Paris Hilton Fires Spokesperson Elliot Mintz After Court Fiasco
Elliot Mintz is no longer representing heiress and celebutant Paris Hilton. Reports are stating they have parted ways in light of her recent court date, and despite his efforts to defend her in court, efforts Judge Michael Sauer who presided over the case against Hilton called "completely worthless," he was given the boot. Mintz, who's also repped Yoko Ono released this statement to the media:
The day after the hearing, I sent an e-mail expressing my sadness over the ruling of the judge and the irrational sentence he imposed. In that e-mail I also offered my sincerest apology for any misunderstanding she received from me regarding the terms of her probation. To the extent that I have miscommunicated information I received from her attorneys......I am deeply and profoundly sorry. I told her that I assume personal responsibility for my part in this matter. I believe when stated in court that she believed it was o.k. for her to drive under certain circumstances she was being absolutely truthful. Due to this misunderstanding, I am no longer representing Paris. For the record, I have nothing but love and respect for Paris and her family. Paris is a wonderful person and does not deserve the punishment that was handed down by the court. I only wish her my best.
One can only imagine that today is the happiest day in Elliot Mintz life. No longer will he be forced to release dissembling statements so skillfully crafted, so tautological and yet incoherent, that the web of deceit he weaves is perceived as truth and the media is left with a bewildered mix of frustration, confusion and a sense of vertigo. He's got mad skillz!
Here's some of Mintz's greatest hits:
In response to FirecrotchGate of '06, wherein we all observed Brandon Davis in a drunken rant going on and on about the unique characteristics inherent to Lindsay Lohan's ginger-hued nether regions, whilst Paris cackles in delight, and Mintz winces in pain - the pr man released this gem:
"The only thing I want to underscore is the person making the statements was not Paris Hilton," he says, "It is unfair to characterize Brandon's statements as being reflective of Paris' feelings about Lindsay. We're dealing with two different people. It was Brandon who was speaking, of course there are moments when Paris was laughing, but she never said anything. Brandon was speaking for himself not for her. Personally," he adds, "I found the incident unnecessary."
A couple of my personal favorites were his responses to pictures of Paris at a Dolce and Gabbana fashion show, her purse wide open displaying a tidy bag of what could only be the finest sativa in all the land, and in a separate incident were she is witnessed smoking something that could only have been described as a joint. With this kind of flagrant and taunting display of disregard for the law, he pulled out all the stops and released prevaricating statements in spite of photographic evidence to the contrary:"Things are not always as they appear. It would be unfair to draw any conclusions based solely on these photos." Continued on the next page
