Monster From Cloverfield Finally Revealed, Maybe
There's a new monster movie coming out in January by Lost creator JJ Abrams called Cloverfield. Using viral marketing and annoying secretiveness they have generated an absurd amount of interest. Except for me, I don't really care. The best Godzilla movies were made long ago and no amount of cgi is going to change that. The film is set in New York and mimics the 9/11 terrorist attacks New Yorkers endured, including insulting scenes of the Statue of Liberty being raped by a big skyscraper sized gila monster. I am against raping large historic figures, even those given to us by those cheese-eating Francophiles.
Anyways, many a rumor has been generated about what kind of monster will eat NY in this new movie, as Abrams has hinted his inspiration came after visiting Japan and seeing a Godzilla-type creature with his son. Who knows if any of that is true. But, after doing some extensive and exhaustive investigation I have discovered what I think might be the monster. There is very little warning I can give you for what you are about to witness and I am sorry for those with weak hearts who may be stricken by sudden heart failure, but rest assured, this is only a photo and there is no real danger from the monster known as Brooke Hogan.
Sadly, just moments after this photo was taken, the innocent human standing next to Brooke was eaten. Remember, Hollywood is a dangerous place.
