Paris Hilton + Gerard Butler = Trip To Clinic
Rumors are surfacing that perpetual party-girl and human petri dish, Paris Hilton has set her sights on 300 star, Gerard Butler. Which seems odd, seeing as she's a completely diseased waste of air and he's a hot piece of manliness. Then again, if we've learned anything about celebrities, it's that they're STUPID.
The Daily Star, which isn't exactly the most "reputable" source is stating that the two are an item and Paris, typically an attention-whore, is working hard to keep this fresh, new (well new anyway, Paris hasn't been "fresh" in about 15 years) romance secret. Here's the nonsense from the DS:
PARIS Hilton’s vow to stay single after splitting from Benji Madden last month is proving a hard promise to keep.We’re not surprised to hear she’s been getting cosy with acting Scotburger Gerard Butler, 39. So cosy, in fact, she calls him Braveheart.
The pair went to elaborate lengths to avoid being pictured together at LA’s Bar Deluxe.
However, we’ve heard Paris, 27, is also receiving courtly advances from a hunky billboard model.
We admire her work.
Braveheart huh? Well that makes sense. More like Bravepenis if you ask me. You know what all this means? Another one bites the dust. The problem with Paris, of which there are many, is she is a diseased piece of trash. And once you've sifted through trash, you then end up smelling like garbage. So now, my fantasies of Gerard and I someday meeting and sharing a frosty cocktail and a few laughs are over, unless of course I wear a hazmat suit and bring a can of Raid.
Let's file this under: PLEASE LET THIS BE BS and call it a day.
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