Forgive me for not giving a crap about this nutjob’s “apology.” Apologies only count when you decide to do it on your own because you realize you have hurt or offended someone, not because you’ve been forced in to it, due to overwhelming pressure from higher-ups.

Not only did this hateful buttplug cheapen Heath Ledger’s death, an absolutely crass, cruel and pointless thing to do, but he’s been making fun of gay people for some time now. Haven’t we had enough of this right-wing based agenda of hate?

Here’s the original clip where John mocks Heath’s death, and makes fun of his one-time role playing a gay/bi-sexual cowboy in the critically acclaimed film “Brokeback Mountain.”

But wait, there’s more…

Why yes, I did go there.

TMZ reported Pam Anderson is NO longer pregnant. Gee, what a freaking shock. It’s not like I didn’t predict this very thing on our Glosslip entertainment segment for BTRToday. If you will recall, Pammy did the same thing to her second husband, from her other marriage which lasted approximately 30 seconds to Kid Rock.

As I recall, Pam told Kid Rock she was pregnant and then called him hysterical and jealous from Toronto stating she was having a miscarriage. Kid flies out to see her and finds her partying and having a grand old time. Her excuse, she was just kidding.

Fast forward to September 2007 and Pam hooks up with smut-peddler and Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon after he offers to bail her out of a gambling bet in exchange for sex. Pam, being a total whore, agrees, then chooses to marry him, files for divorce, retracts divorce filing, claims to be pregnant and BAM! suddenly isn’t pregnant anymore. Guess the divorce is back on!

I just have to say there is something really annoying about women who use their ability to reproduce as an excuse to manipulate men, either by lying about being pregnant or actually getting pregnant as a way of entrapment. Children aren’t toys or inanimate objects. But Pam is an idiot. If I were Rick I’d be glad to be rid of her STD riddled carcass. He’s actually the bigger prize of that union. Blech!

Also, in ridiculous Hollywood news, Eddie Murphy and his ex-wife by “symbolic union” of exactly two weeks, Tracey Edmonds, have officially split up. Why? Because Eddie Murphy likes men who dress up like women and was clearly confused. Oh, and I guess because her kids (from her marriage to Ken “Babyface” Edmonds) think he’s a total a**hole.

Can’t say as I disagree, Eddie seems like a major douche.

Seriously, I have milk in my fridge with a longer shelf life than these Hollywood marriages.

I can not express how disappointed, yet in awe, I am of Lindsay Lohan.

It is not easy finding nice things to say about her. Yet, I dug deep, deep, deep within my greatest reserves of goodwill and largess and said she had “talent” and was far less useless than say a whore like Paris Hilton, or that crazy loon Britney Spears. This was a real gesture of my own magnanimity, and how does this trollop repay me? By making ME look like an ass.

Yes, it is all about me.

Anyway, Lindsay was in Italy over the weekend to accept some kind of made-up award at the Capri Film Festival. She was joined by that little cheerleader from Heroes Hayden Pantyhose and while there, it seems Lindsay found herself some hot Italian sausages.

Now before I go any further, I have to share some insider information with you. Italian men (men from Italy) will hump a dead cat. No really, that’s how they roll. They are testosterone laden freaks who harass women on the street in packs or as individuals. Old Italian men, or little Italian boys — they are all the same, driven to sex up anything female. That said, I like Italian men and their indiscriminate need to try and mate with anyone. To them, Lindsay must have seemed like some kind of goddess from the land of horny sluts, open to their salacious advances and turning none away, regardless of inappropriate levels of body hair or stomach fat.

Ok, back to the story. Lindsay hooked up (or at least kissed) Italian waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio on Friday night, an then on Saturday actor Eduardo Costa, an older gentlemen whom she flirted and kissed, only to move on to Dario Faiella, yet another actor. She must have found what she was looking for in Faiella, as he got the grand prize. And likely, an STD.

Lindsay is pictured above with Faiella in what appears to be an awkward and most likely embarrassing post-coitus moment.

There are other rumors Lindsay spent somewhere near $700 on liquor over the weekend, and well, that may explain her amorous endeavors.

I am not sure whether to chastise her, or give her high fives for single-handedly redefining the feminist movement. I think a compromise is in order.

WooHoo Lindsay, way to go, you brazen, cheap harlot!!!! SLUT. IT. UP!!!

I realize that Paris probably thinks she looks sexy in this Alice and Wonderland get-up, but if you look again, you can see Marilyn Manson trying to claw his way out of her diseased body. Come to think of it, those two would make a great couple: the Prince of Darkness and the Heiress of Whoreville.

More of Paris being an ass after the jump. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
But wait, there’s more…

It’s been a while (like a whole two weeks or something) since we’ve mentioned the 5′10″ human condom more commonly known as Paris Hilton. So here she is, wearing what has to be the most egregiously designed bathing suit. Seriously who wants that kind of tan line?

And, of course it wouldn’t be a Paris outing without showing her eensie weensie teensie bug bites.

Gawd, Paris is such a boring whore.

Nips after the jump, but why bother, haven’t we been tortured enough?

But wait, there’s more…

Avril Lavigne is on the latest cover of Blender Magazine, which as it turns out, is not in fact a torture device which she will be fed to, but instead a music mag.  Why is she on the cover of a music magazine you ask?  Beats me, because what she makes isn’t music, but something I like to call: a steaming pile of excrement. 

I am assuming that the “hell yeah, I’m hot” quote came directly from Avril herself.  She is well known for her self-deprecating charm and quiet modesty.  She’s also known for being a raging b*tch who bleats and barks like a like a caged wolverine, which could be hot, but in her case is really annoying and makes you want to light it on fire to put it out of its misery.

While I am not privvy to the contents of the article (THANK YOU LORD) I did find this ridiculous blurb in Blender’s Editor’s Picks section for May 20, by none other than their senior Editor Mike Errico:

“Avril Lavigne, “Girlfriend”
Resolved: There is no such thing as a “Guilty Pleasure.” You either like something or you don’t. Does this song have substance, weight … importance? Will generations huddle for warmth around a postapocalyptic trash fire humming “Girlfriend,” wistful for the promise of a generation choked to near-extinction by their own political and environmental policy decisions? Oh, shut it. You won’t ruin Avril for me. Not this week, anyway.”

Talk about some feint praise.  So, what this tells me is that Mr. Errico was forced to say something vaguely nice about Avril as she graces their cover, this also means Mr. Errico is a shell of a man willing to sell his soul for money, and from this day forward anything he endorses is to be treated like the ramblings of an idiot — oh he is also touched in the head.

Avril fans, her new album is shallow, immature and unlistenable.  You want some female angst rock, do yourself a favor, burn your Avril and listen to Liz Phair’s Exile In Guyville.

Joe Francis’ is going to have to dig deep to find some solace in his times of trouble. As we reported earlier, the judge in his contempt of court case which landed the Girls Gone Wild founder in jail, showed Francis no mercy and sentenced him to 35 days in jail. What’s 5 more days in a 35 day sentence? Well, those additional days could cost him an extra year in jail if he is found guilty of tax evasion charges, as well as brand new charges of sexual assault and pending probation violation charges. All in all, if found guilty on all the charges against him, Francis could get up to 100 years in prison.

So what’s a multi-millionaire jet-setter to do? Call all your rich Hollywood friends and ask them to write letters defending your character. If only you could reach them. Janet Charlton is reporting that Joe’s having trouble finding friends now that he’s behind bars facing a laundry list of tawdry charges. Friends like Paris and Nicky Hilton, Tara Reid, Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart, Jessica Alba, Mario Lopez, not too mention A-Listers like Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn who enjoyed a visit to Francis palatial Cabo estate.

Nope, these folks are too busy to get back to Francis, or perhaps, they don’t have anything positive to say about the guy. Let’s face it, just because some one offers you free coke and a nice place to kick back, doesn’t mean they like you, or are your friend. I stayed at Hilton Hotel, but that doesn’t mean I will stand as a character witness of behalf of Paris.

From the article:

Now they won’t give him the time of day. Joe has been calling collect from jail all over Hollywood, begging people he thought were his friends to accept his call or call him back. No response. Joe is very upset and he told one friend that he just MIGHT be tempted write a tell-all book detailing those celebrity get-togethers and all the drugs and sex secrets!

Really, he shouldn’t be surprised considering his own behavior. When you go on a Howard Stern’s show and start dishing on who gives the best oral, or who sucks in bed, don’t be surprised when those people aren’t jumping at the chance to help you. Even sluts like Paris, Lindsay and Kimberly aren’t that stupid. Well, maybe stupid’s not the right word, but you get my point.

Paris Hilton’s ability to actually sing has always been a legitmate question to ask. And who better to ask it than the legendary soulful rocker Prince? According to a story in Us Magazine, that’s what happened.

While Prince was performing in Las Vegas at the Rio All Suite Hotel and Casino on April 21, he invited Paris Hilton on stage to join him stage. He then said to the audience, “Let’s see if she can really sing” — according to a witness.

Hilton, who clearly can NOT sing (have we ever seen her do so outside a studio to anything other than horrific results? NO) stormed off stage, leaving the club entirely after just two songs.

Paris Hilton’s spokeliars deny the story, stating “This item is false.” Much like her eye color, hair color and personality. Prince’s rep offered no comment.

I am already a huge Prince fan, but that just puts the smooth, silky gravy on my fluffy mashed potatoes of love. Even if it’s untrue, the mere implications are joyful enough!

Last night on CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s 360, a guest warned the viewing audience and those in the media to discontinue the constant re-broadcasting of the now sensationalized videotapes sent to NBC from Virginia Tech murderer Cho Seung-Hui. His cautionary advice stemmed from a concern of encouraging and perhaps, motivating, copycat killers in the wake of the tragedy.

We now know that the killer sent these tapes on Monday, in between the two killing sprees, at approximately 9:00 am. NBC received the tapes and media kit on Wednesday and quickly this information was disseminated to the media, and of course to investigators working on the case.

As a person who writes on events in the news, I understand full well that there is an insatiable hunger for news, especially after an event of such magnitude as the VT tragedy. But there needs to be some sort of balance in the coverage.

For NBC to have made the decision to air the video and materials of a selfish lunatic who JUST killed 32 innocent people shows a calculated move of indescribable greed. The campus of Virginia Tech is still reeling from the massacre. Victims are still laying injured in hospital beds and the hearts and minds of those who have been touched by this tragedy are raw and visibly pulsing with pain.

I know I didn’t want to see the insane rants of this a**hole and the hateful pictures of him trying to moralize his decision. He’s an idiot best left to being unknown, misunderstood by the public and not sensationalized for other would-be jackholes out there who want to hurt the innocent. Antiheroes should not be made compelling. They should be buried, trivialized and ignored.

We really need to start focusing on the victims and their lives. I am offended that I must see this ugly piece of crap’s face on the news while the names of those who perished are relegated to the crawl below.

I want to feel the impact of their absence. I want to know what was lost when their lives were cut short. I want to intimately understand who they were and what their dreams were. I want to recognize their faces so vividly that their murderer’s filthy, deformed countenance will be forever erased from my memory. Show some courage media. Some showing the videos, stop talking about the one person who we can all agree was forgettable, unimportant, insignificant and truly unremarkable in any manner whatsoever. He is a non-entity.

And above all, let’s not encourage any other idiots by giving this person one more second of exposure.

Virgina Tech has a memorial fund set up to honor those killed. They also have a nice memorial with the names, and hopefully we can start to learn more about these young people and their lives and those of their fallen teachers and staff.

CNN has a nice page with pictures and some information about the victims. I wish they would put it on TV.

Which is worse: being discriminated against for being gay by non-gays, or being outed and harassed by members of the gay community?  At least one can blame ignorance for their shameful behavior.

The National Enquirer, the tabloid magazine known for its veracity and integrity, has a forthcoming article quoting a former male model named Kerrick Ross who states he had sexual relations with Larry Birkhead.  Of course Perez Hilton, who is likely frothing at the mouth at this news has all the info. 

To summarize, the ex-model claims back in 2000 before becoming the private photographer of Anna Nicole Smith, Larry Birkhead carried on a 10-month affair with Ross.  Ross who was “out”, claims Birkhead wanted to keep the relationship private due to religious opposition from his Southern Baptist family.  Ross goes on to state that after the relationship ended he learned that Larry had been dating another man before the two began dating, and he was also dating women too.

And my feelings about this are: who cares?  So what if he’s bi, gay, or asexual.  Does this make him any less Dannielynn’s father?  No.  Does being gay or bi make him an unfit parent?  Not automatically.  Birkhead’s ability to be a good dad will become apparent in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.  So far though, he has proven to possess two essential qualities to being a great dad: patience and determination. Unless Birkhead had made a point of his swaggering heterosexual prowess, I see no issue here.  So he likes chicks and d*cks.  Good for him.  It would be really refreshing to see a great dad who is also a gay male model citizen. Something you don’t see enough in the media.

I find Perez Hilton’s overzealous need to out gays to be more harmful than the occasional hateful comment that flies out of the mouths of the ignorant.  When a person from within your own community is eager to condemn your lifestyle (and their own) through salacious innuendo and implied deception, then that speaks volumes about how they feel about themselves and fellow members of the community. Clearly Perez Hilton’s desire to find flaws in those who may or may not be gay stems from self-loathing and shame over his own lifestyle. Get over yourself.

Most Americans don’t really care who is or who isn’t gay, just so long as they conduct themselves with some dignity and respect for themselves and others.  Perez has become the ringleader of a growing population of finger-pointers who feel it necessary to humiliate and destroy public figures for their private choices in regards to sexuality. 

I am much more interested in how they conduct themselves across the board, than their private proclivities.  Ewww, who needs to know that stuff?

Picture source OK! Weekly via TMZ