Oprah Winfrey To Get Her OWN Network
 The First Church Of Our Lady Of The Massive Head is going to get its own network, starting in 2009. I can hear the flocking Oprahloonies singing and genuflecting in rapturous praise from here:
Ms. Winfrey and Discovery Communications said on Tuesday that they would jointly create OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, a cable television channel to make its debut in 2009 on what is now the Discovery Health Channel. Discovery Health is available in more than 70 million homes.The new channel will not initially carry “The Oprah Winfrey Show,†the top-rated syndicated daytime talk show featuring Ms. Winfrey as host. But Ms. Winfrey said that she had the option to end that show in 2010 or 2011 and could move the talk show to the new channel then.
“Eventually that will happen, we hope,†Ms. Winfrey said in a conference call with reporters on Tuesday.
Oh, trust me, I hope that too. Maybe she'll get her own satellite package and then I can opt out of having her show on my television at all. Not that I ever watch her televised cultfest, because I'm afraid whatever laser beams originate from the broadcast will shoot into my home and I'll become a brain-dead Oprahloonie too, unable to do anything except what The Great Massive-Headed One orders me to do.
She is excited about this new venture, mainly because she'll have control over Every. Little. Thing, unlike when she was involved with Oxygen, where she had to, gasp, be responsible to somebody other than herself:
Asked about the difference between Oxygen, which was sold to NBC in October for $925 million, and the latest venture, Ms. Winfrey said Oxygen “did not reflect my voice.†That assertion is subject to interpretation, however; Ms. Winfrey was host of a 12-part series called “Oprah Goes Online†on Oxygen. The show was sort of a primer on the Internet. She also was frequently referred to as a co-founder of the channel in news reports at the time. Continued on the next pagePage 1 2
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