Rosie O’Donnel recently chatted with shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius XM Radio.

She dished about her not so fabulous relationship with her wife lately, Oprah Winfrey and Oprah’s BFF Gail. And oh yeah… that she thought her and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up once.

Was this wishful thinking on Rosie’s part? Or wishful thinking on Jolie’s part? Or just creepy Howard Stern with his usual everyday thoughts? *snicker*

First, about Oprah….
Both Rosie and Howard say they think that Oprah and BFF Gail are closer than they are letting people know.

From EOnline:

As for her thoughts on Oprah’s relationship with her BFF, Rosie and Howard think there may be some sparks.

“I don’t know that she and Gayle are necessarily doing each other,” Rosie said, “but I think they are the emotional equivalent of…”

“A gay couple,” the radio man finished.

“When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets, and I don’t mean it to be an insult either,” Rosie explained. “I’m just saying, listen, if you ask me, that’s the couple.”

Doesn’t Howard imagine ALL women that have a relationship with another women of any kind in bed together? I can’t stand the man and he skeeves me out to no end. I bet his palms are always sweaty. EWWWW!

As far as Rosie thinking that Oprah and Gail are a couple? 
I just think her bringing up Oprah and Gail was ridiculous and a real yawn fest.
Although Gail would have been a BIG improvement over Stedman! (I always considered him Mr Excitement)

Don’t get me wrong, I am not defending Oprah the Scientology cult sympathizer in any way. Even though everyone is eternally grateful to Oprah for having Cruise on her show, which led to the famous career end phrase “jumping the couch”.

Hey Tom! How’s That Scientology Going For You Lately?

So if you are keeping score, I find Howard Stern, Rosie AND Oprah all repulsive. Oh yeah Cruise too. All for different reasons. And none of those reasons have anything to do with sex.

So what about Oprah’s BFF Gail? I don’t think I have EVER thought of that women before in my life in any capacity what so ever. I find her as about exciting as a fence post. Although again, she still would have been a better pick than Stedman.
FYI…when Stedman and billionaire gal pal Oprah finally ended their 21 year old fling, he received $250 mil for his “years of ridicule and you better keep your mouth shut” severance package. Wonder what Oprah’s gal pal Gail will get? *snicker*

So where does Angelina Jolie come into this picture?

Well….
Rosie told Howard that she talked to Angelina on the phone a couple of times way back when.
Ohhhhhh! That’s where she got the idea that they were going to hook up. Who could blame her? WHAT?

Some more help from EOnline… Rosie said,

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal.

“I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Dinner plans too? WOW! Now wonder Rosie thought that there may have been a little somethin’- somethin’ going on between them.
Are you freakin’ kidding me?

First off, I have to mention, that I find Angelina Jolie ALSO repulsive, and again, it has nothing to do with who she did, who she almost did, or who she is doing now. Which of course is Brad Pitt, who I can’t stand either since he hooked up with “Angelina -Jimmy- Deana”. My nickname for her because of her huge plumped up sausage-like lips. You know…. Jimmy Dean sausage?

And secondly…. who gives a rats ass?
Really. Sounds like Rosie is doing a little “shock jocking” herself to get some attention.
And does anyone really want to hear about Rosie’s….  ahem….”wet dreams?”

I think many people think that there is no way in hell that Rosie could have scored with Jolie and that Jolie is way out of Rosie’s league. You know because everyone thinks Jolie is Ms. Wonderful and her beauty is simply breath taking? *ROLLS EYES*

But remember when Jolie kissed her brother on the lips on camera way back when? That was WAY too long of a kiss for any one’s comfort. How about her fling with Billy Bob Thorton? (ick)
I really wouldn’t have been surprised one iota if she did actually hook up with Rosie back then. Nor would I have cared. Hell, I wouldn’t care now!

But of course times have really changed now for Jolie. She thinks that when she poops it should be bottled as perfume. And I would imagine that Jolie would think that Rosie is not worthy of having scary sex time with her now. Besides, Jolie is saving it all for BRADLEY. *puke*

I think it’s moronic that Rosie thought that a few phone calls and a dinner date than never happened was some sort of prelude to jumping in the sack with Jolie or anyone for that matter.

So a word of caution people……
If you are not into Rosie that way…. I wouldn’t talk to her on the phone. And whatever you do, don’t make any dinner plans with her. Because it will obviously be perceived as steamy foreplay and undoubtedly an invitation for sexy time.

Unless of course, you want to hit that…..

Where’s The Camel Toe Police When You Need Them?

It’s hump day and what’s been going on in the world of celebrity gossip lately?
Same old crap and some new crap.

Lindsey Lohan went to court and partied the night before and the night after her court hearing. Yawn!
But wait… she said she’s afraid her Dad may kidnap her now. Uh.. again yawn. Wake me up when she does something new.

What’s also up?
Not Balloon Boy!  That news is SO rampant, that I am already tired of it. But it looks like reality has caught up with the Heenes. Honestly, I caught these loons on Wife Swap a while back and the father was a hot headed, delusional wacko, who thinks the sun rises and sets by him. I thought this man was questionable way back then, but you can’t always tell, with the way “reality” shows edit their shows. But now we know for sure. Yep! My gut instinct was totally spot on.

Now I think his wife is either abused and doesn’t know enough to get away and agrees with everything her idiot husband does regardless, or she actually agrees with everything her hubby does and also thinks you should raise your children by dragging them to twister romps and pulling them out of school and allowing them to trash talk to whomever they want. Either scenario is SAD. 
Oh! Have you seen their video on YouTube? I can’t understand what the hell they are singing about, but it looks pretty darn questionable. Future Beastie Boys ya think?

I wonder if wifey-poo will throw hubby under the bus, when it comes down to their day in court? Get out the popcorn! And as far as reality fame goes? Heenes… you got it now! Yah happy?

And more people who get under my skin…
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is back on The View. (oh joy) 
I guess little Ms. Perfect sent out some not so perfect baby pictures of her baby AND a guest appearance of her nipple to her friends and family by mistake. HA HA HA! This story brought me so much joy.

On to other idiots…
Rod Blagojevich (again NOT a celebrity), WILL appear on Celebrity Apprentice, yet another reason not to watch Trump’s show ever again.

And even more idiots…
Stephanie Pratt was busted for DUI. I wonder what bible thumper sista -in-law Heidi Montag will have to say about this? Maybe Heidi can get Stephen Baldwin to baptize Stephanie for her. ‘Cause we all know just how beneficial it was for Heidi. Praise Jesus!

And on to the King  and Queen of idiots…
Jon Gosselin is still hated by the majority of America. Well wait a minute…I stand corrected. Octomom, Nadya Suleman told Radar Online she thought Jon Gosselin was hot and has a crush on him. Ummm… hot?Perhaps Nadya needs her eyes checked and should pick up a paper every once in a while. Oh that’s right, she has 14 children, who has time?

But sorry Octomon, Jon was too busy getting his sexy on in a fancy cab with gal pal Hailey Glassman.
Hey Jon, you sure you want to pass this up? Could be a new show fer yah!
How about “John +Nadya +14+ 8 = The Earth Spinning Off It’s Axis”?

Well not if TLC has anything to say about it! They are already suing Jon for breech of contract, of course.
And he also has been ordered to pay back $180,00.00 back to his account with Kate. Kate ALSO has been ordered to pay some money back too. Seems like Karma has been rearing it’s ugly head with those two.

And speaking of Octomom, the Doc that implanted the SIX embryos (one split into two) into Octomom has been booted from the practice where he was employed for not following the rules. But of course he is still allowed to practice. Who knows what he will do now that he is on his own. I smell another reality show?
I can hear the promo now…
“Meet Dr. Eggo! He’s serving them sunny side up, so you too can have your very own reality show and start exploiting your very own litter of children in no time! Hey! Let Go Of My Eggo!”

Seriously, have you seen the latest clip of Octomon and her brood with all those kids crying? It makes me want to pull my hair out.

Speaking of child exploitation, Kate Gosselin tells Vanity Fair she ”feels like a prisoner” of her own fame and that the kids are starting to act out. STARTING to act out? Wow, if seeing Maddy in previous shows was only the start of her bitchdom, I woudn’t want to see her now. That child is not a force to be reckoned with! And please Kate…  let me get out the violin….you were being interviewed by VANITY FAIR and getting paid for it. Prisoner my ass!

On to more phony things….
Miss California, Carrie Prejean is being sued for her her boobs! K2 Productions (which directs the California USA pageant ) is asking Carrie for $5,200 back. I guess they paid for her boob job. K2 says it’s not about the money, and the money will go to charity. I doubt if will want the implants back. *snicker*

Speaking of cash….
Nicholas Cage is in a heap of debt. Cage is suing his former manager Samuel Levin for $20 million. Levin allegedly screwed with Cage’s money and Cage says that his manager is the one responsible for his current debt headache. Word of advice Nick…. don’t wait seven years before you check up on hired help that handles all your dough.

And on to big sloppy messes…
Anna Nicole Smith is back in the news again. Well, the court case of her doctors and Howard Stern that is.
In court, Larry Birkhead told a scathing account of Anna’s drug use while she was pregnant. 

Maurice Brighthaupt, former bodyguard of Anna, claims he saw Howard Stern, and Dr. Eroshevich injecting Anna with needles. He also said he saw Anna injecting herself. Why did this guy wait so long with this information? Supposedly Dr. Eroshevich was the bodyguard’s friend, as well as Stern. Sorry! No excuse.

Supposedly Anna Nicole was drinking pedialyte out of a baby bottle and laying in her own feces when found. Why was she ever brought to Florida in this condition? Now I know Anna was a complete mess with drugs, but when someone is that addicted to drugs and that incapacitated, she should have received help from the people around her, especially her doctors and those closest to her. Not checking into a Florida hotel. Stern was not present at her death, he was busy seeing a man about boat.

The IRS is also in play with Anna Nicole these days, and have filed a $125,112.86 tax lien on the estate of Vickie Lynn Marshall. So much for resting in Peace. Geez, what a mess.

And some weirdness in the news…
Marge Simpson is on the cover of Playboy’s October issue. Sorry, I didn’t find it at all amusing and I refuse to show a picture of it.
In fact I poo poo Playboy for advertising the Simpsons.

Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, Scientologist extraordinaire, donated TEN MILLLION DOLLARS to Scientology in May of 2008. Anyone that supports the Simpsons in any way is inadvertently giving money to Scientology down the line. Why would Cartwright give the money to her children, when she would rather hand it over to Scientology? Gotta keep everything KSW! (Keep Scientology Working) Right Nancy? Hope she wakes up some day.

Speaking of naughty pictures.
Levi Johnston (former husband of Bristol Palin) will be posing for Playgirl and has been in the gym bulking up for his upcoming saucy shots. I also caught him on a commercial for Wonderful Pistachio nuts. Yes, the man who will soon be showing his nuts was hawking nuts on TV. The commercial shows him with an immense bodyguard and Levi is eating a few nuts and the tag line says “Now Levi Johnston does it with protection”
I kid you not. See the commercial for yourself!
Wow! Talking about pissing Palin off! Yeehaw!

But wait it gets better….
Levi was interviewed by Vanity Fair. The name of the article is “Me and Mrs. Palin”.

Levi dishes about Palin and her lack of parenting, her bad moods, Todd flipping out and Levi was quoted as saying,

“I thought, Was this woman—who, at home, would literally say things that did not make sense—really running for vice president?”

You go Levi! I have a new respect for the boy. *snicker*

Then we move on to more puzzling things…
The court case of John Travolta.
Readers are probably wondering why I haven’t reported on this case as of yet. The testimonies in the court case were changing on a such a daily basis with so much “he said/she said” garbage going on, and with changing stories, that if I wrote about what was happening as it happened, I would have had to edit the story every single day.

I will be covering this story when and if I feel that some sort of conclusion of sorts has been made. I will say that this case has been one big puzzle of unanswered questions on BOTH sides.

And speaking of The Travoltas moving on …
Both Kelly and John attended the IAS (International Association of Scientologists)
Scientology 25th Anniversary at Scientology’s St. Hill Org in England.
Sadly, it looks like John will not be leaving this cult any time soon.

Tom Cruise, Katie and Suri were also in attendance. Poor Katie and Suri.

Scientology wanted people to believe that 4,000 people were in attendance at their event. ROTFL!
That number is just classic Scientology spin in which they are so famous for. They usually have to fly and bus tons of people in, as well as dressing up their Sea Orgers members to fill in the seats so it will look full. Reason for this? So their IAS PR photo will look like they are still successful to their members. It’s an old smoke and mirrors trick of Scientology, so they can continue to deceive their members. Lovely, isn’t it?

The IAS is nothing more than members donating money to Scientology. (which the majority goes straight to cult leader David Miscavige) In return for their donation, they get a discount on courses, auditing and such. Which is not a discount at all since they are donating money. Duh!

Cruise and Travoilta have donated millions and millions of dolllars to Scientology. Exactly what Scientology does with all that money as fas as “helping” to “clear the planet”  is a mystery. The money goes to buy more buildings that stand idle, make Miscavige richer and pay for all their pending court cases, lawyers and Sci goons. Oh! and I almost forgot, they have to pay their Sea Org slave labor members about .25 cents an hour.

US Magazine reported on the 25th Anniversary and quoted Cruise about the Scientology protestors outside the event:

Later, during a reception, Cruise was overheard chatting with another American man about the protesters outside the venue. “They’re squirrels,” Cruise said angrily, according to a witness. “Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!”

“Protesters are squirrels stuck in an electronic incident?”
Oh Tom, you certainly are one brainwashed mofo.
A ”squirrel” in scio-speak, means someone that messes or changes the tech of dead cult founder L. Ron Hubbard. Aka “squirreling the tech”. And “stuck in an electronic incident” is more scio babble from Hubbard’s work.

I wonder if Cruise actually said this though? Personally, I think if anything he would of called the protesters SP’s (suppressive people) not squirrels. And I think the “stuck in an electronic incident” line may have been borrowed from a video of another wacky Scientologist named George, which we reported on recently. Many duplicate videos of Scientologist George (who is an OTVIII, the highest that you can get on Scientology’s Bridge) showed up on YouTube and showed just how brainwashed Scientologists become the longer they stay in. The video is totally unscripted and SAD.

Cruise is supposedly an OTVII on The Bridge To Nowhere.

One more level to go Tom until you reach the tippety top to the Bridge of Total Freedom!
Yippee!
Good luck with that Tom! Wait till you see what OTVIII is all about!
SO worth the millions and millions of dollars that you blew. *snicker*

And now for something completely different and funny….
I was watching TV the other night, and there was a brief teaser for Season 6 of the steamy Nip /Tuck show, which started on Oct 14th. I thought I was seeing things, when I saw Mario Lopez completely decked out in black lingerie complete with a garter belt and black stockings. But no, I looked it up and yep it was none other than A. C. Slater (his name on Saved By The Bell) in drag!

Mario played Dr. Mike Hamoui on the series and he was seen in a steamy shower scene in a previous episode. Damn! I am going to have to start watching that show! Kudos for Mario for having the balls of steel for donning the less than flattering get up.

And even though Mario is one huge piece of eye candy…
sorry, this outfit just doesn’t cut it for me Mario. *snicker*

One Biotch Replaced By Another

What’s wrong with The View?
It’s bad enough that they continue to have Ms.Thing, Elisabeth Hasselbeck on their show, who’s right wing, closed minded, bible thumping, anti gay rants have set me through the roof on several occasions, but to bring D-lister bozo, Kate Goselin on the show?
 
Gee… which idiotic biotch makes me feel like biting a tire more? Hasselbeck or Gosselin? It’s definitely a toss up. 

Hasselbeck has had MANY heated arguments with several panelists on The View over the years. Go Rosie!

One tiff involved Hasselbeck and Whoopi going at it over Hillary Clinton’s suggestion of having the US Government give each child a $5,000 saving bond at birth, and Hasselbeck’s reply was,

“it would lead to fewer abortions due to women wanting to keep the money”.

Sheer brilliance at its best!

Thankfully, Bush is out of the picture as well as Palin and John McCain, “The Maverick”, so we don’t have to hear Hasselbeck defending those morons. But that will be replaced by Kate Gosselin’s bitchdom. I hope Whoopi or Behar rips her a new one.

Kate Gosselin AND spineless ex-hubby Jon’s claim to fame was pimping out their kids for the almighty dollar. And don’t get me started on her hair which looks like she backed into a weed wacker. Is The View rewarding her for her bitchiness and kid pimping by hiring her for the show? Yes I believe they are.

Yeah, I know it’s all about the ratings, and I am sure they will have people tuning in so they can maybe catch a couple of cat fights between Behar and Kate for the couple of days she will be on, but I just dont agree with rewarding this person with MORE paid air time. Does she need more money to pay for yet another nanny to care for HER eight children while she’s off doing all these appearances? Does she have another phony crap book coming out? ”Multiple Bles8ings” indeed!

It’s bad enough that Kate was asked to be at the Marie Shriver’s Annual Woman’s Conference this October. Is this a wise candidate to attend this conference?

Well don’t forget Shriver did invite Scientology cultists Kelly Preston and John Travolta. But it has just been announced that they have since backed out and will not be attending due to it being too soon after their son Jett’s death.

I can’t decide whether Scientology would be glad or happy about this current announcement. Of course going public with grief if you are a Scientologists is a big no-no and VERY low on their Tone Scale. (0.5 out of 40). But maybe not talking about it is better in the eyes of the cult? Or perhaps by backing out and saying they are still healing is showing proof that Scientology’s tech and auditing simply don’t work? Well we all know what Scientology’s defense would be to their tech not working… they would say it’s John and Kelly’s fault and they “pulled it in”. Sad but true.
People Magazine reported that Kelly’s comment was:

 ”It is with my sincere apologies that I must pull out from speaking at the conference. I am sorry, but I truly believed that I could do it. Otherwise I never would have said that I could. But I am still deeply in the process of healing, and it’s just too soon.”

And what about Kate being asked to be Shriver’s Conference?  She is famous now for being a reality show bitch, and using her children to rake in the dough. Is Kate going to talk about how tough it is to go through a divorce when she in fact was a big  part of the problem? Let’s not forget that Shriver asked Kate to be on the forum because her daughters were fans of Jon and Kate Plus 8. I wonder if her daughters are still fans now, and if Shriver regrets inviting her? Nice move Shriver!

So between Kate Gosselin and Kelly Preston being asked to do the conference, I think Shriver must be losing her damn mind.

What gems of knowledge can Kate Gosselin offer to this Conference that would be worth a damn? Is she going to dare tell people how hard it is to raise her children? Even though she has nannies, maids and more help than you can shake a stick at? Why not invite a single mother trying to raise her kids and make ends meet who is on welfare to speak at the Conference? Not THAT is a real struggle. I am sure someone in that position would have a lot more advice to lend about coping with life.

I digress…
So back to The View. Perhaps Hasselbeck is not only busy making babies, (how many tots will this holy roller be pumping out?) but maybe she is also busy defending allegations of plagiarism in an upcoming lawsuit. You see she wrote a book (she suffers from celiac disease) a while back called The G-Diet, but Susan Hasset claims that Hassselbeck plagiarized her book, which was written a year earlier. Oh I can’t wait to see the outcome of this one. Hasselbeck’s daddy is a lawyer too, so will Dad be helping her out of this jam?

A snipette from US Magazine on Gosselin’s apperance :

The reality TV mom of eight will occupying the seat of regular co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is out on maternity leave after giving birth to her third child, Isaiah, earlier this month.

The View has a lot of nerve asking the likes of Kate to fill in and I refuse to lists the dates she is going to be on. I can think of a lot of better suited candidates to fill in. Although I don’t consider their recent pick of having the Blagojevichs on the show a smart move either, to say the least. I am not going to open that can of (alleged) corrupt worms!

The thought of them paying Kate Gosselin who some people think is guilty of child abuse for what she put her kids through, to sit and chat about current events, is despicable. And paying the Blagojevichs? Totally maddening. Who’s next? Scott Peterson? How about OJ? Talk about ratings!
Sometimes you have to put ratings aside and decide you are not going to further slime ball’s careers.

At the very least, I guess some ”Viewers” will get a breather from Hasselbeck’s idiotic, whiny babbling for a bit. 
So to the prodcers of The View… SHAME ON YOU!

Ann Coulter appeared on “The View” yesterday to promote her new book “Guilty,” wherein she attacks single mothers and all the other ‘morally depraved’ folks in the world. When she wasn’t talking over the hosts, hunching like Gollum and shrieking like a harpy with her shrill, yet gravely voice, she was attacking little old Barbara Walters, which led to some testy exchanges between the co-hosts and Coulter.

Most amusing was Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s (the lone conservative on the panel) stoic shock and surprising composure. She looked like my cat looks right before hacking up a hairball: both stricken and disgusted by the furry slimeball stuck in the back of its throat. I actually almost liked Elizabeth at that moment – even she was offended by the world’s most unappealing female.

Regardless of Coulter’s political leanings, she is utterly disrespectful to anyone who opposes her view. She is incapable of intelligently defending her views without resorting to blatant stereotypes, racial innuendo and trite political sound bites.

I think they need to start a new show called “The View Showdown,” where they pair up guests with hosts from the show and do some kind of cage match thing. I would so loved to have seen Sherri Shepherd or Whoopi G. rip some of that fried out straw from Coulter’s pointy head.

Not that I am advocating violence; well, maybe a little, but only on vile she-males whose names begin with Ann and end with Coulter, if I’m not being too subtle.

Rumors keep circulating that Elisabeth Hasselbeck maybe leaving The View. I don’t watch The View, but I do enjoy the beatdowns which take place on the show. All the women on there have a tendency to put their feet in their mouths pretty often. I suppose that’s the nature of a show airing different people’s opinions. And while I have no love for Hasselcrack’s limited world-view or shallow soundbite driven thoughts on weighty matters, I don’t envy her either. It’s got to really suck being the sole conservative voice on a show clearly outnumbered with liberal ideology.

Who would like those odds? To Elisabeth’s credit, she does take a stand and tries very hard to get her point across, and it’s important in a democracy that many voices be heard from the various viewpoints out there, I just wish she’d find a more tolerable tact in which to express her opinion. She’s either glowering, twitching or having meltdowns whenever anyone dares question her “facts” or viewpoint, and this really doesn’t help her make a strong argument.

I truly wish a charismatic female leader would emerge who embodies intelligence, wisdom, diplomacy and grace – with a sprinkling of fierceness – for my daughter and other females to look up to. Hillary didn’t seem to have it, Sarah Palin gets failing marks and the rest of these talking heads are difficult to watch. Is there anyone out there who can fill the void?

By all means, show yourself WOMAN!