Parent and Childfree Regret
All too often the childfree are told they will regret their decision not to have children. In interviewing over 100 couples for Families of Two and having talked to thousands of childfree since, not one person has spoken of regret. Instead they talk about the regret they would have if they had had kids!
Parents may be the ones who think the childfree will regret not having children, but they can also be the ones with the regret. But that is real taboo to talk about. That’s why it’s refreshing to see the candor from those who are brave enough to break the taboo.
Here is a father who does just that. He recently shared his thoughts on New York Times journalist Lisa Belkin’s blog, Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting.
“My wife and I didn’t get married until we were in our 30s, and didn’t have our first child until five years after that. We were both well-educated, with great jobs, and we lived a jet-set lifestyle: apartment downtown, busy jobs, etc. We now have two kids, ages 4 and 1.No matter how well prepared I thought I was, I was not prepared for the sheer magnitude of changes to my life.
- Being the go-to guy at work, who can jump on a plane at a moment’s notice to go meet a client: gone.
- Working on my master’s degree with evening classes: gone.
- Playing on a local basketball league: gone.
- Playing golf on Saturdays and lazy Sunday mornings: gone.
- Living in a bohemian loft apartment: nope, now it’s a house in the suburbs with a 45-minute commute.
- No more personal projects, like the book I wanted to write, or starting a consulting business on the side, or training to run a marathon: all gone.