Charlie Sheen Needs A Thesaurus.
And the wheel goes 'round.
Another day, another set of sensitive, caring, imaginative, thoughtful set of emails sent from Charlie Sheen to his ex-wife Denise Richards are leaked by Anonymous Source. In this new batch of emails, Charlie demonstrates his stunning grip of the English language, and his prowess and enviable ability in how to use it to get his point across:
"Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser," Charlie Sheen wrote to Denise Richards in an e-mail the actress included in documents filed last week in L.A. Superior Court in the couple's custody battle."You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself sad jobless pig," reads another.
"You are an evil piece of [bleep]. I can't wait to tell the world what a piece of [bleep] you are. You don't get a [bleeping] dime till this is resolved," says a third e-mail.
Oh, the "bald mom" comment? Denise's mother is currently undergoing chemotherapy treatment for cancer.
Thus far, we have learned that Charlie thinks his ex is a pig, sad, jobless, pig, sad, talentless, sad, jobless, evil, bad mom, sad, jobless, and a pig. The way he weaves words together is extraordinary. I need to take notes.
Prior to these emails being released, Charlie attempted to apologize and explain his side of the story:
I have been responsible for some of the worst dialogue and venom-spewing behavior in the past few weeks that I can possibly recall, ever. The anger and frustration that our situation has generated is beginning to manifest itself in physical forms and cellular regression.
However, less than two weeks later, he was at it again:
"You are a horrible mom. Save your phony flowers for any one of your 30 dogs."
Sheen, for his part, is denying everything and in a message sent through his spokesman, says, ""I will not dignify the majority of these allegations with any measure of response. On its best day it remains laughable and inane."Â Hey, I'll bet Charlie wrote that, too!
Denise is attempting to remove all visitation rights from Sheen, alleging that he has inappropriately touched their daughters, and engaged in sexual behavior online both on straight and gay sites, and where some of the models have appeared underage. She has alleged that he has posted photos of his erect penis on dating sites, and emailed said photo to approximately thirty women. His dalliances with prostitutes are well-known.
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