Britney Spears proclaims: "I'm The Anti-Christ" - OMG what a drama queen!
I am almost 100% positive that Britney is doing some kind of method acting or is far more brilliant than previously thought.
According to news reports (those Promises people sure are shady) Britney went bona fide bonkers and not only attempted suicide by trying to hang herself with a bed sheet, but she also screamed "I am the Anti-Christ" and scribbled 666 on her forehead. That is such '90s rebellion. Didn't Marilyn Manson do the same thing and sell like 50 million records? I mean, how commercially sold out is Britney anyway?
Britney's current troubles are being blamed on post-partum depression and I buy this argument. She's supposedly finding comfort in Brooke Shields' book about the condition, Down Came The Rain and Shields has offered her support for the troubled singer. As has Justin Timberlake, who was reportedly turned away by Britney's mom, Lynn.
A source told the Sunday Mirror: "Justin was distressed to learn about the state Britney was in. Lynne was touched by the gesture but begged him not to go. He promised to hook up with her at a later date."
Justin has promised to hook up with Britney at a later date? Huh? Justin obviously didn't get my thousand or so messages saying that I am available, um, if he wants to hook up. Guess he's screening his calls.
The suicide article also states that Britney has been begging to get back together with her ex, Kevin Federline, and wants to have another child.
Yes, well now we know, she's clearly f*$!ing nuts.
It's great that Britney has all these people offering her support in her time of need, but where were these jerks when I was losing my mind? Huh? Big deal, she shaved her head, wrote 666 on her forehead and screamed "I am the Anti-Christ."
I drank a whole bottle of whiskey on stage, dropped my pants and screamed "I am the Lizard King. Come ride the snake, it's seven miles long!" and not one soul offered me support. Except that bum in the back alley where I woke up. Although I think he just wanted my shoes.
