appearance on “The Apprentice,” “Celebrity Apprentice” and “The Surreal Life.”

The public calls her a villainous, an in-your-face, nasty celebrity and terms much worse than that. She knows it, embraces it and has attained success because of it.

How can that same person enter the ministry here at United Theological Seminary in Dayton on Monday?

“I’ve been feeling as though I’ve been going through a transformation over the past couple of years,” she said in a telephone interview on Friday. “You can lose yourself in this business. You lose yourself in Hollywood, lose yourself in fame. If you’re as fortunate as I am, you have people in your life who will work to ground you.”

After many meetings, praying and counseling with her pastor in Washington, D.C., Stallworth, 35, decided to enter the seminary.

She is not, as many blaring Internet headlines say, going to be a preacher or a chaplain. That is undecided.

“My goal is really to be obedient,” she said. “I’m going to seminary to find out what my role will be in the church.”

Being in the seminary and living in Dayton will not preclude her from continued entertainment work. Just this Thursday, she met with reality TV producers about a project. She won’t change who she is in entertainment due to the seminary, but she admits there might be “modifications.”

“The direction that reality (TV) is going will push the envelopes of anything you have ever seen,” she said. “A couple of the offers made me blush and that is hard to do”

For now, she is a student nervous about her first day of class, deciding between a briefcase or a backpack. The Youngstown native, who also received her undergraduate degree from Central State University, is looking forward to Ohio, too.

Although I hated giving Omarosa ANY more attention with writing this article, I found the notion of her going to Seminary school to become a minister both hilarious and dispicable. Which happens to be reality show gold. My guess is that the reality show producers are hoping that others will feel the same.

I fear that one day I will turn on my TV and see Omarosa hawking healing ointment on the Omarosa Church Network.
And that will be the day my TV gets kicked to the curb. Hallelujah!