Come on people!
Are you freaking kidding me?

Michael Vick who went to jail for being the leader of a dogfighting ring, was just released from jail after serving only 18 months of his 23 month sentence at Leavenworth.

Not only was his sentence a mere slap on the wrist, but he has once again signed up with Nike as a spokesman. Nike dropped Vick back in 2007, but they recently changed their minds and struck a new deal with him. The amount Vick that will receive from Nike has not been disclosed.

To make matters even more sickening, Vick will have his own eight part television series called the “Michael Vick Project” which will come out in 2010. The project will be produced by DuBose Entertainment,( Vick’s production company) MV7 Productions and Category 5 Entertainment. It will air on BET.

A snippet from Msnbc.com  about the show:

“The tentatively titled “Michael Vick Project,” a “docu-series,” not a reality show per se, will spotlight his comeback with the Philadelphia Eagles and also delve into his back story, from his difficult childhood to his 2007 arrest for running a dog-fighting ring, according to the L.A. Times.”

 
WTF?
Why would Nike and BET do business with someone who was guilty of animal cruelty? This means he will STILL be profiting from dogfighting in the long run.

But guess who else is behind this project?

According to the LA Times,

The project has the support of the Eagles, the NFL and former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, who has acted as Vick’s mentor since his imprisonment, say the producers. Also on board, they say, is the Humane Society, which has enlisted Vick in its battle to end the widespread abuse of dogs in the inner city.

What is this about Vick working with the Human Society? What does “enlisted Vick in it’s battle to end widespread dog abuse” mean exactly?

According to Humane Society president, Wayne Pacelle, who met with Vick while he was in Leavenworth, Vick is supposed to work towards getting young kids to cease any involvement in these activities by appearing in public service announcements.

No word lately about this particular project. I just don’t think these PS announcements will go over too well with the general public. They just may come off looking like a skit from Saturday Night Live in my opinion.

And unless Vick is volunteering his own time, donating funds from his new show and shoveling sh*t out of dog pens at the local pound, I am not convinced at all that he is a changed man.

They confiscated more than SIXTY dogs from Vick’s place when they broke up his dogfighting ring. Apparently BET and Nike have very short memories. And I presume that coach Tony Dungy is only concerned with getting Vick back on the field.
It was Roger Goodell, who suspended Vick indefinitely. Kudos to Goodell!

 
Thank goodness 22 of these poor pitbulls went to Best Friends rehab sanctuary in Utah.

National Geographic has a TV show called DogTown, which spotlighted Vick Dogs.

Meet Denzel, Just One Of Many Of Vick’s Victims

And Georgia, Another One Of Vick’s Victims

Of course the pictures above of Denzel and Georgia show their battle wounds from their fighting all healed. But their scars are still very visible on their faces as well as in their eyes.

Anyone who supports Vick, will be supporting someone who was guilty of a very cruel and brutal pastime.

The short time he spent in jail, was simply not enough. And although he has a three year probation, which requires him to wear an electronic monitor and to work a $10.00 an hour construction job. Again, not enough. 

Many people are not able to find a job these days. I’m sure that they would love to have that job in this economy. But instead, they give the job to a convicted animal abuser.

If the “Michael Vick Project” goes through, I hope the show goes over like a fart in church.

I sincerely doubt that Vick has proven ANY remorse what so ever by serving his cream puff jail sentence. And it sounds like these new deals with BET and Nike may have been struck during his jail time, since they are going to happen relatively soon.

So that means he sat and jail and wheeled and dealed about making MORE money as soon as he got out. And again that money will be made from him telling his story about his tough childhood and his arrest for dogfighting. Therefore profiting from dogfighting once again.

I don’t know who I am more disgusted with…
Vick the dick, the justice (?) system, or the other a-holes who are awarding him with continued wealth and fame. 
JUST DISPICABLE!

The only reason why I gave Vick ANY mention at all, was to spout my outrage. I can only hope that people will choose to send Vick a message by not supporting him in any way shape or form.

So write to Nike and BET and tell them how you feel about them hiring a man who operated a dogfighting ring and who not only had the dogs trained to kill each other, but then put money down on watching the dogs tear each other apart.

Tell BET he should not profit from telling his story. And tell them if this show does go through, that any money made from this series should go straight to the Best Friends dog rehab where his dogs were sent.

And as far as Nike goes…
If they insist on using Vick for a spokesperson….
Then Vick should set up some sort of deal with Nike. They can either have a percentage of their sales go straight towards animal rehab, or they can deposit a percentage of his pay right into the Best Friend’s bank account.

Of course I hope public outrage nixes both deals before they can ever happen.
But if they go through, Vick should have to redeem himself by having his money go to abused animals.
Although as far as I’m concerned, he can never be redeemable in my book.

No Animal Should Ever Have To Endure This Torture

They say Karma is a bitch, and I hope it catches up to Vick real soon.

How many times out of the goodness of your heart, have you donated to a good cause? Did you ever wonder if the good cause you donated to was on the up and up? Have you ever checked out a charity before donating your hard earned money? Well you should.

Just because it looks like a charity is on the up an up or sponsored by celebrities, doesn’t mean your money is going where you think it may be.

Glosslip is about to give you a small lesson in the many front groups of Scientology. If you are thinking that there is no way that you have have given cash to Scientology, think again. It happened to me, only I didn’t realize it until YEARS later. I will get to that later.

As you may or may not know, the cult of Scientology THRIVES on deception and secrecy. It has hundreds of front groups. Some of the better known front groups you may have heard about are, CCHR, Narconon, Criminon, Applied Scholastics, WISE, ABLE, FASE, and The Way To Happiness. 

While all the proceeds from these groups end up going to the same place, which is Scientology of course, the names of these groups usually are attached to a business, an inmate betterment program, a drug treatment program, a dentist or chiropractor’s office (we will get to that) or a school which teaches L. Ron Hubbard tech, like Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s school, the New Village Academy.

But there are a whole slew of names that you may not be aware of that are in fact Scientology.  Scientology’s deception runs so deep, that your own town officials may have some of these programs implemented and your tax dollars are ending up in Scientology’s pockets without you even knowing it. Yes, your tax dollars may be funding a Scientology drug rehabilitation program. Sad but true. It has happened in many states in the U.S. and just recently in New Mexico.

Ask Albuquerque Mayor Martin Chavez whose tax payers paid over $1.5 million dollars to run the now defunct Second Chance program which was run in their old Westside Jail. This program used Scientology’s teachings and the very dangerous Purification Rundown, which is also used by all Scientologists. This of course is the same program used in Narconon AND Criminon AND the NY Fire Fighter’s Detoxification program, just to name a few. ALL the same program, only with different names.

FYI…The Second Chance program left in the middle of the night and not only stole items, but left an outstanding bill. They owe more than $600,000 in tax liens, about $400,000 is due to the IRS, and more than $200,000 to the state. I would  like to know why Joy Westrum, who ran that particular Second Chance, is not being brought in for questioning? Crazy, isn’t it?

I know if that was MY money going towards a Scientology phony baloney drug rehab, I would be slightly miffed, to say the least.

Some of these programs that you may not be aware of are: The Drug Free Marshals, (this program is for children, and a new chapter just opened in Cincinnati) STOMP (Stop Torture of Mental Patients), World Literacy Crusade, Riders Against Drugs, The Association for Peace in the Middle East, Cry Out, Artists For A Better World, Slums To Schools, Racing For Human Rights Awareness & Education, Educating Children International, Fight for Kids, Author Services Inc., Volunteer Ministries, Guardian Art, Youth For Human Rights, Human Rights International, The NY Fire Fighters Detoxification Program, (created after 911, a front group for Narconon) Poets for Peace And Poets For Human Rights, and the list goes on and on and on. Narconon has MANY front groups and has recently been handing out pamphlets and information in many schools across the US. Tell your school no thank you!

Other names for Narconon front groups are stopaddiction.com, cocaineaddiction.com, ecstacyaddiction.com, methamphetamineaddiction.com, addiction2.com, just to name a few. Click here for more of Scientology’s front groups to watch out for.

Disturbing enough, the front groups names I just listed are merely  a drop in the bucket. Scientology has hundreds more and has successfully eked their way into law enforcement positions, government positions, our jail systems, our schools, our colleges, Hollywood, football teams, soccer teams, the arts and entertainment world, and yes, even NASCAR.

NASCAR driver, Kenton Gray, founded the Dianetics Racing Team in 2001. The name Dianetics Racing Team was a title taken from a book by founder of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard.

Kenton drove a car sponsored by Bridge Publications, (another Scientology front group) which publishes Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s “Dianetics”, the biggest book of dribble I have ever had the misfortune of trying to read.

The hood of the car that Kenton drove read “Dianetics”, along with a volcano graphic. The slogan is “Ignite Your Potential”. *rolls eyes*

Poor Kenton has no idea what he has gotten himself into. I am sure a lot of his prize money will be going towards Scientology courses and auditing so he can climb his way up Scientology’s Bridge To Total Freedom or what we here at Glosslip refer to as “The Bridge to Nowhere and Financial Ruin.”

Scientology has also been infiltrating other countries for years now. They are looking for “fresh meat” to join their Sea Organization and their Volunteer Ministries. They have snaked their way into India, Africa, Russia, Thailand and even the Czech Republic and many more. They typically go into countries with using their front groups The Way To Happiness and Volunteer Ministries ostensibly to help the underprivileged. Many unsuspecting people have joined the Volunteer Ministries through Scientology’s “World Crusades”  events that Scientology holds thinking they were helping people, completely unaware of the negative influence they were spreading until it’s too late.

Scientology also creeps into businesses through companies like Sterling Management, Hollander Consultants, Silkin Management Group, (formally called Hollander Consultants) and Stellar Consultants, these are just a few. They are ALL affiliated with WISE, which stands for World Institute of Scientology Enterprises.

How is Scientology able to achieve getting into businesses? They contact the owners and tell them that their employees productivity will increase greatly if they take their courses. Of course they are Scientology courses. Scientology courses which were written up by L. Ron Hubbard. They also tell the owner that they too will also make money depending on how many employees they get on course, so naturally some business owners jump at the chance to make more money. The owners must pay a licensing fee to WISE for use of the course materials and also a pay a percentage to WISE.

What is being taught in these courses? L. Ron Hubbard tech of course! And why? MONEY for Scientology and hopefully indoctrination into Scientology down the line. It’s all a a very slow deceptive process.

CONTINUED:

There have been lawsuits against owners of companies who fired employees who refused to get on board with taking these courses. This is a scary and sad situation, especially today where employees may be afraid of losing their jobs in such a poor economy and feel they better take the courses or else they will have to go job hunting. It’s especially disturbing for employees with families they have to support. Take the case of an employee at a company called DISKEEPER who was dismissed when he refused to take courses.

And like we mentioned earlier, dentists and chiropractors are a big target for Scientology. Dentists are usally brought into the cult through the front group WISE. They are asked to pay for pamphlets that Scientology prints. Scientology puts the dentist’s name and endorsement on the pamphlet. Then the dentists will distribute these phamphlets in their offices and waiting rooms. Any patients or employess that sign up for a course, the dentist ends up with a commission.

They hook the chiropractors in through the front group the CCHR, because chiropractors are agaisnt drugging, and so is the CCHR.

Many chiropractors and dentists AND their patients were indoctrinated into the cult this way. The hook is, if the patient trusts and likes their dentist or chiropractor, and think that if they see that their dentist’s name is on a phamphlet, or they pick up a CCHR pamphlet in their chiropractor’s waiting room on the anti drugging of kids, that it’s a good thing because it was endorsed by someone they trust. This can happen at any time. You can be a patient for years, and then start to see these pamphlets show up in the waiting room. We are not suggesting you drop your dentist or chiropractor. But do not get into taking any courses. And keep in mind again, your money will end up in Scientology’s pockets eventually.

We can’t possibly name all of Scientology front groups here. Click here for a list of JUST Scientology Schools in the world.

Scientology also sneaks in the back door using the entertainment world. Of course most people have heard about Tom Cruise and John Travolta and other big league celebrity Scientologists, but I am talking about small time performers too. Like comedians. How about Evan Wecksell, who tours college campuses and who’s a HUGE advocate for “Fight for Kids“. He participated in a 2009 Run Evan Run Tour this past August.  All the proceeds went to Fight For Kids. YES of course it’s another Scientology front group.

Evan also trains for the ING New York City Marathon where he ties in raising funds for Fight For Kids at this website. You can make a donation directly to Fight For Kids on that website, but it’s really a donation for Scientology’s CCHR . How many people realize that when they give money to Evan for Fight For The Kids, that it is actually going to the CCHR? Just sickening.

Evan also released a press release which stated:

Wecksell also will take his marathon experience to the next level by fundraising concurrently for “Fight for Kids,” a campaign launched by the Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), a non-profit public benefit organization. The campaign combats the psychiatric over-drugging and labeling of children while educating and offering alternatives for concerned parents.

At least the CCHR was mentioned in the article, but how many people know it is connected with Scientology? Or how much is Scientology mentioned at the race?  It’s not. Notice how the CCHR is described in the article as a “non profit public benefit organization.” Once again, no mention of Scientology or that he is a Scientologist raising money for Scientology.

Now keep in mind, the only thing that the CCHR does to help kids off drugs is print pamphlets about drugs and hand them out. It’s highly doubtful this is very affective in helping kids.

The CCHR funds their Psychiatry Industry of Death Exhibit (it’s a riot) both in California and the exhibits that travel across the US. All the rest of the money goes towards Scientology’s lawyers who are fighting pending lawsuits and also to pay their washed up and seedy private investigators, who follow, photograph, chase, and who dig up info on critics of Scientology and ex members who have left and have spoken out. The funds also go to their Office of Special Affairs which is nothing more than another group within the CCHR that is a group of Scientology goons who also photograph, follow people, dig up information, and “fair game” anyone who opposes Scientology or gets in the way of their quest to clear the planet. The rest of the money goes to Scientology cult leader David Miscavige who is a multi-millionaire living off Scientology front group earnings, money from the courses, the auditing and the “donations” of Scientology members. Lovely, isn’t it?

Now back to Evan Wecksell…

You can be the judge of his “talents” . Watch for yourself.

He also participates with his wife Kelly Meyersfield — of course another Scientologist – in the ”College The Musical: A Musical About College.” He is also an alum of the Theta Chi fraternity. It’s scary to think that Evan’s tours are at college campuses. What exactly do you think his intentions are? Promoting the CCHR? Evan’s website has other Scientology front groups links listed as well.

Now please know that I am not picking on Evan Wecksell. I am just using him as an example of how Scientology can reach smaller towns with semi-famous entertainers. And even raise funds through using a marathon race.

In Evan’s defense I would imagine like most public Scientologists, he and his wife do not have a clue about the dark side of Scientology. Members are kept far away from this information, and for obvious reasons. Just another deception of Scientology to keep their members in. Evan probably thinks he is doing a world of good for kids by thinking he is actually raising money for them. Sadly, he is not.

Scientology’s front groups are world wide. There are Narconon facilities world wide and many other front groups. L. Ron Hubbard would have loved to taken over the world if he could when he was alive. He thought he would be able to take over Rhodesia in the 1960’s. (named after Cecil Rhodes) Fact, Hubbard believed he was Cecil Rhodes in a previous life. Cecil Rhodes once said:

“I contend that we are the first race in the world and that the more of the world we inhabit the better it is for the human race.”

Rhode’s dream of world domination was Hubbard’s dream too.
Rhodesia ended up kicking Hubbard’s sorry ass out.

Oh well… so much for world domination L. Ron.

In the UK, there is band called the The Jive Aces. They are a swing band whose members are all Scientologists. They go around with clip boards and hand out Scientology literature between their sets. Not my idea of a good time, having to be bothered by recruiters when your out for an enjoyable evening. Some of their venues have asked them to stop recruiting at their shows or else they wouldn’t be aloud to play any more. These guys are SO indoctrinated into Scientology, they even use Hubbard’s words in some of their songs. Click here. This was taped at their performance at Saint Hill Manor in East Grinstead, UK.

St Hill is the biggest Scientology Org in the UK. The entire beginning of their song, “When Your Smiling” is strictly quoting Hubbard’s work. And yes they are very dorky in their matching yellow suits. I love swing music, but NO THANKS!

OR how about when Beck did a performance last year and the poster for his gig stated that all the proceeds went to Educating Children International?

YUP! You guessed it. Another Scientology front group. Pretty damn sneaky Beck. And not cool.

We did a story on that gig. His fans and now ex-fans were not too tickled that their $35 bucks went to Scientology. They were totally deceived. Nice thing to do to your fans huh?

So how did it happen to me?

How did I unknowingly donate money to Scientology? The same way as the Beck concert. I was totally duped by the deceptive promotion of an event.

I was asked to go to a benefit MANY years back. This was previous to my full knowledge of Scientology and all its abuses.  Like most people, I always thought Scientology was just some wacky group of people who believed in way out alien crap, and I thought they were totally harmless.

Someone told me the cause for the benefit I was attending was for the over drugging of school children. I thought, hmm… seems like a noble cause. My friend and I paid $30 a ticket and enjoyed the performers that night. There was a table set up passing out pamphlets and they were taking additional donations. I didn’t pay it any mind or even notice the literature they were handing out. Many people donated money and never even looked at the literature, thankfully I declined.

Now like I said, this benefit was YEARS ago. It wasn’t till a little over a year and a half ago I remembered reading an article that mentioned the over-drugging of school kids and that it was for the CCHR. It struck me kind of funny when I read it, as the words used in the article were so similar to the words used in describing the benefit I attended.

Well with a little snooping, I found out that the benefit I went to was also for the CCHR. So I looked into the CCHR and Scientology and I nearly fell of my seat. I was HORRIFIED.

Right then and there was when I decided to fight against Scientology. I was beyond disgusted and I couldn’t believe their out right deception.

But in the long run (many years later) I was happy that I did attend that benefit, because I would have never found out about all the abuses of Scientology and especially about their Sea Organization. So thanks Scientology, I guess you pulled me in and opened my eyes to your treacherous ways.

The more I dug up about Scientology on the net, the more and more I knew that I wanted to speak out for those who couldn’t speak out for themselves. Especially the Sea Org. I went on to read about Operation Snow White (when Scientologists (Hubbard’s wife too) infiltrated the IRS offices and stole government documents) It was the the single largest infiltration of the United States government in history! How Scientology was able to obtain tax exemption after this just makes me shake my head in disgust. Eleven people, including Hubbard’s wife, went to jail.

Equally as shocking, was the incredible story of the fair gaming of author Paulette Cooper who authored The Scandal Of Scientology. That Scientology fair game project was called “Operation Freak Out.” The poor woman was framed by Scientology and almost went to jail for a very long time. Read the story, it will blow your mind.

I was also shocked over Scientology’s religious cloaking and how they strong armed the IRS into giving them their tax exemption status back in the 90’s. And FYI…. they are the ONLY “religion”, *ahem* which is allowed to deduct courses, Scientology schooling and auditing as a deduction from their taxes. Nope not kidding.

From the Jewish Law website:

 In 1993, the Internal Revenue Service reached an agreement with the church, which was later leaked to the press, in which it pledged “not to contest the deductibility of Church of Scientology fixed donations in connection with qualified religious services.”

WHY IS THIS ALLOWED? 

Perhaps the Sklars court case from 2002 will interest you. They wanted to know why Scientology is the only “religion” that is allowed this exclusive tax exemption and so they decided to take their question to court. The LA Jewish couple asked if they can deduct their five children’s religious school costs off their taxes, in the same manner Scientology members are allowed to do, but guess what? They were denied. HUH?

Curious isn’t it? And more curious still…Scientology’s founder said and I quote:

“Scientology…is not a religion.” – L. Ron Hubbard, CREATION OF HUMAN ABILITY, 1954, p. 251

The Sklars have recently appealed to the Supreme Court. The outcome of this case will be very interesting.

Although I don’t believe that anyone should be allowed tax exemption for religious expenses, I think Scientology should not have exclusive rights. Perhaps this will rally the Supreme Court to take a good long hard look at all of Scientology’s shenanigans and favoritism that they were some how blessed with and why.

So, are you appalled yet? Good! Your learning!

I couldn’t stop digging around the internet about Scientology. It was like looking at a car accident. After reading about the death of Lisa McPherson and all the other alleged Scientology deaths, their use of fair game, all the abuses of their Sea Org members, and the out right evil deceptions that occur on a daily basis, I was totally hooked on making a promise to shed light on this insidious, litigious cult.

The people over at WhyWeProtest.com have been an ongoing thorn in Scientology’s side. Their website and forum consists of members of the group known as “Anonymous”, as well as critics and ex-Scientology members. Their website is a wealth of information, as well as their Research Wiki Page.

I tip my hat to Anonymous.

They have been able to shed more light on Scientology more than any other group or person. Their antics at their world wide protests which they claim they do for the “lulz”, and the all mighty internet has literally made the cult of Scientology start to crumble in a huge way and Anonymous may very well end up being the cult’s demise entirely.

I also have read some very heart wrenching stories at exscientologykids.com. This website was a real eye opener for me. It was started by Scientology ex-members Astra Woodcraft, Kendra Wiseman and Jenna Miscavige who were only children in Scientology’s brutal Sea Organization. Jenna suffered family disconnection from her parents as a child and left in 2005. She is the niece of Scientology cult leader David Miscavige. Be sure to give that website a visit. You will be both saddened and outraged by Scientology’s outright cruelty to children.

Of course Scientology does a good job themselves of constantly “pulling it in” by not only believing that they are above the law, but their constant “foot bullets” and lies are no longer working. People world wide are wising up and uniting to put an end to this utter sham of a religion, which is nothing more than a money making pyramid scheme.

So the next time you hand over your hard earned money as a donation, or buy tickets to a show or benefit, attend a race, a movie with a Scientology star or check a loved one into any kind of rehabilitation center, OR you have to take a course at work…. be sure to check it out first. Read the small print. Be sure you know who you are supporting!

Check the Scientology front group list and make sure it is not on that list. And keep in  mind, Scientology is VERY shifty. When a smaller front group’s name gets too much attention of having Scientology ties and the funding stops, they just come up with new names and move on. All the money collected from all these front groups, all goes to the same place… SCIENTOLOGY.

Also, be aware that any time you see a “Stress Test” table with the red table cloths set up selling copies of  the book Dianetics, that it is nothing more than Scientology all the way.

These Stress Test tables set up at fairs, flea markets, malls, street fairs, college campuses, city streets, and have been seen set up outside of some Walmarts!

The Stress Test is where the deception starts, as you will not see a sign saying Scientology ANYWHERE on their tables. They are only interested in sucking you into the cult by having you take a stress test, which will then lead to their personality test. This is where they will tell you that you have problems, or you are not very happy and that you need help and they can help you with some courses. They also claim to cure illnesses. I kid you not.

Speaking of not supporting Scientology, keep in mind that any support for any Scientology celebrity, artist or musician is also giving money to Scientology down the line, as they are continually having to take courses and auditing and “donate” millions to Scientology. Right Tom Cruise?

Not too long ago, Cruise lobbied the White House to have every school in the US teaching Scientology’s L. Ron Hubbard tech through the Applied Scholastics front group. Some schools in the US do teach this tech already. The tech is very dangerous, as it will eventually elimnate your child’s ability to think critically and when they go to further their education, they will most likely be far behind others. It also teaches that if the child is not able to understand what they are being taught, that it is THEIR fault. Many students can not get into college after attending a school teaching this tech. Is your child’s school next?

So any movie ticket that you purchase that has a Scientology star in it, the money will end up supporting Scientology down the line. YOUR money.

Don’t be duped, and don’t support a cult that is rife with abuse, deception and utterly drains people of their critical thinking along with their bank accounts and lively hood.

If you are outraged by all of Scientology’s deceptions and abuses of its members, let your local, state and government officials know about it. They are not above board with their front groups and fake charities and it simply must end.

There is no way for Scientology to reform. In order for Scientology to reform, they would first have to put an end to their mind control process. But that is very unlikely, as Scientology IS all about mind control, Without mind control, there would simply be no Scientology.

I urge you to please click on the many links I have thoroughly researched and provided in this article so you can easily read up on some of the many stories, information and horrors of Scientology.

And I end this very long article with words from the founder of Scientology,  the late L. Ron Hubbard, who is revered by cult members who still hang on to his every word…

“THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CONTROL PEOPLE IS TO LIE TO THEM. You can write that down in your book in great big letters”.

L. Ron Hubbard, “Off the Time Track,” lecture of June 1952, excerpted in JOURNAL OF SCIENTOLOGY issue 18-G, reprinted in TECHNICAL VOLUMES OF DIANETICS & SCIENTOLOGY, vol. 1, p. 418

Sad news out of Florida:  Four men, two former college football players and two NFL players, are missing at sea after going for a fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico and have yet to return:

The U.S. Coast Guard continued to search for two former Tampa Bay Buccaneers and two former University of South Florida football players who went fishing in the Gulf of Mexico on Saturday and never returned.

The original area being searched Sunday, about 750 square miles west of Clearwater, “has about tripled,” Coast Guard Petty Officer Sondra Kneen said this morning. [...]

The missing boaters were identified as former Bucs Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith and former USF players Nick Schuyler and Will Bleakley. Cooper, a linebacker, plays for the Oakland Raiders. Smith, a defensive end, played last season for the Detroit Lions.

The Coast Guard said at a news conference Sunday that it intended to search overnight for the missing boaters. There was no determination of how long searchers will continue looking.

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers are expected to join the search of inshore waters today.

The Coast Guard’s search was hampered Sunday by bad weather conditions, including gusting 30-mph winds and 14-foot seas. Sunday morning, the Coast Guard pulled in its 47-foot rescue boat because the rough seas.

Coast Guard Capt. Timothy M. Close said there was no communication with the men even before the weather started to pick up and no SOS call was received.

“That’s not to say they didn’t send one out,” he said. “We didn’t receive anything.”

The men were in a 21-foot, center console boat manufactured by Everglades Boats, Close said Sunday. The company advertises that because of the construction technique, the vessels are difficult or impossible to sink, he said.

On its Web site, the company also says the construction process “makes Everglades Boats unsinkable.”

Our thoughts and prayers for a safe and speedy recovery of these men.

UPDATE:  One of the players, Nick Schuyler, has been found clinging to the boat, and the search has been narrowed to a more specific area.  It seems the boat was anchored when it flipped.

Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone involved.

It’s the three degrees of Nicole Kidman…she doesn’t really have anything to do with this story other than the rather odd coincidence of ex-husband Tom Cruise, adopted son Connor, and current hubby Keith Urban all being at the Daytona International Speedway for this year’s running of the Great American Race, which probably made for some very interesting conversations at two separate dinner tables later that night:

Cruise brought his father-in-law and adopted son Connor along for company as he got behind the wheel of the same vehicle used in the 1990 film.

Sporting a pair of sunglasses and leather jacket, the star appears to have aged well, looking younger than his 46 years.

There was no sign of ex-wife Nicole Kidman though, who he met on the set of the film and subsequently married.

Kidman’s current husband however, country music star Keith Urban, attended the event to  perform a surprise two-song set for reporters.

Urban took brief questions from reporters and laughed awkwardly when asked what his favourite racing film was.

“Uhhhhh … Cars?” he stammered, choosing the animated movie over the more obvious Days Of Thunder that featured his wife as Tom’s love interest.

Later, Urban and Cruise both attended the pre-race driver meeting. The two were seated on opposite ends, but Cruise heartily applauded Urban when the singer was introduced.

(I know Dawn ususally does the CoS stories…she rawks, I suck, but be gentle.)

I remember when Days Of Thunder came out…back in the day Tom was the hawt young thing, the darling of the cinema, and fans simply could not get enough.  Then, by most accounts, he was introduced to Scientology in 1990 by former wife Mimi Rogers, the same year this movie was released (DOT was filmed in 1989, released in June 1990), and while he has had certifiable hits since then, the deeper he gets into Scientology the worse his movies perform at the box office.  Now, he’s done gone and lost his mind to a pseudo-religion, his career is going down the toilet, and fans are running from Tom and his footbullets in droves.  Too bad, because I can still see traces of that hawt young thing in the caricature he has become (perhaps assisted?)…why oh why did he have to join a cult?  Maybe the CoS thinks that NASCAR rednecks are too stupid to know about their atrocities…but they are wrong.

However, it disturbs me to see father-in-law Martin Holmes in this photo-op with Tom.  His son-in-law seems to have the Midas touch in reverse, and he doesn’t allow anyone near him who doesn’t at least pretend an interest in the church, so this is probably the only way Martin can see his daughter and granddaughter.  However, anyone pictured with Tom automatically makes one ask just what is going on.

And here’s a slightly OT question for everyone…people were ticked about how the race ended, shortened by rain.  But why did Fox insist they start the race so late to begin with?  Had they started at the normal time, there would have been plenty of time to race the entire 200 laps before the storm rolled in, and drivers wouldn’t have been driving like men possessed to try and get the lead before the red flag.  As it was, had they decided to wait out the rain, dry the track, and finish the race (all in all, taking at least 3 hours if not more), the ending probably wouldn’t have been shown on Fox, because God forbid they interrupt their prime-time television lineup for something like a car race…but Daytona is lit so it could have been done.  There was two airtime hours of stupid pre-race crap (yes, including that boring Keith Urban set), so had they ditched that junk and got down to the business of racing earlier in the day there would have been 200 laps.  Just shut up and race!

(ps…in 2006 there was an attempt by the CoS to break into NASCAR, but from what I’m finding on the web it was epic fail.  The website is gone…however, a Scientology car has been active in Switzerland [translated page], and Scientologist driver Kenton Gray’s team has a site, but it doesn’t seem to be up to date.)

Bicyclist Lance Armstrong is offering a reward for the return of his finely tuned, very expensive, and super-cool-looking bike, which was stolen sometime Saturday night:

Whoa!! They just came to my room and said our truck was broken into and someone stole my time trial bike! Wtf?!? APB out to the twitterati.

It seems that this isn’t your run-of-the-mill Schwinn with a banana seat and a baseball card in the spokes (although that would be cool), but a precision instrument and one of a kind:

Lance Armstrong came out of retirement to cycle his way back to the top of his sport -  but he is going to need a new bike to do it after having his stolen by thieves.

The seven-time Tour de France winner has offered a reward for the return of his custom-made time-trial bike after it was stolen from his team truck in the middle of the night before he was due to start a race in California. [...]

He wrote on his page: ‘There is only one like it in the world therefore hard to pawn it off. Reward being offered.’

Armstrong’s bike was stolen from the Team Astana truck during the night before Stage 1 of the Tour of California.

He had rode it to a 10th-place finish on Saturday in Sacramento during the Tour prologue, in what was his first competitive appearance in his native country since beginning his cycling comeback last month.

He’s now offering a reward for the safe return of his bike, which he uses in time trials.  So if you have any info on this bike, remember…you saw it on GlossLip! 

Wow, this one ranks right up there with some of the most famous denials of all time:

“I did not have sex with that woman.”  (Bill Clinton)

“I am not a crook.”  (Richard Nixon)

“I’ve done nothing wrong.”  (Rod Blagojevich)

And now…”No.”

That was the answer Alex Rodriguez gave to Katie Couric back in 2007 when asked point-blank if he had taken any sort of performance-enhancing drugs.  Now, since it has come out that he has indeed taken performance-enhancing drugs, his memory has returned and, oh wait, maybe he did partake of some of them there drug things after all:

His voice shaking at times, Alex Rodriguez met head-on allegations that he tested positive for steroids six years ago, telling ESPN on Monday that he did take performance-enhancing drugs while playing for the Texas Rangers during a three-year period beginning in 2001.

“When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day,” Rodriguez told ESPN’s Peter Gammons in an exclusive interview in Miami Beach, Fla.

“Back then, [baseball] was a different culture,” Rodriguez said. “It was very loose. I was young. I was stupid. I was naive. And I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time.

“I did take a banned substance. And for that, I am very sorry and deeply regretful.” [...]

Rodriguez’s admission comes 48 hours after Sports Illustrated reported that Rodriguez was on a list of 104 players who tested positive for banned substances in 2003, the year when Major League Baseball conducted survey tests to see if mandatory, random drug-testing was needed in the sport.

Sources who know about the testing results told SI that Rodriguez tested positive for testosterone and Primobolan, an anabolic steroid. In his ESPN interview, which his ex-wife, Cynthia, attended, Rodriguez said he did not know exactly which substance or substances he had taken. In 2003, there were no penalties for a positive result.

“Again, it was such a loosey-goosey era,” Rodriguez said. “I’m guilty for a lot of things. I’m guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all the right questions. And to be quite honest, I don’t know exactly what substance I was guilty of using.”

A three-time AL Most Valuable Player, Rodriguez blamed himself and his $252 million contract he signed with the Rangers in 2001 for his decision to use PEDs.

“I felt a tremendous pressure to play, and play really well” in Texas, the New York Yankees third baseman said. “I had just signed this enormous contract … I felt like I needed something, a push, without over-investigating what I was taking, to get me to the next level.”

Rodriguez also said part of the reason he started using drugs was the heat in Texas.

“Can I have an edge just to get out there and play every day?” he said to himself. “You basically end up trusting the wrong people. You end up, you know, not being very careful about what you’re ingesting.”

Rodriguez added: “I am sorry for my Texas years. I apologize to the fans of Texas.”

Rodriguez, who joined the Yankees for the 2004 season after a trade from Texas, said his years as a Yankee “have been clean.”

“I’ve played the best baseball of my career since,” he said. “I’ve won two MVPs since and I’ve never felt better in my career. Of that I’m very proud of.”

And what do the Yankees have to say about this admission?

“We urged Alex to be completely open, honest and forthcoming in addressing his use of performance-enhancing drugs,” it read. “We take him at his word that he was. Although we are disappointed in the mistake he spoke to today, we realize that Alex — like all of us –is a human being not immune to fault.

“We speak often about the members of this organization being part of a family, and that is never more true than in times of adversity. Alex took a big step by admitting his mistake, and while there is no condoning the use of performance-enhancing drugs, we respect his decision to take accountability for his actions. We support Alex, and we will do everything we can to help him deal with this challenge and prepare for the upcoming season.”

*waves hand*  I have a couple of questions?

Why should we believe anything this guy says?  It isn’t like he’s exactly had a record of telling the truth at all times.  If he lied about taking drugs as recently as 2007, what makes us believe he is telling the truth now?  And what is this excuse, “I didn’t know what I was taking”?  Are we to believe that there was a guy in the shadowy corner of the Rangers locker room saying, “Psst…c’mere…hey, I got somethin’ that’ll make you feel reeeeeeeeal good, make you play reeeeeeeal good ball, you wanna play good ball, huh?  You wanna hit that ball good?  You do a couple of these, you feel mighty fine!”  And Alex, out of his total naivete, just decided to pop or swallow or be injected with whatever the person with the needle or the pill bottle gave him, without even asking what it was, or even what it was for?  Did he believe the guy was giving him an injection to clear up his complexion?

And what about the Yankees?  By the looks of things, they are standing behind A-Fraud:

Rodriguez has four fewer World Series rings than Derek Jeter or Mariano Rivera, but at this stage in their careers, Rodriguez, not the other iconic Yankees, is the face of the franchise. Because Rodriguez is tied to the Yankees for nine more years and about $250 million, he is the player the team is built around, tainted or not.

So, even though Rodriguez admitted to being a cheat, the Yankees have taken the stance that he is their reformed cheat and that they will support him. Unless the Yankees were willing to take a monstrous financial hit to try to shed Rodriguez, something they did not consider, their only option was to back him and trust that he told the truth by saying his steroid use ended six years ago.

So, if you are a professional athlete making millions upon millions of dollars, it is okay to take illegal drugs (one of the drugs in his system is illegal to market or sell in the US), as long as you come “clean” about it…eventually, when you’re forced to by somebody who found the evidence, and after you’ve already lied about it for years.  You’ll still collect your full paycheck, you’ll still get all your benefits, you don’t have to worry about things like your home being taken away or ending up on the streets or your children starving…because you can hit a ball and run real fast.  Oh, and as far as the drugs being illegal in the US?  Well, it wasn’t against baseball law at the time, so it’s okay after all.  You know, loosey-goosey.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sports.  I’ve got teams and individuals I follow and am fans of in the sports world.  I’ve spent my hard-earned money supporting my favorite sports.  I believe that sport does offer us a welcome respite from the pressures of the real world, a chance to sit for a few hours and just enjoy watching a ball game or a race or a match.  But what do these people do, really, that makes them worth $250 million dollars?  And what makes them so special that, when they are forced to admit they took illegal drugs, they can still participate in their chosen field?

Back in the day when I worked a real job, we had this little thing called a drug policy.  Basically, it was this…if you showed up at work on drugs, you got fired.  My husband works a real job, and they have a drug policy.  If you show up for work on drugs, you get fired.  In A-Rod Land, you show up for work, get your drugs at work, and collect millions of dollars.  Score!

But how much responsibility do others hold in this little fiasco?  We live in a society of supply and demand.  If we, the sports-viewing public, demand bigger and better and faster, the players and coaches and trainers feel obligated to supply bigger and better and faster.  Maybe if these players weren’t marketed as little gods, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and maybe if we realized that these sports figures are just people after all, there wouldn’t be quite so much pressure to do this stuff.  Or maybe there would be…after all, it’s just part of human nature to want to be better than the next guy, but it is our own strength within ourselves that makes us realize where the line is drawn.

A-Fraud may or may not be taking PED’s now.  Quite frankly, you have to question anything that comes out of his mouth these days because he has lied about it for so long.  But even if he isn’t, you can bet your tintype that somebody in baseball is.  For that matter, pick a sport, and there will be somebody in there taking drugs, some of which will enhance their performance in their game.  And still they prosper.  I guess the rules are different in Sports Hero Land.

However, it comes down to this…Alex could have said no, and he didn’t.  He ultimately made the decision to take performance-enhancing drugs, and he made the decision to repeatedly lie about them, and he made the decision to not say anything until he got caught.  Like the little boy who cried wolf, I just don’t know whether to believe him.  Unfortunately, this isn’t something we can make a call on now…because only time will tell if he is truly clean or if he is just blowing smoke.

I’ve purposefully held off on writing about this because I wanted to see how it played out, and now I have my answer…Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps, caught on camera attached to a bong as long as his forearm, has been disciplined by USA Swimming and has lost a major sponsor:

The Olympic swimming sensation Michael Phelps, who was photographed inhaling from a marijuana pipe, has lost a major sponsorship deal and has been suspended from competition for three months.

Kellogg, the food company, said Thursday that it would not renew its contract with Phelps when their deal expires at the end of February. It would not disclose the value of its contract.

Later Thursday, USA Swimming suspended Phelps for three months.

“Michael’s most recent behavior is not consistent with the image of Kellogg,” Susanne Norwitz, a spokeswoman for the company, said in a statement.

USA Swimming publicly reprimanded Phelps, who won eight medals at the Beijing Games, temporarily withdrawing its financial support to him and barring him from competition through early May. Phelps receives a monthly stipend of $1,750 from the organization. The national and world championships will be held in the summer.

“We decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and hero,” the organization said in a statement.

Phelps’s agent, Drew Johnson, also released a statement, saying that Phelps accepted and understood the decisions. “He feels bad he let anyone down,” the statement said. “He’s also encouraged by the thousands of comments he’s received from his fans and the support from his many sponsors. He intends to work hard to regain everyone’s trust.”

Darryl Seibel, a spokesman for the United States Olympic Committee, said Thursday that U.S.O.C. officials were willing to work with Phelps to ensure that he does not repeat his misstep. [...]

As it stands, Phelps’s actions have already put a dent into his sponsorship spoils, which some marketing experts say could reach $100 million in his lifetime.

It’s also being speculated that he might now pull out of the 2012 Olympics:

“This is a decision of mine that I’m not going to make it today and I’m not going to make tomorrow,” Phelps told the Baltimore Sun.

“It’s going to require a lot of time and energy and a lot of thinking for myself – but also talking to (my coach Bob Bowman) and talking to my family and just deciding what I want to do.”

And then there was the apology offered after that little DUI back in 2004:

Wicomico County District Court Judge Lloyd O. Whitehead accepted an agreement between Phelps’ attorneys and prosecutors and granted Phelps probation before judgment. The sentence means Phelps’ record will be expunged if he complies with the terms of probation.

“I recognize the seriousness of this mistake. I’ve learned from this mistake and will continue learning from this mistake for the rest of my life,” Phelps told the judge as more than 100 spectators packed the courtroom, mostly to see the famed Olympic champion.

Which sounds remarkably similar to the apology offered just a few days ago concerning this latest slip-up:

“It’s something I am going to have to live with and something I’ll have to grow from,” Phelps told The Associated Press outside the pool where he trains. “I know with all of the mistakes I made, I learned from them and that is what I expect to do from this. By no means it is fun for me, by no means is it easy.”

And he was described as being quite out-of-control at the party where the photo was taken…although, one must take into account the tabloid style of the paper and the possibility that the person offering info was trying to give them their money’s worth.  But then again, you never truly know the private life of a public figure.

Now, before people start in on me, let me just make this one thing perfectly clear from the start:  I like Michael Phelps.  I think he’s cool, and I have enjoyed watching him compete in the Olympics.  I don’t have any personal animosity against the man.  That being said…I do, as a blogger and as a human being, have to step back and take a look.

There are some who believe this should be totally a non-issue because of the drug involved.  The debate over whether or not to legalize marijuana rages on in this country, with supporters on both sides making compelling arguments.  And yeah, he could have been caught with a needle in his arm or a crack pipe in his hand or on the receiving end of a steroid shot, so the situation could have been much worse.  But whether or not one agrees or disagrees with the laws concerning marijuana in this country, the fact is that it is illegal to smoke pot.  If you’re busted with it, you’re going to have to pay the consequences.  It’s really just that simple.  Agree or disagree, them’s the rules, and you have to play by the rules if you want to continue doing the things you enjoy.

Let’s put it this way…I recently was the recipient of a speeding ticket, busted while traveling up a short hill into a small town by a cop hiding behind a clump of trees (which also conveniently hid the speed limit sign, posting a speed which was a good 10 MPH under what I was going).  While I was seething and wondering why this guy didn’t go after a drug dealer or something, since the town I was in has a bad drugs reputation, he handed me a ticket.  I was polite, respectful, and later on I quietly paid my fine.  Now, I could have bucked against the system, declared that the speed limit was unreasonable, screamed about the unfairness of my little infraction when compared to the druggies of the town, griped about the sneaky cop with his sneaky radar gun, and continued to speed up the hill in protest…but all that would eventually get me is my driving privileges taken away. You see, whether we agree with certain rules or not, sometimes we have to follow them to continue doing what we like to do.  I like to drive…therefore, I’m going 25 MPH into that town from now on.

Michael should have known, as a young man with more Olympic gold than most small countries, his every move will be scrutinized.  Whether he intended it or not, he is now a celebrity, and with that comes every yahoo with a cellphone camera ready to catch you in a private moment doing something stupid.  He never should have put himself in a situation where he ended up drunk sucking on a bong.  I don’t care that he’s young.  Plenty of young people manage to make it through life without ever rolling a blunt or chugging a beer or getting a DUI or getting caught with drugs.  And the photo was taken in November…the Olympics were in August.  How long does a person really need to unwind from the stress of the Games?  Being young and successful is no excuse for being stupid…dude, there’s a reason why they call it dope.

Now, having said that, do I think Michael deserves to pay for this forever?  No, I don’t.  Every good parent knows that when your kid does something wrong, you have to punish them.  You give them a stern lecture, you ground them for a while, you take away an activity they enjoy, you dock their allowance, you give them a chance to say they are sorry.  But eventually, when you feel they’ve learned their lesson, and when you feel you can trust them again, you slowly restore their privileges to them, albeit with the stipulation that they mind from now on or face worse consequences.  I think that is what should happen with Michael…he’s screwed up twice now, luckily with no serious repercussions to anyone but himself.  He’s being disciplined, again.  He’s being told that if he minds, he’ll eventually get his privileges back.  And that’s as it should be.  No punishment should be forever.  Besides, he had to tell his mom about it…sometimes, that’s punishment enough.

But Michael, as a parent, let me say this to you…eventually you’re going to run out of chances.  Even the best, cutest, most talented child gets to the point where they push the last button.  This is the second time now you’ve been caught exhibiting very bad judgement, and I sincerely hope it is the last.  I hope your apology was sincere, and not just “I’m sorry so please don’t pull my sponsorship dollars.”  There’s a big difference between being sorry you did something and being sorry you got caught.  Time will tell, and actions speak louder than words.  Take your punishment, learn from this, and most importantly…don’t let it happen again.

I don’t expect to have to have this conversation again.  Now go clean your room.

Of course, I’m old enough to remember the original, which makes it even funnier. 

Coca-Cola adds life…have a Coke and a…SMILE!

The Pittsburgh Steelers (my pick) ultimately emerged victorious, but HUGE props to the Arizona Cardinals for making it a game.  Kurt Warner is the man who got my son interested in football, so he was a sentimental favorite for me.  I would have been happy either way.

I thought I was going to have a heartattack during that last five minutes.  GREAT game.

What did you think of the game?

We try not to acknowledge fame drop-out Jessica Simpson too often, it merely encourages her, and honestly, encouragement is the LAST thing she needs. But alas, sometimes Jess’ ability to draw unwanted attention to herself goes above and beyond, and even we can’t look the other way.

So, what did Jessica Simpson do besides wear that unfortunate ensemble, which also included a pair of “mom” jeans? Well, she spouted off at the mouth about her equally moronic boyfriend, Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo, whose career has taken a nosedive since she came into his life. Like we’ve said before, Jessica is an albatross, a bad omen, a curse upon the land. Oh, and she’s now relegated to singing at chili cookoffs (to be fair, there were 30,000 people there).

First the ensemble. Jessica is a pretty girl, there’s no doubt, but she’s also what Judd Nelson as John Bender from the great film The Breakfast Club would call a “Claire.” When Claire (played by the original firecrotch, Molly Ringwald) says, “I’m not fat,” Bender explains, “Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh…”

Yeah, so that describes Jessica, and I have found through empirical research that the more she blabs about her current love interest (for now, Tony Romo) the fatter she gets. Now, I have no problem if Jessica Simpson wants to be all puffy and bloated, that’s her business. But if she is going to get up on stage and sing at a chili cookoff wearing that redonkulous outfit, well then it becomes MY business.

And why is it that girls with big butts in Hollywood want to wear mom jeans anyway? In fact, when I did a Google search for “mom jeans” (I do NOT recommend doing this) this is the picture that came up. Yeah, Mischa Barton, I’m talking to you too.

As for Jessica’s lovelife blabbing (you can see where that’s gotten her, John Mayer, Nick Lachey anyone!), here’s what she’s had to say about her main man Tony Romo:

“I just told him today, ‘You’re the love of my life,’ ” she confesses in the latest cover story. “I don’t really ever say that to anybody.”

As for where the road with Romo, also 28, may take her, Simpson says, “I think any person who I’m gonna date for longer than six months, I definitely am investing in something long-term. If I get married again, then it will be the last time.”

I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight!” the singer told a crowd of nearly 30,000 fans at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country’s annual Chili Cookoff Sunday at C. B. Smith Park in Pembroke Pines, Fla. “My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays,” Simpson told the appreciative audience. “I am sooo happy!”

Jessica, here’s some advice for you. As a woman who has been working in the entertainment industry for at least the last ten years, I’d think you’d have figured out how this game works. Never EVER make bold proclamations about your love life, like when you said this, “After 9/11, I knew that I never ever wanted to be away from Nick ever for the rest of my life,” about your ex-husband Nick Lachey. See how that worked out? Not so good. Keep it vague, or better yet, keep it private!

To be perfectly frank, I have yet to figure out why this woman is famous. She’s not a great singer (got cut from the infamous Mickey Mouse Club, the one which spawned stars Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Ryan Gosling), her reality show (Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica) helped make her a household name, but at what cost? Not only did she end up ridiculed for not knowing the difference between chicken and tuna, the show’s meddling inference destroyed her marriage.

Jessica is like King Midas, except that everything she touches turns to caca because she’s such a nitwit. Big boobs and a pretty face are no replacement for talent. The only difference between you and Pamela Anderson is 13 years and a few STD’s. Consider this a kindness. I don’t want to hurt you, I want to stop feeling embarrassed for you.

There is no shame in quitting when your ability to fail is so apparent. Give in Jessica, get knocked up, get fat, let yourself go and finally wallow in that pit of mediocrity you know awaits you. I am not trying to be cruel, but rather giving you a way out. Trust me, this will not end well.

And Tony, as for you, this is your future buddy: