Britney Spears Universally Mocked; Exes K-Fed and JT Bond, Share a Hug
When we last left our forlorn Britney, she was nursing a broken heart after being unceremoniously dumped by Isaac Cohen, her boyfriend of less than a month, who then went on to tell sordid details of their brief affair to anyone who would listen.
But while Britney was busy whoring it up in New York and puking gallons of cham-pag-ne all over her SUV, her exes, K-Fed and Justin Timberlake were engaging in man-hugs and backslapping camaraderie in Los Angeles.
Let's break it down.Â
Last week, Britney flew to New York for Fashion Week with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James to attend several fashion events.  Britney tried to put on a brave face and even took a shower, but her newly darkened hair could not disguise the inner skank beneath. In what was supposed to be an opportunity for the pop-princess to clean up her act and strut her stuff, she instead engaged in one embarrassing stunt after another.
Initially, rumors stated that Britney bailed on a Heatherette show she was scheduled to attend to avoid running into her former mate Paris Hilton. Back in December the two became fast friends, but they have since fallen out over reports stating that Paris called Britney an "animal" in reference to her unseemly behavior. That's rich. Anyway, it seems that the true cause for Brit's immediate departure from the show was actually due to an even more humiliating revelation.Â
Britney was slated for front-row seating at the show, were she would be sporting a clutch designed by heiress Lydia Hearst and Heatherette designers Richie Rich and Traver Raines. In a blatant attempt at product placement, Britney was to be photographed prominently displaying the purse, but when Britney arrived and requested the clutch, she was "politely declined." Britney immediately left the show, most likely red-faced and in a huff.  Hearst explains her actions indirectly, but pointedly:
"I'm only giving the bag to accomplished young women who are doing something positive to affect the world around them. They are women I look up to and respect, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Sarah Jessica Parker and Anne Hathaway. They share the same high standards of giving back to the communities in which they live."
What? Britney not accomplished and doing positive things? That's some damn slander there. She has done more for the prostitution industry than any other. Bitches. Continued on the next page
